Hyperactivity!

KA: hi! I've come to cover you.... With love...
Moi: you've come to smother me

JH: (pretending to be someone else) I'm a fitter, please ask the person who is dealing with the 15 other people...

KA: I want to cover you in love and pellets and hugs...
Moi: you want to cover me in pellets!
KA: love pellets!
Moi: you want to shoot me!

VG: I'll do it, but what are you going to bribe me with...
Moi: this creme egg...
VG: that's mine anyway!

KA: I've got a licence to kill...




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Let's eat!

Going back to the eating babies converstation that went on outside costa on Monday morning....





That's right, there will be blood.... when I eat them....
Nom nom nom....


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Summer line! Avaliable now!

Get the topless sunbathing look while still hiding your flab!


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When halloween comes around...

I vote we should get this in stock, suitable for all ages (apparently...?)


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Zombie escape plan.. 1.0

Ok so here's the deal. If zombies ever do strike when myself EA and AS are sat outside costa then this is our plan of action to save ourselves...

1- head to the police station, send AS in to get us some guns....
2- hijack a bus.
3- if AS fails us on the gun front or there was not enough guns then we go to waterbeach barraks and get us some shootaz...
4- EA drives us to collect EC.
5- we drive back to Newmarket road tescos to pick up supplies

(now the plan can go in any one of three directions from here...)

6a- we get stuck in tescos, but that's ok as we have loads of food, loads of entertainment, loads of guns and a 24-7 pub.

6b- we can't get on the bus again so we find two river boats on the cam. Tie them together and EA, EC and I can live on one AS can live on the other with the cows we have herded up from midsummer common. When she's not looking we will pick one off to eat and just tell her it wandered off, we will keep traveling until we find somewhere pretty and hide out in the countryside.

6c- we get back on the bus drive to a port and hijack a ferry and live in the middle of the channel until it all dies down.

There were some issues to the plan like if we were on water EA is not compatible with fishy things, although with that, she said she would be eating fish then throwing it up. Not a bad way to lose weight though, she agreed calling it the 'apocolypse diet'. Also if we run into any sticky situations then we are using AS as zombie fodder due to her wanting to cuddle the animals that we may need to eat...

Apart from that! It can't fail!
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Sunny Monday!

AS: i need to get more iron, i need to eat more red meat
Moi: lambs nice
AS: NOO! how can you say that lambs are too cute to eat!
EA: I love steak...
Moi: calf is really nice...
AS: that's horrible! Why do you like eating babies!
Moi: it's what their there for!
AS: I just want to cuddle them, I hate you, your my nemisis!


AS: any need for the sunglasses?
Moi: why am I embarressing you?
AS: no....
Moi: I need them to shield my eyes from the glare from my legs....

EA: look at this...
(shows AS and myself the PA04 she is wearing and how big it comes up on her tiny boob)
Moi: it really lifts you up though and you look smaller....
EA: I've got huge boobs and I want to show them off...
(returns wearing a PNB2)
EA: see that's so much better...
Moi: yeah but the're jelly bean boobs now...
AS: jelly bean?
Moi: yeah sort of oval, jelly bean shape...
EA: just cos you like yours to be mega pointy! (sticks her index fingers out from her own boobs) wooooh!
Moi: yeah all right, so I like mine to have their own post code....

AS: were you really a topless dancer!
JJ: no I used to be a dancer in Ibiza and I have gone topless....
Moi: with those H's?
JJ: oi you! I AM NOT A H CUP!

JJ: so did you forget the clock change?
Moi: no I didn't...
JJ: someone must of!
Moi: someone did...
JJ: go one who was it?!
(restrained laughter from JH)
Moi: MR!
JJ: get away! I thought it would have been you!
(thanks! What are you trying to imply!?!)
Moi: yeah, she came up and asked what time it was as her watch must have stopped, she thought it was quater to eleven when it was quater to twelve...
JJ: oh my god! She must have been fuming!
Moi: she was aplogizing all day!
JH: you know though if it would have been anyone else she would have been like (puts on a really posh voice) 'it's disgusting being late how could they forget?'

AS: (laughs behind my back)
Moi: what!
AS: it's just your hair sticking up in a bizzare way
EA: pineapple head!
AS: yeah! That's it! (more laughing)
Moi: I prefere to think of it as startled cockatoo...

AS: what's the time?
Moi: four minutes past....
AS: ok.... (lesurely hoovering commences)

(bit later....)
Moi: you do realise it's nearly quater past?
AS: what! A minute ago it was just gone six! (frantic hoovering commences...) owwwww my basketball arm!

Moi: I need a fitter!
(I study the options I have; JJ and JH laughing so much they are crying/threatening to leave puddles on the carpet or AS who is scurrying round trying to get all the picklist)
Moi: AS could you do it...?
AS: yeah, we'll leave them to wet themselves...

Moi: I feel like pochahauntas today...
AS: yeah! Just a white haired version...
Moi: alpine pochahauntas.....

AS: mmmuuuhhhhh...
(shoves hands in waistband of trousers)
Moi: get your hands out of your pants!
AS: there not in my pants! Oh my arm hurts too.... It's a world of pain today...

AS: I didn't know that if I came off the pill I would come on early... Two weeks early...
Moi: your kidding right?!
AS: no, I've never taken the pill before, I thought it would clear my spots up!
Moi: you didn't realise that's why there is a three week supply...
AS: nooooo..... *unhappy face*

AS: HAHAHAHA!
Moi: what?
AS: I can't say it's horrible
Moi: tell me
AS: no I can't (more laughing)
Moi: just tell me...
AS: you reminded me of big bird from the back
Moi: big bird!?
AS: yeah it's just your hair...
Moi: ohhh I miss big bird...!
AS: he freaked me out
Moi: well at least I didn't remind you of a big bird!

Sunny Saturday!

MR: well these look like a traffic accident!
(whilst looking at the 30's)

AS: you said KA was funnier than me
KA: (without AS hearing) well that's a given...
AS: slag!
Moi: and who was that aimed at?
AS: you!
Moi: not at KA then for saying it's a given that she's funnier than you?
AS: your both slags!

Moi: I'm loosing the will to live here!

MR: surely that's my pennance paid now, I thought you wanted to get through them all and wondered why you were doing it by the book, I can see why now if all three of them had gone in we wouldn't have all fitted in the room!
Moi: I did cringe a bit when I saw them...
MR: did you see the groom? He's Scottish and is going to wear a kilt!
Moi: he's not wearing one now is he?
MR: no, could you imagine him sat on the sofa with it all hanging out...I asked him if he was the lucky man and he said i'm not sure about that!
Moi: was he big?
MR: he was huge, the other three looked like him in drag....
Moi: I can imagine the wedding photos!

KA: I've just had this woman have a go at me cos the waits twenty minutes, so in the end I just said ok, thank you!
Moi: what you were thinking was fuck you!
KA: cunt you!
AS: eeewwww....!


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Mean!

AS: ohh have you seen the 32's there as big as you!
(you have got to be kidding me look thrown her way)
AS: oh god! (horrified face) I didn't mean wide I meant tall!

JH: alright fuckers?


AS: pnf7 lady only wants you...
Moi: ohhh! Why!? I saw her in costa and my blood ran cold!

JJ: one day my cardigan was a 14 then it was a 16, I'm not happy.
(JH and I exchange sniggers over JJ's shoulder)
Later on....
Moi: was it you who swapped JJ's cardigan?
JH: no. How could you think such a thing! (laughing)


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Tard Thursday...

Lady: I don't need black, I'm going to be a bridesmaid so I need wedding lingerie....

Cust: I need a 34D...
AS: well, that one does come up small in the cup...
Cust: I think I know my size!
(whilst busting out all over the place)

(on the radio)
Moi: can you look for a bra?
AS: sure what one?
Moi: it's the Shiraz... (desperately trying to think of a nice word for vomit) the coral one on the front...
AS: what?
MR: I heard Shiraz... I've appeared at the mention of Shiraz!
Moi: (still with the talk button open on the radio and laughing hysterically) in a 36ff!

MR collecting the rubbish
MR: bring out your dead....

JJ: I'm on the skank for some pretty things...
Moi: I've got some pretty things here...
JJ: they're not pretty enough, I like the word skank, it's the word of the day...
JJ: (not finding what she wanted, flicks the crate a V) skank!
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Smile!

Phone call earlier from a rather strange lady who was so set on what she was saying that she couldn't/wouldn't understand what I was saying.

Lady: I wonder if you could help me i'm looking for a vanity fair bra
Moi: we have got some, what one were you looking for
Lady: it's one I wear all the time.
Moi: do you know the code...
Lady: (interupting) 535
Moi: that's the suplier code, is it one you have seen from the website?
Lady: that's the code on the lable...
Moi: yes that's the suplier one, we use a different one so I will have to check the lables (puts on hold)

EA is at the bottom of the stairs as I go by so I make the universal sign for 'wanker' next to my head followed by the universal sign for 'phone'

EA: you've got a head fuck on the phone then?

(take lady off hold)
Moi: the one we have is L760
Lady: that's not a bit like 535
Moi: no, it's one that has buttons down the middle and comes in black and white...
Lady: why does it say you stock vanity fair then, your the second store I've phoned that doesn't have it.
Moi: we do stock vanity fair just not that particular one and all of the stores have the same stock.
Lady: well I should give you all a miss then?
Moi: yeah, sorry though.

A quick google later showed that neither vanity fair with or without the code 535 brought us up as a place that stocks that bra!
Where did she find this info!? Surely if she looked at the website to see we do vanity fair she would have seen the ones we do! Idiot!

MR's cust on the phone who asked her to look for some sets so she could try them on tomorrow as she was going up to Leeds Friday afternoon. MR took custs phone number and said she would phone back in five minutes to let her know what we had. MR phones back, mum of cust answers saying that daughter (cust who first phones) had gone out. She couldn't understand that we don't have all of the items and that can't make the items we have magically appear in the stock room at Leeds, over night when we were phoned at about half five in the first place!

MR: who left the mugs in the sink after I washed up? We can't live like sluts here...
(JJ walks in with a bikini top on) JJ: oooh I can (jiggles boobs up and down)

Moi: Are we doing anything with the naked lady in the window?
EA: ohhh is she naked?
Moi: yep, and her arms on the floor!






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Happy birthday AS!

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Seasame street.

Today's letter is A

And the word is aaaarrrrgggghhhh!


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Tales from the vault...

Here is one that slipped my memory!

AS had not been here long and didn't really know anyone. As far as she was concerned she had ended up in a work related prison. Anywho... To cut a long story short EA was working down stairs and myself and AS on the till (AS was being trained if my memory serves me...) there were custs milling around both upstairs and down and I hear a very loud 'OI!'

Moi 'WHAT!'
AS *frightened face*
EA (coming up the stairs) 'can I help you?!'
Moi 'You yelled!'
EA 'No I didn't?'
AS 'I think it was the tramps outside...'
Moi 'ohhhhhh' *laughing hystericaly*


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Today we have mostly been watching...

Snatch wars!


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What's in a name?

Moi 'is that rachel?'
AS *shrugs shoulders*

(to cust)
AS 'rachel?'
Cust 'no it's helen'
AS 'oh right sorry, if you want to go downstairs'

(downstairs)
Moi 'rachel?'
Cust 'noooo', it's helen!'
Moi 'sorry Helen! Do you want to come through?'

(later, upstairs)
Moi 'she wasn't called rachel, she was called Helen...'
AS 'i know! I called her rachel! She's probably is thinking "why are all these people calling me rachel!'


(even later after that)
Upstairs...
Moi 'helen!'
AS *crazy 'what are you doing?!' eyes*
moi 'vera!'

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Sky rats of Sussex street!

It's about time they got on here!


This is snowball, he's a bit bipolar as can be a bully one day and an absolute girl the next.



This is butch and snowball, they tend to have the horn for one another when the wind is blowing in the right direction.



This is neg at the top and shit stain at the bottom. Shit stain had a bro called skid mark (he was lighter brown) but he was last seen on Saturday wounded in action.


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Words of the day...

Argue, according to the dice...

Scobbled! According to AS! A beautiful fusion of scoffed and gobbled!


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EC's last day :-(

Woman with two movable hooks for hands trying to open a prada paper bag... EC and I found this freaky and frightening, AS however said that we were bad ellas...

AS 'Babies freak me out, alien things busting out, and your skin streches over it' *shudders*
Moi 'and'
AS 'You've had one so you don't care...'
Moi 'Cats, dogs, horses, pigs...?'
AS (interrupting) 'What! You've had them all!'
Moi 'Portable farmyard me...'





The above is just for AS... Nightmares!

EC tied me to the rails and KA started thrust dancing infront of me to 'rude boy'

EC running in from swimwear to push me over while I skipped a song on the iPod
AS wishing she had done it

Moi pushing AS over, so one nil to me!

KA knocking over EC's glass of wine...

The rose petals in the bin... Moi scooping them out of the bin and putting them in a vase, complete with tissue with mini-me pus on it. Later on saying we should have left it in the vase and a year later a whole Ella Eco-system would have developed, with tiny-me's crawling out of the vase!

I think the glasses speak for themselves... And the napkins! Bad KA!




























































EC we love and miss you very, very much! xxx
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Propper gangsta innit!

I love going to meetings in parts of the country that were better never discovered and as its to do with work I shall entertain you with these little annicdotes

Went to get some cash out and had to walk past a hoddie to get to the next cashpoint.
I couldn't help myself but I looked at his screen as I went past and it said insufficient funds.
PANIC PANIC!
there I was with my juicy bag getting cash out next to a hoodlum who very obviously was broke, and he loitered around!
Arrrrrgggggghhhhhh!
So I threw my open wallet straight into my bag, got my money shoved that in a pocket i could get my hand in (which i couldnt then get out) and walked very fast. Now in restaraunt and sorting out all the shit from said open wallet that fell into all the other shit that lives in my suitcase/bag.

As I was crossing the road further up I was in the process of jay walking and getting run over when someone rather cleverly said 'careful, there's a car coming'.
Why thank you noble and very observant man. I had not seen that large hunk of metal coming straight for me and the real reason I ran into the middle of your group was your animal magnatisim...

There was a nice middle aged lady with them and she started talking, I was completely bamboozled! She was asking me where regent street was but I was so transfixed with the fact she was Scottish I just stared at her, she just said 'you have no idea' before I managed to gather myself together and told her where it was, so I just said 'i don't sorry, and looked like a complete tit walking off on my own and very clearly looking like I knew where I was going... Booo!


Having last smoke before dinner and a man in a suit stands next to me... Unsure what to do with fag as he may have been waiting to fine me for dropping it and not 'taking pride in royal leamington spa'. Smoked it to the filter (ewe!) until decided my fate, dropped it and ran like a big girl into the reastaraunt been waiting to fine me for dropping it and not 'taking pride in royal leamington spa'. Smoked it to the filter (ewe!) until decided my fate, dropped it and ran like a big girl into the reastaraunt!

Hot flannels always make me laugh! You only ever find them in Indian reastaraunts and on airplanes. Why?
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And why are you only doing half a day?

'Because I'm going to lemmers tomorrow, and I need to catch a train.'

'Oh... What times your train?'

'15:00, that's 3 isn't it?'

*laugh* 'yes...!'

MR holding a cl10 up, 'the yellow one of these looked great on a coffee coloured woman yesterday'

This makes me laugh and reminds me of a day in the 'abattoir' about a month ago, I should have blogged about it before now but it keeps slipping through the giant holes in the sieve that my brain sits in (I do keep scooping my thoughts back in there but they keep escaping!)

To set the scene....

EC and I are minding our own buisness sorting through and putting away the 30's, EC was stood up infront of the f/ff section and I was crouched over the box trying to untangle them all. At the time I had a cold and was coughing, A LOT, over everything and everyone that was in splattering distance. Soooo EC and I were listening to music when KA walks in....

KA 'oi, coughy face'
Moi *horrified look directed to EC and then KA*
EC (calmly) 'i don't think we know each other well enough for you to call me that'
Moi (trying to hide in the box)
KA 'i meant her' *points finger at me* 'although you are more of a fudge, latte posibily?'
EC 'well people have said I was latte in the past'

Spent far too long pissing about at work today, spent ages talking to EC on her lunch (I want chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...) before realising it was 2:25
Moi 'shit it's half two! My trains at 3!'
EC 'you better get the bus...'
Moi 'i don't know if I've got enough money for the bus!'
EC *evil your-going-to-miss-it grin*

I needent have worried as I know from experience that actually possesing the ability to walk faster than someone who has; broken legs/is a coffin dodger/is a student, I can get to the station in plenty of time. So just to clarify, I got there with 15 minutes to spare! HAHA DOUBTERS!

Just passed through a estate near a station we were stopping at and thought how pretty it looked, very New England. Then they announced that the next station was March... It was a nice thought while it lasted...

Lovely girls in front of me putting on her make up. Wiping her brush on the seat in front to get rid of any previous make up. I think she picked up more shit than she wiped off! They also ate like the had their noses in troughs as there was biscuit residue everywhere....

I fell asleep on the train... Twice. Once woken up by the drinks man standing on my foot and the other time when the tannoy said we were in Birmingham. Both times I woke up with my mouth open although no dribble... Thank god I slept on my back!


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Cold!

I can understand the issues felt by EC and AS... Sort of.
They must have believed they were living on the equator in Brighton, moving anywhere north of that would have been a shock to the system. I felt the same thing coming from cambs to Birmingham. Although I didn't whine about it being 'sooo bloody cold!' I just did my jacket up! The gritters being out in force did startle me a little bit... There very prepared up here!


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Monday Monday...

Some strange conversations...

JH 'ohhhh you know you were talking about those malteaser rabbits'
Moi 'yeah have you had one?'
JH 'yeah they are fucking lovely'
*makes a drooly eye roll face*
moi 'oh... Cum face'
JH cackles 'i picked one up and was really looking forward to it, bit into it and it was a kit-kat one'
Moi 'what was it like?'
JH 'like a kit-kat!'

I'm obviously very on the ball today...

Moi 'she's saying the wires are diging in'
JH 'is she a bit of a fatty?'
Moi 'no, I'm just going to try these'
JH 'well if they don't work we'll just kill her'

That's one way to do it!

AS 'argh! I'm so cross! I'm going to hit her!'
Moi 'your going to hiss at her?'
AS 'yes, HIT and hiss at her'
*makes punching motion towards me*
Moi 'why are you being so abusive to me today?!'

(on showing EC a photo of robbie Williams in a primark romper suit)
EC 'he looks like a giant baby.... Its only eight pounds?!?'
Moi 'better than a slanket'
EC 'ooohhhhww, I know what to get AS for her birthday now!'

Moi (to a cust) 'i will just go and get MR for you'
AS (whispering) 'mazzer...'

AS 'I cried for days and my eyes looked like golf balls!'
(now have this strange image in my head of someone with actual golf balls for eyes, not the image AS wanted to portray (she meant size) but it's the first thing that I thought of and I can't get rid of it!)

AS (to VG) 'i think she was trying to kill you'
(VG had just come up the stairs as a pair of plastic boobs came flying in her direction after I tried not to drop them and ended up vollying them across the floor...)

JH 'ohh, your being really nice to people today, we better beat that out of you'

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Night on the tiles part two...

'this doesn't taste very strong...'
'maybe it's to do with all the alcohol you've consumed...?'

'will you give it up! There's nothing dribbling out! All that's left is your brain!'
(about me spending 5 mins blowing my nose)

'this tastes much better than the shit we were drinking'
Comparing wkd blue to spirits and coke.

'to 5 cocks'
'to getting a shag this year'
'to getting the award for not being dead'
'for tescos extra!'
'the crazy taxi driver who couldn't drive!'

Celebrating with shots, cheers!


*looking at the floor*
'this is ALL your fault!'

'i'm very drunk... I don't know why that's funny, I feel like one side of my face has drooped'
'have you had a stroke?'
'yes! Maybe!'

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Night on the tiles...

Missed the bus...

Ice cream eating
'if you eat that in big scoops you could eat the whole tub'
'i'm trying... (pause)... Argh! It's fooking cold!'

I have popped my subway cherry! Although I did need someone else to order for me as I was completely unaware of what to do...


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Wrestling with a midget...

MR had an unusual situation today...

After getting a tankini on a very short lady, said lady wanted to take it off. She managed to get the bra bit twisted and stuck at several points, in her own words she had to 'haul her out of it' smacking the lady in the face with the bra bit in the process.

Amazing!


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Saturday!

Lots of strange things happened today...

MR had a lady who looked like a sumo wrestler in a swim suit.

AS has dragonitus. I'm sure it's a terminal condition and is spreading rapidly now.

Conversation with LH
'new coat?'
'noooo'
'oh I'm just so used to seeing you on your pimp coat'
'well it's been raining and I don't want to ruin it'
'i guess, all the other pimps would laugh at you if you ruined your pimp coat'

As 'what are you doing?!? Your like some crazy flasher, just with clothes on!'
*flashes open cardi*
LOOK AT MY TOP!






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You have a call on line one...

Man riding his bike down s street.
Phone rings.
Starwars theme tune...


Does he answer it in some geeky 'moss' from it crowd way?

No

He answers it....

YO!


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Late.com

Unsure about my reasoning to push people out of my way so I could get the bus that was outside the station THAT VERY SECOND!

If were being honest, it takes 5 minutes by bus, 15 if you walk... It would have been a tight squeeze though, with me starting work at 9:15...


and it being 8:10 when I leapt on the bus...


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Unfortunate!

Funniest thing this week by far, although great things im sure are going to happen on Saturday!

MR walking into the toilet and locking the door behind her, she hears water and thinks that one of us has left the tap running, she starts up the stairs and discovers EA brushing her teeth in there.

  We were all wetting ourselves over this, them pair locked in a small room together. Although we have come to the conclusion that EA was in fact on the throne and forgot to lock the door, MR walked in locked the door and saw EA, they then both decided to make up a story about EA brushing her teeth to cover up the embaressment.

(thats probably more like it...)

Random comments

'What are you doing?!? checking to see if you'll fall out when you give Mr H head?!?'
JH whilst in a bikini bobbing up and down like one of those drinking bird toys.

'Have you been delt with?'
Moi to a customer who was just sat down minding her own buisness after I just threw open the door to the waiting area.

'Ohhh, my bad'
EA refering to her error of taking away someones bra (which this lady had come in wearing!) and failing to replace it with anything else.

'I'll pay you a pound worth of 20p's if you talk to that lady and i'll talk to the other one, tag team them'

'Shes so stupid it makes my brain hurt talking to her!'
EA with a lady whos ill fitting purchase from 6 months ago just needed to be pulled up.

'Oh my god, have you seen the lady with the hair, the 70's throwback?!?'
And with scary eyes!

'...and shes got like a thousand chins...'

'you don't have many knickers do you? Just this rail?'
No those things with holes that your legs go through hanging up all over the place are figmants of your imagination...

'what size are those? Wow, They must be really heavy!'
Man looking at plastic boobs

'gaffer tape it is then'
Backless dress issue...

Crazy!

Walked from the booth to the back room in front of the stairs today. Nothing strange there you may think.

As I quickly had a look upstairs as I walked past I was transfixed by this vision of scruff that was walking down them and was stairing at her for quite some time...

'So you were staring at someone!' I hear you cry, 'Whats wrong with that?'

Alas also at that time I was also rubbing my tongue on the dry patch I had on my top lip. So I may have looked like some sort of crazy escaped window licker just casually roaming around the store.

I shall leave you with that lovely image!

I'm grumpy?

JH commented to our leader that, recently, Leaders mood had improved. Leader then said 'have you noticed that NM has been grumpy lately?' JH just replied 'yes.'

When informed of this today and JH was given the 'reaalllllly?' face by moi, all she replied with was....

'Yeah but when your grumpy at least we can still take the piss out of you.'

Awesom.

Hisssssssss...!

Special lady that's a friend of a friend shall we say for EC and AS, 'hisses like a dragon' at random people in the street. EC and AS have decided that dragon hissing is too cool for school and incorporated it into their everyday lives. AS's mum thinks they both have a problem and AS is not too receptive to other people (moi) hissing like a dragon at other people and them blaming her. IF ITS CUTE WHEN THE CRAZY LADY DOES IT WHY IS IT JUST EMBARASSING WHEN I DO IT!?!


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Hair

AS 'if your going to get your hair cut don't get it cut in Ely.'

NM 'excuse me'

AS 'get it done somewhere good, I don't mean they're rubbish in Ely, there might be some good ones but, you know, get it done in Brighton or Cambridge'

*gives me the 'painfully bad idea face*

Now what were you saying about your hair and what was it that you called the person who cut it????


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The text I never got...

'might be a bit late. Stuck on the old people bus. E.'

True story...

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Ooohh creepy!

So that's how you do it!

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I've only got 10 minutes!

But really what you mean is I'm going to try stuff on for TWO HOURS!


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Hungry!

EA has the munchies. She loves sandwich, she loves chocolate, she loves brownie...


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Guess the person!

Just to avoid any potential back lash from this, this person may or may not like the food stuff discribed and I am well aware that every person from the named country is not like this!

'ok she wants to try a bit of everything'

AS *sad face*

'she's american'

AS 'oh' *more sad face*

'and she likes burger king... A lot'

AS 'why do you do this to me!?!'

Because I love you...


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Let's play taboo!

Ok guess what's being described by JH...

'You know that thingy that comes in that colour?'

'No'

'Oh you rotter! You know that thingy something or other!?'

'What game are we playing?'

I still don't know what she was going on about...


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Backless/strapless!

Exciting! Up to a HH! A coconut to the first person to try these bad boys out! *eek*


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A very lonely Rev. Green

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Retro and innovative

Check out the old school hanging! Also note the fantastic new handbag EA has got!



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Needs no introduction...

Sexy...



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We should sell these!

Padded pants so everyone can have a latino arse... I had something like this a few months ago. It was called the Freya 'deco' in nude and unfotunately for me it was hanging on my back pocket underneath a long cardigan.
I will have to find the photo!




'i like big butts and I cannot lie...'


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Just had to point this out...

She's had a tit job right? Sue the surgeon?!? What is going on there!!!


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Pigeons!

Snowball and butch are lovers!

Awwwwwwww!


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Can you repeat that?

Mrs swallow. Almost as funny as mrs goodship which was not heard correctly by EA while on the till and had to ask the poor confused lady to spell her name while JH and I were cackling in the corner.


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Working wardrobe...

EA and I have the same dress and are having to work out a schedule for when to wear it. Which is fine by me as I have bagged Wednesday and Saturday. I also have a t-shirt which is causing me more wardrobe pain than should be phisicaly possible. I've just spent over an hour trying to find a pair of dark denim jeans that I like, fit my arse and are long enough. Plus the fact my boots have died. I want to cry.


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Your so vain...

Just seen a lad use the apple logo on the back of his iPhone as a mirror so he could check his hair. Not in the slightest way work related but so funny I had to share!


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Pigeons!

Snowball has been spotted out and about, fat bob not been seen for days. Skid mark and shit stain have all but vanished. Neg and Ginger are around. Roll on summer when we get some more skyrats to name!


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Let's be happy!

Hugging is the new way to go! With AS and EC having a hug competition and VG deciding that a group hug is the next top thing to do were all going to turn into hug whores!


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Sick!

Ok, I've got a stinking cold which I got from work. Luckily I've had a day off to recoup. It just makes me wonder if someone had gone home instead of snotting all over the 34's I wouldn't be in this situation!

So far the infected count stands at 2.

It's like 28 days later!

How many zombie workers can I create by the end of the week?!


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Continuing on the fairy story theme...

What is it with the little piles of flour around Cambridge? It's like hansel and gretel!


Crossed with the blair witch project!


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Fucking trees!

Just watched a bloke trying to wheel his bike down 'S street' and take out one tree with his bike.

You would have thought he would have learnt from this.... But no! He took out one of ours as well. Stop looking in the window and look where your going!


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Too polite

We know what was really ment by this!


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Alice in wonderland

Every where you look there is cherries!

And we have our own crazy grotto in the basement which KA found today.

She also learnt that when someone asks you for till roll you don't just take one....


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It's oh so quiet...

It a sunny day, I've got a 20 minute fag break, someone is busking playing kings of leon followed by the beatles. It's all good.

EA and I have done the 'fuck you' 'no... fuck you' routine and then honked at each other like some deranged geese.




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We need to talk...

Unscheduled chats are terrifying!

Although the conversations going on are lightening the mood...

'i don't need you. (pause) but I want you'

'did you pebble dash in there?'
'no I didn't!'
'i bet you skidded didn't you'
'i don't skid, I just went for a wee-wee'

Armpit sniffing and bottom smacking have been quite profound as well today.

Happy march/first day of spring!


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These people are fucked!

What is it with the people today KA mused...

"These people are either not at work because they are too old or not at work because they are fucked in the head and have been signed off"

Doctor A can see you now...


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