Might want to stop talking...

EA: it smells of poo perfume down there
Moi: (mouthing it) theres someone in here...
EA: oh!!!! (falls on the till laughing)

Use English!

Cust: I want a black underwired bra in a 32f
Moi: any particular styles as we have quite a few...
Cust: well I couldn't see any upstairs but I want it for a dress that's low at the front...
Moi: ok, did you want moulded, non-moulded. If your dress is quite fitted did you want plain or theres lacy..?
Cust: well I would like to try them all.
Moi: ok, well I'll get some of them...

(I come back with 5 different low fronted bras)

Cust: (looking at me as though I'm some sort of retard) strapless? They need to be strapless
Moi: oh right, when you said black bras...

70yr olds day out

MR: she's so fussy, I've taken another one through cos she wanted to be done and there's another one.
Moi: yep and shes requested you.
MR: (leans on rail) oh fuck sake...

Jesus! They're taking over!

And to prove a point the next shot shows my foot in comparison...





Things then got a bit messy as they ate KB...

Flashdance!

There's one on the other side thats just starting to do the YMCA...

Oops

This is how we roll our trees...

Delivery

Hostage situation at work today!










What's a girl to do! Trip to the supermarket it is then!

Models

Fatty

Cust trying on all the bikinis we had in a 38F. JH asked me if I knew she was there trying on.
Moi: what the bloater?
JH: yeah (grimaces)
Moi: that's not something you want to see flopping about on the beach
JH: no but it's the one you sit next to!

Moral of this story is always sit next to the fattest person you can find so that you look fricking amazing!

Err... There?!

Im sat on the monument outside work and an older lady asks me if I'm familiar with the area for which I reply yes. She then asks me where's the nearest place that sells picture frames. I point to the Cambridge Framing Center and tell her that they do them. "where?" she replies. "just there the framing shop with the mirrors in the doorway." staring at her. "oh." she says like it's a complete mystery why they would sell mirrors.

Eek!

MR goes up the stairs to the toilet.
VG: argh! I'm in here!
MR: oh sorry, are you sat down?
VG: no!
JH and I snigger quietly
MR: I did that once to EA... I think she was sat down...

Minion

MR had just emptied the office bin and EA and I were talking to her. I then threw my empty coffee cup into the bin.
EA: nice one!
Moi: oh god, sorry MR!
MR: that's ok, it's what I'm here for...

Bum

EA and I in the office, we went to switch seats and EA realised she needed a pen, inadvertent bumming occurred. EA decided this was quite fun and did it again. Then telling KB that there was nothing to see and she hadn't missed anything.

Help!

MR: are you out there? There's a lady who needs help in the back passage.
Moi: back passage?!
MR: (flustered) the front passage...
Moi: (laughing) ok!
MR: huuuurrrr.

Newbie

New member of staff, a male, 17. He's our stockroom bitch for the next couple of months. MO has already warned MR to keep her hands off and when I said to EA about his age it prompted a raised eyebrow look from me to remind her to keep her paws off as well.

We won't go into the whole MR offering him sweets at lunch!

I wish I had thought of that.

Thank you to KB for showing me this site and to regretsy to posting this little nugget!





Wonderful! I'm going to make me one of these for my next night out on the town! And to make it extra special I'm going to get someone to jizz all over it to make sure everyone knows what a risqué little ho I am.

Does that even fit? Encore

Not ill fitting as such...

Just ill.




For that 'special' occasion. Body armour that morphs your breasts into the thing the armour is protecting you from... Bullets!

Also so high in the cups and straps so close together/thick that you will only be able to wear this with a smock.

Does that even fit? Part 2

A little bit of boob bulge. It's the Joe 90 glasses that do it for me though...







Sweet Jesus! Why don't we have one of these!? A soft cup that's also a plunge (yes you read that correctly, a PLUNGE)
Answer: it's because it looks like you laid a doylie over your tits.







One word, udders.
Three more words: longest boobs ever.







Is this a bra? Or just two shoulder pads held together with some string that I saw pretending to be a bra on etsy?







Fuck me! You could give someone a tit wank without taking your bra off there's so much of a gap at the bottom. (on the plus side this would leave both hands free)







Dont get too close, these bad boys are ready to attack! Also don't bend down unless you want to be cramming yourself back into this like a schizophrenic groper.

Did I mention it's in the sale?




Gives a whole new meaning to hanging out. And is that her nipple?! This is just demonstrating what you can't do in this bra (get something from the top of the cupboard/sniff your own armpit/brush your hair...)

Does that even fit?

Here are some of the bras that made us laugh. (thanks to simply be for most of them)




A stunning invisible wire bra, invisible apart from the wire that's half way up her tit on the right cup.




Count the boobs... Yes that is a third one flopping out the middle. Extra points to this one though. It was also to be found in the plunge section!




With this bad boy you too can have underwear as outerwear once you combine this with a shrug.




With this you can wear a bra with all your backless dresses, as all that is on display is the two rows of glass nuggets and your back fat.




Cleavage or canyon? You decide!




110% not designed to sit flat on your rib cage (if it was that firm it would probably snap) also not really one for turning round/breathing in unless you want your puppies to break free and start attacking the person next to you.

Leopard obscenities

JT, JH and I all tried on the cheeky monkey (it's called that because it's a monkey being cheeky by dressing up as a leopard, obviously)
Imagine if you will, your boobs, then add another pair on top of them that are trained to attack the person nearest to you as soon as you move/breath.
That's exactly what I want from my underwear.

Fun and games

EA decided we should all play a game today. It was called 'here's the sports bra the lady wants to try on, guess the size'
To make it fair she gave us a clue with what cup size we needed.
We gave up in the end and mauled the customer to find the answer!

Snowball.

We are popular with the pigeon chested. Snowball came in several times to have a gander at our wares. JT kept shooing him out.

Meanie.

Posters.

While I'm all for the lifestyle shots on the pos, who has ever read Peter Pan in their lingerie while sat on a pristinely made bed surrounded by scatter cushions?

Uncanny!

Hardcastle

Crazy lady that you would think was homeless to look at her was in again. This time leaving a note for the owner of the company, recommending that they take her fashion advice
1- make replicas of certain dresses from other stores which turned out to be identical to ones we had done before.
2- use a certain set of patterns that she had stumbled across.
3- use only colours that she deems fit (mushroom, mink, navy, grey.)

Dear god, you can imagine what her wardrobe is like with a colour scheme like that? old man beige and smocks!

Just not fitting!

Spent an hour trawling the Internet for pictures from websites for bras that just do not fit. Much hilarity. Will post them soon!