Cust: I need bras in a 30HH
HS: you can ask them downstairs if you want and they can get you a selection or you can pick what ones you like and I can check if we have them...
Cust: the problem I always have with you is that you don't ever have anything in my size
HS: oh, I'm sorry. It's because it's not a core size we don't have more than one bra of each style in stock...
Cust: same old excuse...
Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
'Around' my size
EM: are you looking for a particular size?
Cust: yes... and no... something around my size...
(Later)
Cust: can you get me another size?
EM: sure!
Cust: this is a pretty good fit... its a 34H but it was quite tight scross the back...
EM: ok, ill get you the 36GG
Cust: thank you. I can put these back for you if you want? (has a handful of other sports bras)
EM: thats ok! I can do that! (takes bras)
(EM has a look at the sizes around her size... 34FF, 34F, 34H, 30GG...)
Cust: yes... and no... something around my size...
(Later)
Cust: can you get me another size?
EM: sure!
Cust: this is a pretty good fit... its a 34H but it was quite tight scross the back...
EM: ok, ill get you the 36GG
Cust: thank you. I can put these back for you if you want? (has a handful of other sports bras)
EM: thats ok! I can do that! (takes bras)
(EM has a look at the sizes around her size... 34FF, 34F, 34H, 30GG...)
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Lost
(JW comes down the stairs and heads to where the stockroom door used to be. She is confronted by a wall, she turns and walks towards the booth)
JW: EM! Where's the stockroom gone!
EM: (laughing) you have to go round now, that's the staff room...
JW: EM! Where's the stockroom gone!
EM: (laughing) you have to go round now, that's the staff room...
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Danger money needed
(EA explaining to EM about a horror fitting she did yesterday)
EA: I had this woman that was a snowglobe. She had soriasis and she was flaking everywhere... It was like the old woman from the shining...
(for those of you unfamiliar with the old woman... Here you go...)
EA: she only wanted soft cups and her boobs started halfway down her body so nothing was going to fit her... When I asked her to separate out her boobs in the middle she didn't know how so I did it and I touched something wet in there that wasn't sweat... I had to wash my hands... And now we have two bras that are fucked as there was blood all over the straps... I asked KM to bag them up as I wasn't touching them again!
EA: I had this woman that was a snowglobe. She had soriasis and she was flaking everywhere... It was like the old woman from the shining...
(for those of you unfamiliar with the old woman... Here you go...)
EA: she only wanted soft cups and her boobs started halfway down her body so nothing was going to fit her... When I asked her to separate out her boobs in the middle she didn't know how so I did it and I touched something wet in there that wasn't sweat... I had to wash my hands... And now we have two bras that are fucked as there was blood all over the straps... I asked KM to bag them up as I wasn't touching them again!
My fault
(cust has just handed over a piece of paper that has a Fantasie Esme in black in a 36d listed on it)
EM: I'll just go and get that... (EM gets it and returns) here you are, if you go through to any of the first six, around to the left...
(cust wanders through to the changing rooms but goes all the way round)
JJ: do you just want to try on?
Cust: yes I'm looking for the six on the left...
JJ: it's any of the first six...
Cust: oh...
(later)
Cust: this is wrong, I don't know where I got d from... It's probably more my fault than yours...
(EM goes through and checks the custs bra)
EM: it's very small, I think you need about a g...
Cust: I know this is the wrong size but it doesn't feel very supportive... (it's so small that the top of the cup barely covers her nipples and she's oozing out of the sides and the front)
EM: if we get one that fits it will be supportive...
(the G fitted her perfectly)
EM: I'll just go and get that... (EM gets it and returns) here you are, if you go through to any of the first six, around to the left...
(cust wanders through to the changing rooms but goes all the way round)
JJ: do you just want to try on?
Cust: yes I'm looking for the six on the left...
JJ: it's any of the first six...
Cust: oh...
(later)
Cust: this is wrong, I don't know where I got d from... It's probably more my fault than yours...
(EM goes through and checks the custs bra)
EM: it's very small, I think you need about a g...
Cust: I know this is the wrong size but it doesn't feel very supportive... (it's so small that the top of the cup barely covers her nipples and she's oozing out of the sides and the front)
EM: if we get one that fits it will be supportive...
(the G fitted her perfectly)
Me not doo mafs innit
Cust: I'd like to return this bra, I've only worn it twice and the wires have come out...
KJ: was it just a return or did you want to exchange it?
Cust: I'd like to exchange it (cust pulls out a very old and very grey bra. There is no plastic on the wires as it looks like its been machine washed and that's why the wires are out)
KJ: did you want to get fitted for a new bra as this one has been discontinued?
Cust: I'll get fitted
KJ: ok, if you pop downstairs they will be able to sort that out for you...
(later)
Cust: I've got the exchange, I'm going to take this one instead (masquerade Rhea)
KJ: (puts the return through and then scans the new one) ok, that leaves £15.50 to pay
Cust: how does that work? I'm exchanging it?
KJ: the one your bringing back cost £19.50 and the one you want to take costs £35 so that makes a difference £15.50
Cust: oh... I see...
KJ: was it just a return or did you want to exchange it?
Cust: I'd like to exchange it (cust pulls out a very old and very grey bra. There is no plastic on the wires as it looks like its been machine washed and that's why the wires are out)
KJ: did you want to get fitted for a new bra as this one has been discontinued?
Cust: I'll get fitted
KJ: ok, if you pop downstairs they will be able to sort that out for you...
(later)
Cust: I've got the exchange, I'm going to take this one instead (masquerade Rhea)
KJ: (puts the return through and then scans the new one) ok, that leaves £15.50 to pay
Cust: how does that work? I'm exchanging it?
KJ: the one your bringing back cost £19.50 and the one you want to take costs £35 so that makes a difference £15.50
Cust: oh... I see...
Monday, 23 April 2012
Mr spunky pants
So, the guy who came in to try on some frilly pants and handed them back all balled up because he had covered them in love juice... He came back in today.
LITBD just happened to be in the office with VG and realised it was him when the CCTV caught the flash of his huge diamanté earrings. He checked out the whole shop floor to see if and where other customers were about...
When he was sure the people at the till were occupied with other stuff he went to the mannequin at the front of the store (right in front of a CCTV camera) and fondled her right breast. He then reached down and touched the hem of the dress the mannequin was displaying, lifted it up and then started fondling her barbie-esque vagina before stepping back, checking he was still not being watched and then going on to stroke her arse, before leaving.
LITBD just happened to be in the office with VG and realised it was him when the CCTV caught the flash of his huge diamanté earrings. He checked out the whole shop floor to see if and where other customers were about...
When he was sure the people at the till were occupied with other stuff he went to the mannequin at the front of the store (right in front of a CCTV camera) and fondled her right breast. He then reached down and touched the hem of the dress the mannequin was displaying, lifted it up and then started fondling her barbie-esque vagina before stepping back, checking he was still not being watched and then going on to stroke her arse, before leaving.
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Where do you shop?
(cust overheard talking to her friend while looking at boob-room clothing)
Cust: it's all very well and good but nowhere sells clothes for slim people with no boobs...
Cust: it's all very well and good but nowhere sells clothes for slim people with no boobs...
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Wildlife
KM: what was that picture you posted up? A hedgehog?
EM: yeah, he was right by the house... They are so noisy...
JW: but so cute... We have a whole family of them...
EM: he's in our pampas grass, which really needs a cut but I don't want to evict him...
KM: we get a lot of munkjac seers in our garden... On our estate...
EM: I see! We get hedgehogs and you get unicorns!
EM: yeah, he was right by the house... They are so noisy...
JW: but so cute... We have a whole family of them...
EM: he's in our pampas grass, which really needs a cut but I don't want to evict him...
KM: we get a lot of munkjac seers in our garden... On our estate...
EM: I see! We get hedgehogs and you get unicorns!
Not DIY
KJ: hi, how can I help you?
Cust: do you do 40G?
KJ: yes we do
Cust: what ones?
KJ: well you could have a look in the catalogue and it will tell you there or you could go downstairs and ask them to bring them out for you... Or you could pick out the styles you like and I could check for them...
Cust: I can't be bothered to do all that myself... And it would take all day... (she storms out)
Cust: do you do 40G?
KJ: yes we do
Cust: what ones?
KJ: well you could have a look in the catalogue and it will tell you there or you could go downstairs and ask them to bring them out for you... Or you could pick out the styles you like and I could check for them...
Cust: I can't be bothered to do all that myself... And it would take all day... (she storms out)
Friday, 20 April 2012
Bitchin' 'bout shit
The Cleo 'Lucy'
So you saw that it was a balconette and not a full cup but you still decided to buy it and then bitch about it???
The Masquerade 'Rhea'
Internet shopping fails
Some corkers from Asos, Figleaves and Gossard...
And this amazing fuck up, straight from the Freya website...
And this amazing fuck up, straight from the Freya website...
Size?
Cust: What size do your basques go up to?
EM: A 38 G or a H depending on the style
Cust: So you dont do a 42 then?
EM: ...no...
EM: A 38 G or a H depending on the style
Cust: So you dont do a 42 then?
EM: ...no...
Lets start at the very begining...
EM: (on phone) Hello, how can I help?
Cust: I've seen some swimsuits and I was wondering if you stock them?
EM: ok, do you have the code of them?
Cust: it's the San Marino one...
EM: ok... let me have a look... (EM checks for the code) are these ones that you have seen on-line?
Cust: yes, but I have seen it in your store when I have come in...
EM: ok, what size did you want?
Cust: I cant remember what size I am... are they all done by your bra size?
EM: yes...
Cust: I don't know what I was last measured at, can you look it up for me?
EM: sure (EM takes postcode and has a look and then checks the swimsuit again) I think all of theses have been sent back to the warehouse as we have a new catalogue out now... yes, unfortunately we don't have your size here, and it looks like we haven't for a while...
Cust: can you check for this tankini then...?
Cust: I've seen some swimsuits and I was wondering if you stock them?
EM: ok, do you have the code of them?
Cust: it's the San Marino one...
EM: ok... let me have a look... (EM checks for the code) are these ones that you have seen on-line?
Cust: yes, but I have seen it in your store when I have come in...
EM: ok, what size did you want?
Cust: I cant remember what size I am... are they all done by your bra size?
EM: yes...
Cust: I don't know what I was last measured at, can you look it up for me?
EM: sure (EM takes postcode and has a look and then checks the swimsuit again) I think all of theses have been sent back to the warehouse as we have a new catalogue out now... yes, unfortunately we don't have your size here, and it looks like we haven't for a while...
Cust: can you check for this tankini then...?
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Size-ist
Man: (to HS) I'm looking for a basque for my girlfriend, she's really, really short... About the same height as you...
(HS is not short...)
(HS is not short...)
The whole stockroom
EA: (on phone) there is a lady on her way down and she wants to try on all the bikinis in her size...
EM: hello, are you after bikinis?
Cust: yes, it's just the tops as I'm having a lot of trouble finding them
EM: ok, what size are you looking for?
Cust: a 34ff, but I've lost a stone so I don't know if that would make me a 34f?
EM: I have no idea... Would you like a fitting for them?
Cust: no, I had a fitting four weeks ago and I hadn't changed much then... If I need a different size you can get them for me, as your quiet in here...
EM: ok, I'll just go and get them then...
(EM brings out about 15 different ones that she can find in the stockroom. The cust will probably need different sizes in every single one but takes them anyway so the cust will get completely confused)
(later)
Cust: there's some new styles I'd like to try, this green one and there's a purple one as well... (hands back almost all the others) none of these fitted
EM: ok, I'll go and have a look for them...
(EM gets them for cust, later still)
Cust: I think I've been a bit of a plonker, I've looked in my bra and it's a 32, so that's what I need in these (4 styles she likes)
EM: alright, I'll go and get them...
(EM gets them for her. She eventually comes out after making her decision)
Cust: can I have the bottoms for these... The plain ones...
EM: sure... What size?
Cust: a medium
EM: alrighty... (EM goes to the stockroom, the cust calls through the door)
Cust: and the red dress...
EM: (opens the door) and what size?
Cust: 10
EM: and what (top half) size? (gives her the options)
Cust: the smaller one...
EM: ok
(cust has been here for 45 minutes!)
EM: hello, are you after bikinis?
Cust: yes, it's just the tops as I'm having a lot of trouble finding them
EM: ok, what size are you looking for?
Cust: a 34ff, but I've lost a stone so I don't know if that would make me a 34f?
EM: I have no idea... Would you like a fitting for them?
Cust: no, I had a fitting four weeks ago and I hadn't changed much then... If I need a different size you can get them for me, as your quiet in here...
EM: ok, I'll just go and get them then...
(EM brings out about 15 different ones that she can find in the stockroom. The cust will probably need different sizes in every single one but takes them anyway so the cust will get completely confused)
(later)
Cust: there's some new styles I'd like to try, this green one and there's a purple one as well... (hands back almost all the others) none of these fitted
EM: ok, I'll go and have a look for them...
(EM gets them for cust, later still)
Cust: I think I've been a bit of a plonker, I've looked in my bra and it's a 32, so that's what I need in these (4 styles she likes)
EM: alright, I'll go and get them...
(EM gets them for her. She eventually comes out after making her decision)
Cust: can I have the bottoms for these... The plain ones...
EM: sure... What size?
Cust: a medium
EM: alrighty... (EM goes to the stockroom, the cust calls through the door)
Cust: and the red dress...
EM: (opens the door) and what size?
Cust: 10
EM: and what (top half) size? (gives her the options)
Cust: the smaller one...
EM: ok
(cust has been here for 45 minutes!)
Kill-slug
EM: (on phone) ok, that's booked in, we will see you on Sunday, bye... (puts phone down)
EA: I won't... Four day weekend!
JH: slug...
EA: what?
JH: smug slug...
EA: well, fuck you! (waves v's at JH)
JH: with salt...
EA: fuck you with salt!
EA: I won't... Four day weekend!
JH: slug...
EA: what?
JH: smug slug...
EA: well, fuck you! (waves v's at JH)
JH: with salt...
EA: fuck you with salt!
Monday, 16 April 2012
Mental crazy
(After a cust left the store, EM comes back in laughing)
KJ: Whats wrong?
EM: Nothing.. I was just thinking about that crazy lady who smelt of dog...
KJ: What one?
EM: The one in the red coat
KJ: Yes, she was mental! She asked me about the t-shirt bras, saying that she had one of them already but wanted to try on all the others that we had. I started looking them up for her and she asked me 'is that necessary?' And i was like 'yes, so they know what bras you want, i need to write them down so they know what they are looking for.' what i wanted to say was 'no, I just like doing this, but if your happy for them to bring you out a neon green bra that is not remotely t-shirt bra style and in a completely random size I'll stop looking for you.'
HS: Ass-hat...
KJ: And then a lady wanted to buy a £25 gift voucher so I put that through and then carried on checking. 'Sorry for the delay, now lets get back to the protocol and check those bras for you'
KJ: Whats wrong?
EM: Nothing.. I was just thinking about that crazy lady who smelt of dog...
KJ: What one?
EM: The one in the red coat
KJ: Yes, she was mental! She asked me about the t-shirt bras, saying that she had one of them already but wanted to try on all the others that we had. I started looking them up for her and she asked me 'is that necessary?' And i was like 'yes, so they know what bras you want, i need to write them down so they know what they are looking for.' what i wanted to say was 'no, I just like doing this, but if your happy for them to bring you out a neon green bra that is not remotely t-shirt bra style and in a completely random size I'll stop looking for you.'
HS: Ass-hat...
KJ: And then a lady wanted to buy a £25 gift voucher so I put that through and then carried on checking. 'Sorry for the delay, now lets get back to the protocol and check those bras for you'
Holding the fort...
EM: can you just hold the fort while I go on my break?
HS: only if you can tell me how much this is? (holds up a Fantasie moulded bra)
EM: errr...£28? Why?
HS: because the lady who smells of dog wants to know... I'm being such a bitch today...
EM: I like it!
HS: only if you can tell me how much this is? (holds up a Fantasie moulded bra)
EM: errr...£28? Why?
HS: because the lady who smells of dog wants to know... I'm being such a bitch today...
EM: I like it!
Ass Hats
HS: Of all the ladies that have booked in for fittings, I don't want to fit any of them...
EM: Why?
HS: they are all ass-hats or just really dense...
EM: ass-hats... Love it!
(Later)
HS: Did you hear it?!
EM: No...
HS: She had a bra on which was a bit tight, fair enough. And it was a bit gappy in the front but I asked her if she liked the style and she just kept waving her arms backwards and forwards and said 'its a bit tight... and its really gappy in the front' and i was like, 'yeah'...
EM: But do you like the style?
HS: Exactly... the Panache doesn't go up to a 40 does it?
EM: No...
HS: Ohhhh, she wants plain...
(EM picks up the tea-towel style soft cup)
HS: HA! Look at you and your limiting beliefs...
EM: What about the Esme? (smooth seamless bra)
HS: Urrrr...
EM: Look at your limiting beliefs....
HS: Ass-hat...
EM: Why?
HS: they are all ass-hats or just really dense...
EM: ass-hats... Love it!
(Later)
HS: Did you hear it?!
EM: No...
HS: She had a bra on which was a bit tight, fair enough. And it was a bit gappy in the front but I asked her if she liked the style and she just kept waving her arms backwards and forwards and said 'its a bit tight... and its really gappy in the front' and i was like, 'yeah'...
EM: But do you like the style?
HS: Exactly... the Panache doesn't go up to a 40 does it?
EM: No...
HS: Ohhhh, she wants plain...
(EM picks up the tea-towel style soft cup)
HS: HA! Look at you and your limiting beliefs...
EM: What about the Esme? (smooth seamless bra)
HS: Urrrr...
EM: Look at your limiting beliefs....
HS: Ass-hat...
Saturday, 14 April 2012
Looks like
KJ: I've got a lady who wants that fitting, her name is Mairella or Marilla... I don't know... She looks Hispanic... Or Lebanese...
Vague
EM: how can I help?
Cust: I'm looking for 32HH
EM: ok, is there any particular styles you wanted?
Cust: no...
EM: ok... We have about 50
Cust: oh good. You didn't have many last time I was in
EM: we have quite a lot, so, was there and colours you were looking for... Or styles?
Cust: no...
EM: right...
Cust: I'm looking for 32HH
EM: ok, is there any particular styles you wanted?
Cust: no...
EM: ok... We have about 50
Cust: oh good. You didn't have many last time I was in
EM: we have quite a lot, so, was there and colours you were looking for... Or styles?
Cust: no...
EM: right...
Friday, 13 April 2012
Arse about face
EM: hi, how can I help?
Cust: I've got a return of a faulty bra. I did speak to someone about it. The wire has come out. (starts talking to her friend) I don't follow the washing instructions but I've worn it twice and not even washed it...
EM: ok
(EM finds the customers order and processes it all the way to the refund stage)
EM: right then...
Cust: I'd like to get another bra, to be fitted for one if that's ok? Can I just leave that with you...
EM: sure, I can cancel the whole receipt...
(cust comes upstairs after her fitting)
Cust: I've got this one and the tag for the other one as I'm wearing it
Custs friend: are you?!
Cust: yeah! Why wear an old ill fitting one when you have one that fits? Someone here once asked me if I wanted to keep it on and I was like 'yeah! That's a really good idea!'
Custs friend: your so funny! What are you like!?
Cust: I've got a return of a faulty bra. I did speak to someone about it. The wire has come out. (starts talking to her friend) I don't follow the washing instructions but I've worn it twice and not even washed it...
EM: ok
(EM finds the customers order and processes it all the way to the refund stage)
EM: right then...
Cust: I'd like to get another bra, to be fitted for one if that's ok? Can I just leave that with you...
EM: sure, I can cancel the whole receipt...
(cust comes upstairs after her fitting)
Cust: I've got this one and the tag for the other one as I'm wearing it
Custs friend: are you?!
Cust: yeah! Why wear an old ill fitting one when you have one that fits? Someone here once asked me if I wanted to keep it on and I was like 'yeah! That's a really good idea!'
Custs friend: your so funny! What are you like!?
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Wtf
(not strictly customer orientated but perfectly shows the level of fucktardedness we have to put up with)
EM has just walked past some slow pedestrians and is waiting to cross the road at the traffic lights. The button has been pressed and is clearly visible to others that it has been by the fuck off massive 'wait' in bright orange, lit up letters. Slow fuckers catch up and then press the button again and then walk off...
EM has just walked past some slow pedestrians and is waiting to cross the road at the traffic lights. The button has been pressed and is clearly visible to others that it has been by the fuck off massive 'wait' in bright orange, lit up letters. Slow fuckers catch up and then press the button again and then walk off...
Primark
JJ: there were too many kids in primark at the weekend, I found it quite intimidating...
EM: you should try the one on Oxford Street! The best one I've found is in Ealing...
JJ: that's so long on the tube though... And to be honest I find Ealing a bit of a culture shock...
EM: hmmm...
JJ: well, I'm used to Bond St and Harrods. That's where I shop and occasionally Chelsea... When MO and I went to Ealing there was vomit and drunks all over the street and I just thought 'urgh!' I'm just not used to it...
EM: you should try the one on Oxford Street! The best one I've found is in Ealing...
JJ: that's so long on the tube though... And to be honest I find Ealing a bit of a culture shock...
EM: hmmm...
JJ: well, I'm used to Bond St and Harrods. That's where I shop and occasionally Chelsea... When MO and I went to Ealing there was vomit and drunks all over the street and I just thought 'urgh!' I'm just not used to it...
Tan
EM: I saw your photos from Newmarket. I like how you colour coordinated your tan with that dudes hair...
HP: I'd been in holiday! He is the most ginger person I've ever seen though... I'm not too bad today...
EM: your quite toned down...
HP: I'm going out tonight so I'll have to tone up... Plus I'm going to Warning so I have to stand out from all the crackheads...
HP: I'd been in holiday! He is the most ginger person I've ever seen though... I'm not too bad today...
EM: your quite toned down...
HP: I'm going out tonight so I'll have to tone up... Plus I'm going to Warning so I have to stand out from all the crackheads...
Arse
(conversation after confronting HP with a pair of skirted bikini bottoms)
HP: what are they?
EM: bikini bottoms...
HP: they looked alright on the model on the Internet
EM: (shows HP the back, as seen in the photo above) how could these be flattering if you had a big arse? It would just be all... arse...
HP: like you were stuck in a rubber ring...
HP: what are they?
EM: bikini bottoms...
HP: they looked alright on the model on the Internet
EM: (shows HP the back, as seen in the photo above) how could these be flattering if you had a big arse? It would just be all... arse...
HP: like you were stuck in a rubber ring...
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Well... I don't know
(cust has a bra on in a 32GG, it's clearly too small)
Cust: do you think if I tried a different size it would be any better?
EM: yes...
Cust: do you think if I tried a different size it would be any better?
EM: yes...
Plugging your company?
Cust complains that the place is 'run down and filthy' and that it was 'thick with dust'. She then goes in to say that she owns a cleaning company and she knows what it should be like and that we should tell who ever we have to do it that they need to do a better job...
This photo was taken after she started bitching... Let's play spot the thick dust...
She then realised that maybe we actually have to do it ourselves and suggested that we either start half an hour earlier or stay half an hour later to do it as 'that is all it would take!'
She also insisted that the place hadn't been cleaned for months and that she was dismayed to find that the floor had bits of cotton on it
She came in at 4pm!
This photo was taken after she started bitching... Let's play spot the thick dust...
She then realised that maybe we actually have to do it ourselves and suggested that we either start half an hour earlier or stay half an hour later to do it as 'that is all it would take!'
She also insisted that the place hadn't been cleaned for months and that she was dismayed to find that the floor had bits of cotton on it
She came in at 4pm!
Child cruelty
Cust: (rather large lady) I've lost a bit of weight so it's time to get re-fitted
JJ: ok...
Custs daughter: (about 10 and looks like a barrel) and I've lost loads of weight haven't I mum!
JJ: ok...
Custs daughter: (about 10 and looks like a barrel) and I've lost loads of weight haven't I mum!
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Under pressure
EM: you've got a fitting
KM: ok (has three bras to hang up)
EM: she's due now
KM: ok...
(EM stands in the doorway staring at KM)
KM: oh god! (shakes the last bra to put away and looks at the tag) this isn't even a 28, it's a 38! What the hell! (chucks it into the 36 crate)
EM: and you've just put it into the 36's... What the hell!
KM: oh god...
KM: ok (has three bras to hang up)
EM: she's due now
KM: ok...
(EM stands in the doorway staring at KM)
KM: oh god! (shakes the last bra to put away and looks at the tag) this isn't even a 28, it's a 38! What the hell! (chucks it into the 36 crate)
EM: and you've just put it into the 36's... What the hell!
KM: oh god...
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Technically stealing?
Cust came in ten days ago and tried to pay for £82 worth of stuff with her bank card. Her card kept getting declined. Blaming our chip and pin machine for it she let her partner pay for the items in cash. She then left and 'phoned' her bank only to come back in and tell us that her bank has had the money taken out so she has now paid for the items twice.
We checked our authorisation program and it was showing her transaction as pending. To make her feel stupid she was shown the print out which listed all transactions apart from hers as fine, so it couldn't be our machine at fault.
Telling her that she could have the cash back and we would contact her if the payment failed, she then asked why it wouldn't go through. After explaining that the money was being blocked by something she then didn't know what would happen to her money if it was declined. EM told her that it would bounce back into her account. she essentially went away with £82 of stock she hadn't paid for.
As the transaction did eventually fail she was contacted and she told us that her money situation had changed and she was having her account 'drained' by the jobcenter (only thing we could think of is that she had been working and still claiming jobseekers allowance and they found out and want it back).
She asked if she could pay half at the end of this month (April) and half at the end of the next month (May).
On being told no, as she had already screwed up our finances enough already, we would have to debit the full amount at the end of this month. She said she gets paid on the 28th, which, strangely, turns out to be a Saturday.
Upon telling our finance assistant what the eventual out come was for all of this she said 'I bet that account is closed by the time you go to debit her account'
That's why we're planning to take it out on the Friday before and if she realises 'if' her account is still open, just tell her that it must have been something to do with the weekend...
We checked our authorisation program and it was showing her transaction as pending. To make her feel stupid she was shown the print out which listed all transactions apart from hers as fine, so it couldn't be our machine at fault.
Telling her that she could have the cash back and we would contact her if the payment failed, she then asked why it wouldn't go through. After explaining that the money was being blocked by something she then didn't know what would happen to her money if it was declined. EM told her that it would bounce back into her account. she essentially went away with £82 of stock she hadn't paid for.
As the transaction did eventually fail she was contacted and she told us that her money situation had changed and she was having her account 'drained' by the jobcenter (only thing we could think of is that she had been working and still claiming jobseekers allowance and they found out and want it back).
She asked if she could pay half at the end of this month (April) and half at the end of the next month (May).
On being told no, as she had already screwed up our finances enough already, we would have to debit the full amount at the end of this month. She said she gets paid on the 28th, which, strangely, turns out to be a Saturday.
Upon telling our finance assistant what the eventual out come was for all of this she said 'I bet that account is closed by the time you go to debit her account'
That's why we're planning to take it out on the Friday before and if she realises 'if' her account is still open, just tell her that it must have been something to do with the weekend...
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Great description
(cust is in a fitting with HS)
Cust: I want a strapless, a bra, a bikini and there is a dress upstairs...
HS: what dress was it?
Cust: the blue balanced one...
HS: (pause) the blue jersey one?
Cust: yes
HS: ok, cool...
Cust: I want a strapless, a bra, a bikini and there is a dress upstairs...
HS: what dress was it?
Cust: the blue balanced one...
HS: (pause) the blue jersey one?
Cust: yes
HS: ok, cool...
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