Saturday...

GB: the man said it would heal in 7 to 10 working days
Moi: 7 to 10 working days?
JT: yeah, it doesn't heal on weekends
GB: (laughing hysterically) and there's lots of bank holidays coming up

(telling EA about a tescos he-she)
Moi: plus it looked like if you looked at it wrong it would rape you in all your bodily openings.
EA: bodily orifices?
Moi: no openings
EA: that's the same thing
Moi: no openings, like your eye sockets
EA: eye socket rape, I'm going to have nice dreams tonight...
Moi: (putting a dress on head in despair) I look like a nun! Look at my habbit!
EA: a nun?! I'll have five hail marys an a eye rape please...

Cust: this bra sticks out quite far
EA: I'll get another one (brings back same bra in cup size down)
Cust: I really like this one!
EA: so you like the style?
Cust: (sticks out chest) yeah!
EA: (in stock room) this cust thought that the bra, when it was in a smaller size, was a completely different bra!

EA: right...
Moi: left
EA: right...
Moi: left
EA: right...
Moi: left
EA: right...
Moi: left
EA: up
Moi: down
EA: fuck you
Moi: go on then

Moi: is this the stuff KB has sorted out for her fitting?
NM: yes
Moi: oh...
NM: do we need the rail?
Moi: no, I've just put all of that on there...
NM: oh...
Moi: shhhsh... Don't say anything...
(later)
KB: that rail is everything for my fitting
Moi: haha, ok
(in stock room)
Moi: did you tell her?
NM: well... Yeah, she asked what they were and I said it was you...

Cust: I can't find what I want upstairs
JT: what did you want?
Cust: black
JT: ok, black what?
Cust: bras
JT: right do you want plain, lacy...?
Cust: yeah
JT: ok, what size are you?
Cust: I think it's a 36 but I don't know what cup
JT: in that case do you want to go in here so I can have a loom as I can't get you anything unless we know what cup size you are...


Man: I've been sent down here to ask you for the tape that pulls you boobs together (makes hand action that says 'thin tape' and then the sign for 'giant cleavage')
Moi: I'm really sorry but we don't sell any tape that would do that
Man: thats ok I think there's been confusion all round (he leaves)
Cust: (stood by desk while this crap game of charades was going on) well done for not laughing at the hand actions
Moi: I might have to go into the stockroom to have an epic giggle
Cust: I don't blame you!

NM: I've just put a tree out and bumped into the Lego man and then turned around to it an apologised...
JT: do you want me to go out and ask if he's ok?

HS: HP saw this and said I should try this on
Moi: and you wanted a donut
HS: I think there all gone
Moi: there all gone?!
HS: yeah I think JT ate quite a few
(later In stockroom)
EA: my lady heard you shouting about the donuts and asked me what was going on...

KB: this lady is the biggest person I have ever seen, she's like a 42/44
Moi: Jesus!
KB: you should see her when she leaves
Moi: maybe I should stand there eating a donut (I pose with donut right as someone opens the stockroom door)
JT: (to lady) she will be with you in a minute
Moi: (running away) damn it!


KB was fitting a lady that to every question said I dont know and then laughed. on discussing this later...
EA: at least she was having a positive emotion...
KB: it wasn't a positive emotion it was just general fucktardidness...

EA: (hugging JT from behind) JT an I are going to Essex to have sex... (terrified eyes from JT) not together obviously...
Moi: (pause) JT saw my vag...