Fitter malfunction

FH: so, we don't fit with wires... No. That's wrong, it's been a long day

FH: all the support comes from the bottom...

I think you're mistaken

(VG is talking to another cust on the shop floor, this cust keeps trying to interrupt and gets huffy when the other cust keeps talking)

(VG's current customer steps back to look at something)
Cust: Right
(Current cust resumes talking)
Cust: huuufff
VG: if you want more sizes they can help you down stairs

(She goes down)

Cust: right, these are the right size (holds up the bikini bottoms) but I need the top
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: I'm a 38
EM: and cup size?
Cust: B
EM: ah, our styles start at a D cup
Cust: a D then
EM: have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: yes for bras
EM: ...ok. And were you looking for the tankini or the bikini or both?
Cust: the bikini, depends on how I look I might want the bikini
EM: ok, (shows cust to a room) I'll be back with the top

(EM goes to look in the stock room but can't find it, she's been gone a minute and MO comes in)

MO: there's a lady in number 6 yelling 'hello, hello? I don't want to be here all day!'
EM: oh bloody hell

(EM goes upstairs, smallest size she can find is a 38E)

EM: sorry, I had to go upstairs to have a look
Cust: I was told not to take anything from upstairs
EM: oh right... Unfortunately I don't have a D in stock at the moment but I have an E
Cust: that's huge, I won't fill that, look (holds it up to her boobs, that are in a spanx style camisole, so being squished down) its far too big, I shan't ask for these in a bigger size either, I'll leave it
EM: oh ok...

Looks like it fits...

Other issues

JE: my cust said that her hormones were causing her to break out in spots, more like all the crap she's eating from the look of her...

Rude

EM: can I just take your postcode please
Cust: (with venom) can't you just put it through the till?
EM: sure

(Gets to the payment part)

EM: if you just pop your card in, it will be ready for you in a second

(Cust puts pin in but makes a mistake. At the bottom of the screen it says 'CNL=NO ENT=OK')

Cust: (stabbing at the 'clear' button) a number hasn't gone in and your clear button isn't working
EM: if you press cancel, it takes it back one number at a time
Cust: well, thank. you.

(Receipt prints out)

EM: if you keep hold of these as I haven't been able to create an electronic receipt for you...
Cust: (again, with venom) just like a normal shop. Thanks.
EM: ok.

Hiding

(Cust is trying on a dress)

Cust: this band isn't supposed to be around my waist? It's supposed to be under my boobs?
EM: yeah
Cust: it's very good at disguising my gin and tonic baby... And my vodka baby

Measuring

Cust: I measured myself last night and I'm a 33, so can I get these in a 34? (Hands over a load of bras)
JH: do you want a fitting?
Cust: no, I'll be fine with these in a 34
JH: ok...

Not in that size

Cust: this one was quite tight in a 28G, so maybe I can have it in a 28GG? And this one was quite loose in the 30, I know they're the same style but maybe I can try them in other sizes?
EM: this style only goes up to a G
Cust: (holds up the other bra that was in a 30) maybe I can have this in a 30GG?
EM: they don't do GG's. If this one was tight, why don't we try this in a 30 and then the one that was loose in a 28...
Cust: oh! Yes! Ok!

That place

(Cust is trying on a bra that is far too small for her but won't listen to any advice. After a while she come out of the changing room)

EM: how did you get on?
Cust: no thanks it didn't fit, I'm going to go to that expensive place
EM: oh, ok
Cust: you know, Rigby and Peller...
EM: sure...