Keep ones knickers on

Cust: Hello, I have some bikinis saved
EM: Oh, ok
(EM has a look in the saves box but they are not in there)
Cust: I was told they would be behind the till
EM: I'm just having a look
Cust: It's two bikinis, in a 36F and a 38E
EM: I'm just going to phone downstairs to see if they know where they are
Cust: I was told that they would be kept up here for me
EM: Yes, Im just phoning to see if they know where they put them

(VG arrives)

VG: Hi, do you want to come down? I spoke to you on the phone and your bikinis are with your fitter as we agreed
Cust: Well the girl on reception didn't know that
VG: Well, I do and I'm here...

Best name ever...

AH: this is a list of all the bras that the 2:20 fitting wants to try
EM: Appadoo...
AH: is that really her name?
EM: yeah, or haveapoo
AH: or (starts singing to the Aggadoo tune) Appadoo do do...
(EM joins in and AH does the dance)
Both: push pineapple, shake a tree...

Actually, we are the little elves that come in during the night...

Cust: (on the phone) I was just phoning to see if you were open today, but seeing as you've answered the phone, I guess you are...

Doctors really don't know much update

++++GUEST POST UPDATE++++

So, further on from this post here
Doctors really don't know much

Here's the lady in question in the national Sun newspaper.






She's about a H/HH now and probably a 30 back.

Not the 36DD they like to tell everyone they are when they have their boobs done...

Are you sure...

(Cust is paying by card)

EM: if you can pop your PIN number in please
Cust: ok (types in number) incorrect pin...
EM: ok, if you press the green button and then try again
Cust: ok (checks slip of paper in her wallet, puts number in) it's saying it again and now last try I know it's the right number
EM: alright, so try again and double check before pressing enter
(EM watches the cust put her pin in, except this time the cust changes a number)
EM: there we go

Put your god damn glasses on

(Cust paying with card)

EM: ok if you just want to put your PIN number in...
(Cust presses buttons, terminal says its incorrect)
Cust: what's it doing?
EM: it's saying the incorrect pin was entered.
Cust: press E N T
EM: if you press the green enter button and try again, the numbers are quite sensitive so if you make sure that there are only four stars before you press enter
(Cust puts in number, she's pressing one of them too hard so it goes through twice, without looking she just presses enter)
Cust: what's it doing? I haven't got my glasses on so I can't see
EM: I think it's timed out, it's very particular that your pin is entered promptly
Cust: shall I take out my card?
EM: yeah, we can try again
(EM boots it up, cust puts number in, many keys being pressed twice...)
EM: oh, you've got about seven stars there!
(Cust presses enter)
Cust: oh have I? It's saying last try
EM: yes if you do it carefully and then check that there are only four stars before you press the green button
(Cust does as she's asked, finally. The transaction goes through...)

Doctors really don't know much

+++GUEST POST+++

This was linked to LITBD after it was stumbled across on the Daybreak website





Many people have ranted in the comments that its a waste of NHS money and she should be ashamed.

The interesting bit is that she magically went from a 32 to a 36 while under the knife...
Not sure that she would have asked for extra fat to be put on her if she wants to be a topless model.

It's a shame that women ask for DD's when if they were wearing the right bra they probably had F-G cups anyway.
It's even more of a shame that the people giving them these boobs don't even understand how bras work. The DD's they give them probably would be correct on someone who actually was a 36 back, but as any savvy and well bra educated woman knows cups of the same letter get smaller in volume as the back size gets smaller.

This woman is more likely to have 32F boobs now, if in fact she fits into the cups of a 36DD perfectly

36DD>34E>32F as one commenter rightly points out.

Bra fitting education, education, education...
Starting with plastic surgeons first by the looks of it.

Good effort Avon

LITBD came across this beauty.





"Invisible, even under white t-shirts"
No. Due to the overspill this bra couldn't hide in a tent...

Nice try

Lets be more specific

Cust: I'd like to try these on please (hands over a piece of paper with two bras on it and a note to get any other colourful bras in a 28FF) and anything else you have in that size
EM: Ok, I'll go and get these for you (notices cust has a bra in her hand) did you want to try that on while I get these?
Cust: Yes please
EM: Sure (shows her to a changing room) I'll be back with these

(EM goes off and gets lots of colourful bras in that size and the two that the cust had asked for)

EM: here you are
Cust: Oh there's lots!
EM: Give me a shout if you need anything

(Cust gets EM to check a few and then afterwards asks EM for her opinion on two)

Cust: So what one should I get?
EM: Errr... They both fit you so it depends what one you prefer...
Cust: That's not very helpful, I like both...
EM: Well, the one you have on is a plunge so you might find it more versatile...
Cust: Yes, I'll take this one
EM: Ok, what about the others?
Cust: I didn't really like them, I like pink...

Time you got a watch?

Cust: I'd like a fitting appointment please
EM: Would you like the next available one or one from later on in the day?
Cust: The next one available, is there one now?
EM: Not right now, it will be in 20 minutes, is that ok?
Cust: (to her husband) Oh! We can do that coffee thing!
EM: Ok, so we will see you in 20 minutes

(Customer comes back 35 minutes later, there are two people due in for the fittings after her)

VG: Unfortunately we were expecting you back 15 minutes ago and there are ladies booked in after your slot, so the fitter will be bale to be with you for five minutes and then she has another lady waiting for her
Cust: What! I was told to come back later!

Firm straps

(On the phone)
AH: Can you come up and speak to a lady? She's looking for a bra that has firm straps
EM: Err... has she had a fitting?
AH: No, she doesn't want to get fitted
EM: Right...? I'll come up

(EM sees the customer)

EM: You're after firm straps?
Cust: Yes, I have this Fantasie bra thats really good but it won't last forever
EM: Ok, well we have a few Fantasie styles (shows cust some) were you after thick straps?
Cust: No, that don't stretch
EM: Ok
Cust: See I do a lot of dancing
EM: Do you carry the weight of your bust on your shoulders?
Cust: Well, yes. I have a narrow back but when I get fitted you insist that I need a smaller size and then it digs into my ribs
EM: Right, well, sports bras would be better as they don't have any stretch
Cust: Yes but they are not a great shape to dress up
EM: well... normal bras are not designed to hold you down as much
Cust: Yes, I'll have a look around...

(Cust comes downstairs with a list of bras she wants to try. Some with really stretchy straps, some that won't cover her boobs completely and some sheer. Asked for them in a 32GG and then had to ask for them on a 30, the size she says we 'insist' that she is)

Sizes are so confusing

Cust: I'd like this in a 32F (flicks tag around) I haven't got my glasses on
EM: Ok! I'll go and find it for you
Cust: Either that or a 30EE
EM: Oh, ok

(EM finds the 32F, cust goes and tries it on)

Cust: Can you check this? I think it looks alright
EM: Yeah, that looks fine, you're all in it
Cust: Yeah, that's what I thought, sometimes I need the 30EE as I fluctuate between that and the 32F...

You try to help them...

Cust: I haven't got a fitting but I know what size I had last time, It's a 32H. Do you have anything in that size?
EM: We have loads
Cust: My bra has stretched since then. what size is next from a H?
EM: That would be a HH
Cust: I think it's more girth than the cup. I think I'm more a 33 than a 34...
EM: Did you want a fitting? I have no one waiting at the moment
Cust: I think if I just pick some and try them on and then get someones input that will be fine, yes...
EM: Ok...
(Cust goes upstairs)

Later, the fitting room door opens and she's dressed and ready to leave, without having asked anyone for input...

EM: How did you get on?
Cust: No... I'll need to try some more on but it's a start
EM: Oh, ok

Polite request

This was left for LITBD after informing JB that the ladies who had come in 20 minutes before we closed were German...

Utter bitch.

Cust comes in wanting to return a bra that she bought. The wire has come out completely and there is no plastic on it. She admitted to machine washing it, she has no receipt and it's an anonymous sale...
She is told that due to the age that she says it is, the condition and that we don't have any proof of purchase, we cannot return it.

She leaves...

She then comes back in says that she is very angry and that 'she is the customer!' and wants to speak to the manager.

She then goes off on one, yelling at everyone. She demands to speak to customer services in private. VG goes to get her mobile so that the cust can talk to them but not in our stockroom sanctuary.

VG phones customer services so that they can have a heads up about what's going on.
Cust says that the manager shouldn't have just disappeared.
Cust goes (with VG's mobile) and stands in the entrance of the upstairs changing rooms. A woman in a motorised wheelchair is due to have a fitting in there. HW politely asks her if she could make some room so the lady in the wheelchair could get through for her fitting. Cust shouts 'no' to HW and then start ranting at her.
The lady in the wheel chair ended up having to shuffle into the fitting room as the cust wouldn't move.

Afterwards she slid VG's mobile back to her while VG was serving a customer. She went downstairs and sat on the sofa. VG phoned customer services and found out what had been said. In the meantime the cust went back upstairs and started ranting again that she 'had fought for people in prisons in South America and deserves better'

That's a good reason...

Feedback left...

*Cust called to let us know that the reason she chooses us over competitors is because of the self stick returns labels. if we change to non-stick she will shop elsewhere 'it makes returns so much easier'*

Wrong number

(Cust phones up really angry about a late order)

Cust: I'm calling about an order that I placed with you and its been over a week and you still haven't phoned me to tell me its there!
JJ: Oh I'm sorry but we don't have anything delivered in to store I'm afraid...
Cust: Yes you do! I spoke to someone called Melissa and did it!
JJ: We don't have a Melissa working here? What bra was it?
Cust: It was your store!
JJ: What bra did you order?
Cust: I don't know, Name some names
JJ: Well we have Fantasie, Panache, Freya...
Cust: It was double barrelled...
JJ: We don't have any double barrelled names here... We had Pour Moi but that was a while ago now.. The only one I can think of is Prima-Donna and I think Rigby and Peller stock that...
Cust: Hang on Ive got the paperwork here...
JJ: Was it Rigby and Peller?
Cust: Oh, Goodbye... (hangs up)

Minimising?

Cust: Do you have any soft cup bras?
EM: We have a few, did you want me to bring some for you to try?
Cust: No, I was just wondering, the trouble with all these underwired ones is that they make you look bigger because they push you up
EM: You may find that the soft cups will make you look wider too
Cust: but you still look smaller. Thanks...

(Later, cust is flicking through the catalogue)

Cust: All of these they have the top half coming out (points to the parts of the bust that are not in the bras due to the style)
EM: Thats because those are either plunges or balconettes so they are not designed to cover the whole bust, it would be full cups that do that
Cust: what ones are full cups?
EM: This one is (points to the Fantasie Belle)
Cust: and do they do that in a t-shirt bra?
EM: No, you would end up with it not fitting very well as there wouldnt be any seams to pull the bust in, it would be a big bowl shape...
Cust: I find that the others are just huge with all the padding in them like this one (points to a Fantasie Non-moulded T-shirt bra)
EM: We do have two non-moulded ones...
Cust: You do?
EM: Yes, theres this one (points to the Fantasie Esme) and actually this one is non-moulded (points to the one that the cust had picked out)
Cust: But it doesnt cover her, look at that, you would just get a line and if you moved you would just come out over it...
EM: Well, the whole point is that if they fit you then you wont
Cust: I find it very hard to get t-shirt bras, especially if they are fitted...

Have a bloody fitting!

Cust: I'm looking for 32D but I can't seem to find any
EM: oh! We have most sizes in our stockroom (looks at custs boobs) have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: I've been fitted at Triumph recently so I know that's my size so I just need to try them on
EM: ok, well some bras come up smaller than others so it might be worth while being fitted for them
Cust: I don't like being fitted, I end up losing the will to live
EM: right, was there any styles that you were looking for in particular?
Cust: I have balconettes in that size but I'm coming out the top
EM: that sounds like the cup size is too small
Cust: no, I just don't suit that shape I need something fuller
EM: ok, so just full cups in that size?
Cust: yes (points at a balconette) this is pretty and it's got a big cup
EM: that one is actually a balconette (checks tag) and its a G so it is going to look like to covers more that the D would
Cust: well something like that
EM: ok... (goes through some on the computer to check the stock)
Cust: are you getting them for me?
EM: I'm just checking some that are in stock and picking out styles that are quite roomy so you don't end up with lots that don't fit in that size (points to the Alana) as a D in a balconette is small, you would need a DD, but this comes up small anyway so you would need an E
Cust: not a DD?
EM: no because its small anyway. (Finishes checking) there's four for you, I haven't put many down as you don't want a fitting and I don't want you do give up because they don't remotely fit
Cust: oh no, I won't give up
EM: if you take this down they can get these and then other styles you would like too once you know what works and what doesn't
Cust: ok, thanks

(Cust then leaves without taking anything half an hour later)

You either you do or you don't

EM: How can I help?
Cust: I have this bra and I bought it going by what I had before but it's too big so I'd like to get the cup size smaller
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: this is a GG but it was huge. So just one cup size down
EM: sure, we have it in stock, did you want to try it on?
Cust: I've had it before, that was five years ago and they might have stretched but I'm sure it will be fine
EM: ok, so you just want to take it?
Cust: yes, it should fit, shouldn't it...
EM: well, if you don't want to try it I'll get someone to just bring it up...