MR: The biggest spider ever ran across my living room floor last night. it stopped in the middle of the room and looked at me. They do have eyes don't they?
EM: What? Spiders? Yes...
MR: It was sat there on my polished floor and I was too scared to move, it was hilarious
EM: I see...
Saturday, 19 October 2013
I'm sure she will understand...
Cust: I know exactly what I want. I want a plunge. I need to tell you that I have asthma so I can't have them too tight
MO: Ok
Cust: I'm also breastfeeding five times a day
MO: Oh right, how old is she?
Cust: 18 months
MO: Ah, so are you stopping soon?
Cust: I need to have a discussion with her about that, she's too young to understand so I'll wait until she's two
MO:...I see...
MO: Ok
Cust: I'm also breastfeeding five times a day
MO: Oh right, how old is she?
Cust: 18 months
MO: Ah, so are you stopping soon?
Cust: I need to have a discussion with her about that, she's too young to understand so I'll wait until she's two
MO:...I see...
Jumping to conclusions
JB: Your customers seems really simple
FH: She's not simple! She's deaf!
JB: Hmmm, a bit simple too...
FH: No, no, not simple, just deaf!
FH: She's not simple! She's deaf!
JB: Hmmm, a bit simple too...
FH: No, no, not simple, just deaf!
You don't believe me do you?
EM: How can I help?
Cust: I want another one of the bras I had before
EM: Ok, is it the last one you bought and when you bought it did someone log your details?
Cust: Yes
EM: Ok, lets have a look
(EM has a look and finds the bra that the customer had before)
EM: You had that in white, do you want the exact same thing?
Cust: Yes
EM: Lovely, I'll go and get that for you
(EM goes and gets the bra in white, just as the customer asked for)
EM: Here you are!
Cust: Oh, I didn't want it in white I wanted black...
EM: Right... I'll go and get that for you
(EM runs off to get the black version)
EM: Sorry about that, here's the black one
Cust: Thank you
(Cust goes up the stairs, gets half way and comes back down)
Cust: I don't think this is the bra I had before, mine had three hooks on the back
EM: That would be the GG and above sizes that have three hooks
Cust: Ive just had to throw out all the ones I've been wearing as they are falling apart and they had three
EM: I can show you your records so you can see the last one you bought
Cust: Yes
(EM brings up the customers file)
EM: Here we are, around a year ago you bought this one in a 34G (shows cust the tag on the bra she has in her hand) which is the same code. Back in 2011 at around this time you had one in a 34GG and again same time but in 2010 you had a 32H. So this one is the most recent size you have had
Cust: I've had lots of different sizes, maybe I should just get fitted for one as I don't know what size I should get as the ones I have had three hooks and this only has two...
EM: Ok, let me see when they are free for you
(She ended up with the 34G...)
Cust: I want another one of the bras I had before
EM: Ok, is it the last one you bought and when you bought it did someone log your details?
Cust: Yes
EM: Ok, lets have a look
(EM has a look and finds the bra that the customer had before)
EM: You had that in white, do you want the exact same thing?
Cust: Yes
EM: Lovely, I'll go and get that for you
(EM goes and gets the bra in white, just as the customer asked for)
EM: Here you are!
Cust: Oh, I didn't want it in white I wanted black...
EM: Right... I'll go and get that for you
(EM runs off to get the black version)
EM: Sorry about that, here's the black one
Cust: Thank you
(Cust goes up the stairs, gets half way and comes back down)
Cust: I don't think this is the bra I had before, mine had three hooks on the back
EM: That would be the GG and above sizes that have three hooks
Cust: Ive just had to throw out all the ones I've been wearing as they are falling apart and they had three
EM: I can show you your records so you can see the last one you bought
Cust: Yes
(EM brings up the customers file)
EM: Here we are, around a year ago you bought this one in a 34G (shows cust the tag on the bra she has in her hand) which is the same code. Back in 2011 at around this time you had one in a 34GG and again same time but in 2010 you had a 32H. So this one is the most recent size you have had
Cust: I've had lots of different sizes, maybe I should just get fitted for one as I don't know what size I should get as the ones I have had three hooks and this only has two...
EM: Ok, let me see when they are free for you
(She ended up with the 34G...)
Saturday, 12 October 2013
No time
EM: do you want to create an account?
Cust: I won't today, I know they are very useful but I don't know yet if you are right for me
2nd Cust: (interrupting) Oh good! That takes forever!
(EM then takes her time processing her custs transaction and chats to her)
2nd Cust: I want to return this but I don't have the card anymore as I cancelled the account and I'm waiting for a new card.
AB: We could put it on a gift voucher for you?
2nd Cust: No. You already have my account details when I ordered this.
EM: We can only process items with the card as we have to put it through the chip and pin machine. Mail order don't because of long distance selling. We can post it back to the warehouse for you so they can process it.
2nd Cust: if you could. And I want a receipt to say that you're doing that.
EM: I'll write it on the receipt we have you when you paid for it in store.
2nd Cust: Won't you need the paper work?
EM: There is the invoice in the box (lifts up bra)
2nd Cust: oh I see...
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Size
(Rather drunk vaigrant comes in)
Drunk: Tell me, what does a double K look like?
EM: It depends on the back size
Drunk: But what does it look like?
EM: It depends on the back size as cup size scales. So a 28KK will be smaller than a 40KK
Drunk: oh (walks out and shouts to someone outside) SHE SAID IT SCALES WITH THE BACK SIZE!
Drunk: Tell me, what does a double K look like?
EM: It depends on the back size
Drunk: But what does it look like?
EM: It depends on the back size as cup size scales. So a 28KK will be smaller than a 40KK
Drunk: oh (walks out and shouts to someone outside) SHE SAID IT SCALES WITH THE BACK SIZE!
Priorities are not quite right
EM: I have the lady for the fitting on her way down to you
CB: ok thanks
(Later)
CB: She had a beard...
EM: Yep, kinda reminded me of Craig Davids fish mouth thing
KG: I had to fit her! I've had hairy people, I've had fat people, I've had smelly people, I've never had all three in one go!
EM: She was smelly?
KG: yeah, she biked in for a bra fitting... She stank, her armpit hair was gross, I really didnt want to get her to lift up her arm so I could check the wire...
EM: She biked!?!
CB: The smell of B.O has only just gone...
KG: I deserve a medal for that. At least the smell distracted me from her beard. I didn't know where to look!
(later)
KG: Did you see that she left a comment in the book?
EM: No... What the actual fuck!
Friday, 4 October 2013
Too early in the morning for this!
(Discussing the lottery, as the price has doubled)
VG: So we need to think about cutting it down maybe
JH: Or if AH joins then it wont be as much. If it was an even number then we could do 4 lines?
VG: yeah, that would then make it £4 each
EM: So if AH joins are we getting her to pick some numbers?
JH: what?
EM: oh! Yeah, then she would be picking numbers and we get rid of them
VG: yeah, we don't need her to make 8 lines for us to be able to get rid of four, we just get rid of three to make four lines... Have you actually had a coffee today?
VG: So we need to think about cutting it down maybe
JH: Or if AH joins then it wont be as much. If it was an even number then we could do 4 lines?
VG: yeah, that would then make it £4 each
EM: So if AH joins are we getting her to pick some numbers?
JH: what?
EM: oh! Yeah, then she would be picking numbers and we get rid of them
VG: yeah, we don't need her to make 8 lines for us to be able to get rid of four, we just get rid of three to make four lines... Have you actually had a coffee today?
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