So many ill fitting bras, so little time...

So after stalking twitter, @BraFitPolice (quite similar to our twitter feed, but probably updated more frequently) had a link to this bra database.

Amazing entry and lack of logic for this user Curvy Kate Bra.

Its quite amusing, but also a good idea, if you dont mind wearing someone elses bra, and or pants...

Just a thought...

Why?

A breast shape database...

Because if youre boobs 'look' like someone elses, then the same bras are going to fit you...


Of course! Why wouldnt they! They might as well fire all the prefessional bra fitters now! (and by bra fitters, I mean the people who actually fit yuou into bras, not just lasso you with a tape measure and then sent you on your way...)

Photograph your tits!

Happy Belated Birthday!

LITBD just realised that Bra Police had its 3rd birthday on the 28th of Feb. So while being a little late (LITBD says they were stunned by bras and didnt notice at the time) the birthday celebrations can commence!

Also, over 10,000 page views. Hello customer haters! We salute you!

Speak English...

Cust: is it here I get different sizes?
EM: yeah! what were you looking for?
Cust: theses looser (points to her ribs)
EM: (looks at tag) ok...
Cust: the cup change?
EM: yeah, if we go up in the back you will need smaller in the cup
Cust: this (points at the cup) fit fine
EM: sure, so if you go up a back size, you need to go down in the cup or it will be too big
Cust: hmmm, looser
EM: yeah
Cust: looser, no, tighter!
EM: oh, ok, so you want a 28?
Cust: I dont know?
EM: a 28 will be smaller
Cust: oh... ok?

CV woes again

Online vacancy advertisement...

A recipe for disaster.

Honest happy birthday

And on the back...

Forgetting

EM: I've given them the time for the next fitting
VG: good, I'd forgotten about that

VG: can you give this to the blonde lady trying on? If you do it then it won't look like I've forgotten her
EM: ok!

VG: can you take these to the lady in number six, I have to get these (shows EM a huge list of clothes)
EM: sure
(EM gets what she was looking for and goes off)
EM: (running back) oh! Gimme stuff!
VG: I was going to say!

Confused

Cust: can I get your opinion?
EM: sure!
Cust: I've got a strapless bra on but I think it's a bit big (pulls the cup out at the side and holds her arms out) I don't know if I need to try the cup size down again?
EM: if you put your arms down... To be honest it looks fine, you'll always have a gap when you pull it but if we go down, your going to get an extra boob on the top of your larger side.
Cust: because the lady said the other one looked big
EM: ok
Cust: and these two. The 34F felt bigger than that one (points to a bra on the stool)
EM: (has a look at bras on the stool, there's the strapless in the smaller cup size and a 32FF in the other bra) the other bra is bigger round the back... and this (holds up the strapless from the stool) is the smaller size
Cust: but.. it was big in the cup
EM: a firmer bra will hold the cup to you. This is the smaller cup size in the strapless, so you can try that and see...
Cust: oh ok

(In the stockroom)

EM: VG, what strapless did you give to the lady in number four? I'm not sure she even knows what day it is...
VG: I gave her the 34E over the top of the door
EM: right? She just got me to check the F and said that she's been given that because the other one looked big?
VG: so she got me to check that and get another one and then kept it on and got you to check it, thinking it was the smaller size... Right...

What just happened?

(Man comes in goes straight to the till)

KB: hello, how can I help?
Man: when Justines bigger she'll need a different size top... But 32 is fine (man leaves really quickly)

EM: what was that?!?
KB: I don't know...

What you would want on a bra

JH: so it's your first fitting here?
Mum: Kate hates shopping, don't you Kate?
JH: ok, what are you looking for today?
Mum: Kate doesn't like lacy bras, do you Kate. Tell the lady what you really want on your bras...
Kate: dinosaurs

(Yes, she really said that. And no, she's not a child. She's in her second year at Manchester University...)

Off on lunch

EM: when are you back?
VG: never... Now. Do you need me?
EM: I need JB to do a fitting at 1pm and I'll be on lunch so I'll need you to co-ordinate
VG: that's fine. Do you want to go now?
EM: I'm just going to get some bikini bottoms and then I'll tell you about the ladies trying on
VG: ah what?!

(EM goes and comes back)

EM: ok, these are for the lady in number four. She's a bit shouty. And there's a lady in number six who wants to try on all the Esmes we have in a 36FF as they come up so differently
VG: oh I hate that! I never know what to say! Ok, go on lunch

(A few minutes later, EM is in the office about to go)

VG: EM! You owe me!
EM: why?!?
VG: the lady in number four was so pissed off when I appeared
EM: oh my god! Why?!
VG: she shouted 'you! Are you a fitter?' I said yes and she said 'good, get in here' I told her I had to check if anyone else needed help first and then I would be with her. Then she shouted 'I was told to put the bra on and someone would be with me but no one has come!'
EM: I didn't tell her I would be with her...
VG: I think it's just because she thinks she's being passed around. So JB can you go and fit her?
JB: what?! So you're going to pass her to me again?
VG: she'll be fine with her fitter... It's just other people

Decisions making process

Cust: (holds up a nude Alana) can I get this
EM: sure, you just pay upstairs
Cust: do I need to ask up there for another one?
EM: no, I can get that for you
Cust: (holds up the Tango II) I'm not sure what one to get as I've had this before and I want it because I need a smaller size in it
EM: oh right
Cust: they're both different shapes too. My fitter said that this has a wire and plastic in it (Tango II) so it might dig in... When I run (pumps arms up and down) it might rub... I don't do much sport. I walk. What one will not bounce when I walk? I'm not making sense am I?
EM: ...it depends on how much of your bust they cover
Cust: oh... I don't want to wobble in the summer... Can I get another one of these? (Hold up Alana)
EM: in nude?
Cust: or white
EM: ok, I'll go and check for you

(EM comes back with a white and nude)

EM: I've got both colours
Cust: I'm not bothered by colour. What's best under white? Nude?
EM: yes
Cust: I wear black and white strappy tops in the summer... And white? Is that cooler in summer? I don't suppose there's much in it...
EM: ...no
Cust: oh I'm awful at making decisions... You make it for me...
EM: take the two you have. You can always get other ones...
Cust: yes. Thank you...

Falling down

AH: there's a customer upstairs who bought some leggings but she's disappointed because they keep falling down... Is there anything we can do?
EM: what?! No!
JB: did she buy them yesterday?
AH: I think so
EM: is she returning stuff?
AH: she's returning a dress
EM: and she wants to return the leggings?
AH: well, she's wearing them
EM: they're probably falling down because she's wearing huge, shiny spanx kickers!
AH: so shall I just tell her that it might just be her shape?
JB: yeah, she tried them in yesterday and decided to take them so, we can't do anything...

Speak! And make yourselves known

(Its 11:50 and EM has just finished with the 11:20 appointment, and her friend is sat on the sofa waiting for her. The 12:00 appointment has let JB know she is here)

JB: Can you take the 12 o'clock appointment through? The 11:40 is late, so I can take her through whenever she gets here...
EM: Sure. (Says out loud) Claire, I can take you through now...

(The friend of the last appointment gets up)

Cust: Sorry, Im the 11:40 appointment... I was just waiting for my friend as I knew she was going to be ages and then I was going to go through...
JB: OH! I didnt know you were waiting for a fitting... I will take you through then...


(In the stockroom)

EM: What a knob! Who just sits there when they have an appointment?

Picky

Cust: I'm 9 weeks pregnant and already my bras are hurting and I'm having to use an extender
EM: Ok, well lets have a look

(Cust shows her bra, its really big in the back because its stretched so much. The cups are small and sagging forward. Shes wearing a 36H)

EM: ok, well, I think we need to go up in the cup to stop you falling out but I'll take you up in the back to give you more room
Cust: Even though I'm wearing an extender? Even now this is cutting into me (lifts up band to show the red mark)
EM: This just doesnt seem to have much stretch left in it so its not able to move with you, its just clamping down
Cust: The wires really dig in, I dont know if you can see? (pulls wire away to show a faint mark) And I know that the support must come from the back but I hate the bulges you get. So I want something with a really deep band. Do you have anything like that?
EM: It's going to be Panache which is what you have on that has the deepest band. We could try a style that is not so deep under the arms so those wires dont dig in?
Cust: I can live with the wires, to be honest they did that when I was fitted for it and I persevered with them, I just dont want the bulges at the back, do you know what I mean?
EM: Sure, well let me have a look and grab something to try

(EM goes into the stockroom and grabs the Panacge Tango II in a balconette, 38H to try her in)

EM: Ok, lets try this and see what happens and then you can tell me what you like and dont like about it
Cust: I cant even do this up, can you see if you can?
EM: Ok, (does it up) there we are, lets just see how this one fits every where and how you feel about it and then I can get some 40 backs to try
Cust: Its too tight, but I like the depth of the band, its holding everything in. The front is really high, dont you have anything lower? I feel like im being strapped down. Im pregnant but I'm not going to be wearing high necked tops all the time... Do you understand?
EM: Yes. now I know what you like and dont like, I can go and get some other styles...

(EM goes and gets some others, There is a Harmony balconette, in a 40GG that is going to be the deepest around the back but the lowest in the cup)

EM: Right lets try this one (the Harmony) Its lower in the front. It has been discontinued in this colour so it was lucky I had one
Cust: I really dont like this one, I just feel clamped down
EM: Ok, lets try this one, as you can see it sits about an inch lower in the cup that the one you have on....

(Cust puts it on)

Cust: Oh thats better, I feel so much more comfortable... I keep wanting to pull it up my back to cover all the bulges, is that normal?
EM: well, the back should be level all the way round, but if you're more comfortable that way...
Cust: I'm not loosing any support... and theres enough room in the front?
EM: Yes...

Specific

Cust: Freya seem to fit me, but I like the 'Untamed' bra and the Curvy Kate one
EM: Ok, I'll go and grab those styles to try on

(EM goes to the stockroom, grabs the two styles she picked out and an extra Freya one)

EM: Right lets try theses

(Cust trys them on, the Curvy Kate doesnt fit as well)

Cust: The freya one fits best...
EM: Ok, was there any other styles I can get?
Cust: I like purple
EM: Ok, I'll go and have a look

(EM goes and finds some purple styles)

EM; Here we are. Have you tried the Deco before?
Cust: Moulded styles dont really work for me
EM: Thats fine, well, I've brought these ones as they are purply
Cust: I'm not really fussed what I get...
EM: Oh. Ok...

Slight technical hitch

Never click 'refresh' again...

Are you sure it's a woman?

Notes for a customer after being booked an appointment for a fitting.

Taking a chance

Cust: I'm on your database so can I get a discount?
AH: err... No

Stare at boobs

++++GUEST POST++++

This was passed along to LITBD from a past retail worker.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/health/doctors-say-looking-busty-women-1107578

Amazing...

Would that mean women get to spend ten minutes a day staring at a hunks huge cock to get the same effect?

Now available for Kindle

LITBD has now branched out onto kindle!

Go get it tigers...

Just answer the question

Cust: I want to try that jacket
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: I don't know
EM: what size do you take in a shirt to get it done up?
Cust: I have lots of sizes
EM: ok
Cust: I'm a 36 or 38...
EM: it's not done by bra size it's done by dress size. For example if I'm a 12 around my waist but can only get a 14 to do up over my bust, then that would make me a 12 RC...
Cust: I'm 89 around my hips and 115 around my top... That's centimetres...
EM: I don't know what that would be in high street sizes...
Cust: what do you think I am
EM: I can't tell at the moment...
Cust: let's try a RC
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: RC
EM: 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 or 18?
Cust: oh 14!
EM: ok, so a RC would make it a 16 in the boobs...
Cust: maybe a SC... I have clothes at home where I have a 12 skirt and an 18 jacket...

You know best...

Cust: I'm looking to by a bra... Panache?
EM: sure! Was it one you've bought from us before?
Cust: yes

(EM gets the custs details up and has a look)

Cust: (picks up the plunge version of the bra she had) this is it
EM: you had the balconette version
Cust: yes
EM: what colour were you looking for?
Cust: black and in a 38...
EM: F
Cust: F? I thought it was a double D?
EM: the last ones you bought in march last year were a 38F
Cust: I thought I had DD?
EM: you had a DD in 2010
Cust: I thought the last one I had was a DD?
EM: the DD was in a swimsuit
Cust: can I have a DD
EM: ok, I'll go and get it

(EM brings up the DD and the F)

EM: I brought both incase you think the DD will be too small...
Cust: (looks at them both) it's not that one (points at the F) that's too big...

(Custs friend comes over)
Friend: you know what size you are
EM: so, go with the DD?
Cust: yes

(Later)

MO: what the fuck
EM: that's never going to fit
MO: I don't know how you kept a straight face...