Bitch!

You know it's sale when you get women bitching at you before you've even finished your sentence and then bitching at you when you offer to run around after them when your helping other people.

To be fair to her it seemed she had got the hump because she was too fat for our stuff and had to make do with kitting the two princesses she had out in designer gear because they don't make high end threads in her size.

It's not our fault she looked like an oversized scrotum (and acted like one)

DONT TAKE IT OUT ON US!

Ooops

Just thought I would share a moment of brilliance with you all...

Guess which one I sharpened???






Note to self: eye pencil sharpener not such a good idea!

Equality in the workplace

Yes that is broken but I pieced it together just for the snap...

Then chucked it

Come dine with me

Hideous example of how not to wear a corset on today






People had to eat looking at that breast vomit!

Door

Record amount of times we have whispered 'born in a barn?' at each other today when people have left it open upon entering or exiting the store...

Frisbee

A circular piece of cardboard provided much fun today. Launching it over the rails from the office I almost got KB. Then from down the back I shouted 'let's get EA!' I threw it and then heard an 'arrrrrgggghhhh'. I'd completely missed EA (who stuck her head around the rail and said 'I'm over here') and instead managed to smack KB in the arm with it full pelt. When I went over to see what was going on she was leaning on the rails laughing her head off and clutching her arm. Good job perhaps it wasn't her head as she later said that it just appeared over the rail and twatted her on the arm!

Fishing line

Wandering around the stockroom putting stuff away, I suddenly got stuck and had to lean on the door frame to stop myself falling over. I looked down thinking I must have got my foot stuck in a wire but couldn't see anything. Then KB got stuck right behind me. In a confused voice asked 'what... What's going on?' EA came round the corner to see what the issue was and saw us both stood there looking perplexed. I tried to move my feet and then saw the glint of fishing wire that I had managed to get stuck round my boots in a figure of eight. EA went to try and find the end while KB detangled herself and then tried to detangle me. She managed to get it off one of my boots while I franticly hopped towards her while she was pulling the line. EA came back with the reel and KB pulled the last bit which then tied itself firmly round my left boot. 'I've caught an EM!' she shouted as I hopped around while she was pulling my leg in the air. 'where did it come from?' I asked EA. 'It was under the sports bras!' she said, meaning that I had managed to some how wander around quite a bit before tangling up KB and myself in it.

What's worse is that KB thought I had stood in the bin before she realised what was going on!

Pet names

We have Stanley and now we have christened the Kimble gun mr stab.

101 things to say just before you put some one on hold...

Number 78:

JT: let me just get my hands together...

How do they get home?

Customer writes their postcode as cb4 02qa

What they mean is cb8 0qa

Retards!

Twins

Man and woman come into the store, woman goes to the basement for a fitting, man leaves.

A man come back in store...

Moi: I think she's still downstairs...
Man: I'm sure she is but I don't know who.
Moi: you didn't come in with someone earlier?
Man: no
Moi: oh sorry!

Needless to say he beat a hasty retreat... Oops!

Crazy lady

3 custs came in together and started browsing. Another lady came in after them and started talking to them, I thought they were all together until I hear the lady who came in last ask one of them for £2. After the customer declined, the crazy lady asked her if she was local, and was telling the cust that she was local. She then was telling the cust that she was going to sainsburys later and how her trip to the doctors went.

I was trying to get hold of KB while this was going on to get her to listen to this but unfortunately she was on the phone.

I also should have paid attention to the crazy lady as I then found her behind me in the queue in sainsburys clutching a bottle of lucozade. Perhaps not the best form of liquid refreshment for her?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Days

Moron Monday
Twat Tuesday
Wanker Wednesday
Thicko Thursday
Fuck-tard Friday
Stupid Saturday
Special Sunday

Dedicated

KB picked up a huge armful of bras and realised she had gathered up the front of her dress with them. Realising she couldn't get her dress down without dropping all the bras so she just made a run for the stock room... And was faced by Zoe and EA EA did kindly point out that KB was flashing her gash and KB replied that she knew but she was holding way too many bras!

Distracting

EA and I were having a conversation about her latest squeeze, then I spotted something
EA: and I said I turned down sex with a boy because of you.
Moi: surely you shouldn't be... It looks like you've got a pube wrapped around your necklace!

Cruel

British cust is waiting while her American friend tries on dresses. American tries on a 10 and friend is disgusted and gets her a 14. When that is then too big I offer her a 12. Brit asks about the black maxi, I tell her we have one in a 10 but it is quite generous.
'oh no' she replies 'she's much bigger than that'

Big

Nice to know that a pair of size 18 pants can fit two people...