Pit stop

JJ: are you alright?
EA: yeah... I was just daydreaming about if a gunman came in and took everyone hostage, what would I do?
JJ: offer to suck his cock! Job done!
EA: wasn't thinking that extreme!

AS: I don't like this bench, it hurts my spine
Moi: really? There the same benches as last time!
AS: I know, lean back... Feel it?
Moi: no... But Ive got padding...
AS: no one has padding on their spine!
Moi: what about the fatties that come in?
AS: you can still see their spine
Moi: I suppose... Some of them have a back bum where it all goes in...
AS: exactly!
Moi: what about the really big ones, the space hoppers?
AS: when they lean over you can see it...
Moi: tell you what when your fitting them you see if you can feel it.
AS: ok (makes two fingers round the back band motion, followed by a finger stroke down an imaginary spine)
Moi: yes! Just like that! I'll shaddow you fitting and then you do that and you'll get bonus points.
AS: we will both do it.
Moi: you could just use the back of your hand when pulling the back! You big weirdo!


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Wet Wednesday

EA: there's a strong smell of fabreeze in here...
Moi: (walking round the corner) hahahahahaha
EA: is it poo perfume!?

Moi: this is going to be like squeezing a monkey into a barrel...
(getting a heffer into a bikini)

Moi: my bum is eating my pants...
EA: sexy...

Moi: we would be fucked up the arse if MR was in a fitting...
MO: oohhhhh.... Not the arse.....

Moi: well we don't have that colour so you will have to try this one...
MO: and if you don't like that then kindly fuck off...

Today I found....

This rather fetching shopping list!


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Clearing up the stockroom

It got to a point last week where it didn't matter if the bras were on their correct boxes, the floor near them was good enough.

Here is some casual talk regarding the anarchy that was the stockroom

Moi: we have to sort out the 30's. It looks like road kill...
EA: that's been driven over five times!

Moi: I've almost finished the 30's
VG: I've almost done the 38's, shotgun the 40's
Moi: 28's!
EA: oh my god!
VG: haha burn!
Moi: too slow my friend! You got the 32's!

MR: oh look at that lovely present you've left for me...
(strapless)

VG: have you hoovered?
Moi: no...
VG: it looks bigger...
Moi: that's because there isn't a tonne of boxes lying about!

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It's only Thursday...

JH: (from big stockroom) what you eating?
Moi: (from little stockroom) fish.
JH: don't come near me with that!
Moi: why?
JH: I don't like the smell
VG: (comes through to the little stockroom) what is it?
Moi: tuna...
VG: eeewwww why didn't you say tuna? Fish sounds so horrible!
JH: hey! What's that smell?!
(at this point I start wafting my hand in front of my crutch while JH wanders through doing exactly the same thing)
VG: you two are so minging!

VG: what is she doing?!
Moi: she's sniffing me...

EA: we've decided that you and AS's love child would be called alla...

KC: (on the radio) can you repeat the code please?
VG: it's pn74... (leans back on door which makes a wet fart sound... AS and I look at each other and start to laugh which sets VG off in hysterics) I can't! You tell her!

VG: your like the product queen! (quietly) just don't let you go near any boxes....


Moi: oh JH did you see that customer earlier?
JH: (laughing) the one stood by the desk?
Moi: yeah, you were dressed to match!
JH: ohhhhhhh! *flips the bird*
(they were both wearing orange and purple, in the same shades)




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The Morning After The Night Before

We all went out on Friday night, to celebrate EP's Birthday. A merry time was had by all.

KA having a sneaky ciggie
Laughting at EP's i.d that was very blatently not hers
Playing hide and seek at work
The very imaginative cocktail that EP made up consisting of orange juice, apple vodka and champagne
The discussion about ginger people
AS buying huge shiny white shorts in an 8 so she at least had some clean underwear in the morning if nothing else!
EP wanting to go dancing and AS not wanting to walk far so all of us ending up at 'The Place'.
Having a Carling moment if EP didn't get into the club
EP throwing up in her hand
VK Orange overload
Four of us sleeping in one bed
JR spooning AS
Two hours sleep
AS chundering in the morning
EP and AS having to wear the same clothes the next day


So the next morning I'm at work at 8:30 tidying up the champers bottles ect... EA comes in bloated and later quips that she spent most of the day looking pregnant. EP and AS get there at almost 9:30. AS informs is she can't function without a coffee. Once downstairs AS crouches over a box like Gollom and groans a lot.

Quotes of the day!

AS: don't make me fit! I'm still drunk!
(we did, and the following conversation is from her first fitting)

AS: she knows I'm drunk!
Moi: how?!
AS: I can't speak! I said 'my names....errr.... ******' then I took her to a room we used for hide and seek and the stool was in the middle of the room and the magaznes were everywhere, then I started telling her about the fitting and said 'you know we don't use tape measures... errr... because there inacurate and... errr... all bras come up differently even if there made by the same person.' I can't do this!
Moi: hahahahahaha
(AS leaves)
EA: where's AS?
Moi: in a fitting!
EA: hahahahahaha

AS: I really can't do this! She hates me! I can't find anything to fit and she's going to cry!

KB: AS your next fittings here...
AS: *terrified eyes* what! No!
KB: it's a double...
Moi: hahahahahaha
AS: *gonna pass out through fear eyes* I can't....
MR: If your still drunk, I'll take them through and you can do my appointment. I don't mind covering, we've all been out the night before and been a bit green the next day, you do look green...

EA: look (rubs belly) I'm sooooo bloated, I don't know if I need to poo...

MR: am I the only one working! Covering for green fitters!

MR: EP I do love you, even though I lock you in cupboards and shout at you... (aside) schizophrenic...

AS: I can't drink anymore of this... It reminds me of VK Orange...

Just another manic... Wednesday?

WTF is going on with people!

Cust: I'm a 30hh and there's a really nice green and grey bra upstairs....
Moi: (after a very long pause) the moulded plunge?
Cust: yeah that's the one...
Moi: that one only goes up to a g
Cust: 32g?

Cust: I want her to get measured...
KA: we haven't got a fitter free as she's with someone at the moment and we shut in 20 minutes...
Cust: (interrupting) she wants a strapless...
KA: as I said the fitters with someone but you can try some on and I can check you in them
Cust: humph...


Cust: I want a fitting...
Moi: ok, the fitters going to be free in about 40 minutes, is that going to be ok?
Cust: yeah that's fine...
Moi: what are you looking for today?
Cust: exactly what I'm wearing...






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