Work it out

Cust: this tops filthy and it's been tried on, I want a discount on it!
(bandeau top, rolling down at the top of the cups)
Moi: (after I was summoned) oh, I see, the marks are where it's been on a plastic hanger so the fabric has been pushed flat...
Cust: but look at this! It's been tried on!
Moi: let me just do something... (pull the fabric up a bit so it's not dragging the inner fabric up) there, it's just as it's stretching down it's pulling the top of the cup down.
Cust: ah yes, that's better. I only want it for when I do the gardening and I don't want strap marks...
Moi: ah, lovely...

Hub bub creature

Guv'nor!

Let's be brief...

Cust: I want this one... but not this one... I want it in nude...
(asking me to order the au01 in nude after being fitted for a white one)

Night out with the girls!

I don't think this needs an explanation... Plus I don't think there was one!

Happy bag!

Oops

This is the result when you get an FA60 stuck round a pole and then try and pick it up... With your foot...!

Shenanigans

Moi: are you doing swimwear?
JH: I am but I like to take it a certain way...

JH: Wheres my baabaay....
Moi: innit
(after getting out of a dress that she shoved a dressing gown up so she looked pregnant)

JH: that sounded like an inner fish wife. We all have a fish wife inside us.... Ooohhh, that sounded awful!

Cust: I want to try this on in another size...
Moi: what size were you looking for?
Cust: err a 32... Hang on... Err a,b,c,d,e,f,g... 32 gg...
Moi: ok, let me go and get that for you...

VG: Why have we got two sheets for Wednesday the fifth? And they are both for days you were in...I'm so confused...
Moi: check the dates on the other sheet....
VG: Thursday the eleventh... What the fuck? The other one is for a Thursday as well! (lots of giggles) you sat down and changed the date but also changed Thursday to Wednesday!

JT: I love spam
VG: spam?
JT: no... Corned beef hash
VG: how do you make that again?
JT: potato, corned beef and hash... Hang on, there's no hash in there...

HS: where are all the catalogues?
EM: hat locks?
HS: cat locks?
EM: no... I thought you said hat locks...
(in stockroom)
EM: I thought HS just asked me for a hat lock...
HS: (after wandering round the small stockroom) stop talking bollocks! Where are they!?!

EM: can I have some help?
(silence)
KB: yeah, what with?
EM: I need help out there...
KB: alright...
EM: you've got a fitting!
KB: what! You bitch! Garrrrr! (hulk smashes bras down)
JT: what was that?
KB: I just got angry and went raaar....
JT: EM why do you make everyone hulk out?

HS: I've got these for you (to a cust)
Cust: oh! Well done!

Discussing the white pants to the new Freya bra...
JT: it's a shame that in the catalogue she looks like shes got a PACKAGE! yep your going to hear my voice when you look at it...

HS: awwww man! You can totally see my belly button (through top) I've got a Pillsbury dough boy belly going on...

We were having a conversation on parasitic foetuses and a man who had two legs and a shoulder growing out of his gut. Naturally the conversation turned to wether when having sex he would lay them on the back of who he was shagging or ask the other person to hold them up.... HS walked in and asked why she only hears the random conversations when she comes downstairs.... At this point KB was showing us her mutant boob and JT said it was trying to eat the other one (hence the parasitic topic) HS stops in the doorway...
EM: (gesturing to HS for help) what do you call them?
HS: I do t know but I call them ruby and precious...
(she thought we were talking about names of our boobs as KB had hers out!)

Cust: I dont like the upholstery on this...
(cust talking to JT about a moulded bra she was trying on)

Wanker Wednesday

Cust: this is feeling a bit tight...
JT: well this ones a 36ff...
Cust: (interrupting) can I try a 36dd?

Moi: mrs JARRET said that her bras were in some dump down Newmarket road.
KT: I used to live there!
MO: giggles quite a bit
KT: well not in the sorting office but near there...

Comic timing

Answer the phone just as Blondie blares out 'hanging on the telephone' at a more than ridiculous volume.

Cust: have you got anything at 3?
Moi: I've got ten past three or ten to three?
Cust: what was the first one?
Moi: ten past three
Cust: quarter past?
Moi: no, ten past...

Well do you?

Moi: do you do... Agressive swimming?
Cust; (what? Stare)
Moi: breast stroke?
Cust: yeah...