Bikini

This started at about 3pm...

Cust: I like this bikini do you have the bottoms?
EM: is that a sale one?
Cust: I think so...
EM: then everything we have should be upstairs
Cust: could you check on the computer?
EM: (checks) well we should have some
Cust: I looked everywhere and I couldn't see any, maybe they have them behind the till?
EM: right, let me go and have a look for you...
(EM checks upstairs and there isn't any, checks the stock room and there all in there. EM grabs them and heads up the back stairs again with them, so she can come down the main stairs and say 'ta-da' to the cust. However customer is now upstairs and spots her)
Cust: oh you've found them, is there more round there? (goes round the corner)
EM: no, I had to grab them off a colleague and then I was asked to bring up a bra
Cust: oh? (EM hands her the pants and rushes off to the till where there was another lady waiting)

Later...

(cust comes out after trying on and goes over to EM, after already tapping JT on the shoulder while she was writing down information for her customer she was already with)
Cust: this is the only one I saw upstairs, do you have any others?
EM: we don't but we could mail order other sizes if they are available
Cust: could you check?
EM: yes... The 32e is in stock at the warehouse...
Cust: (interrupting) how long will that take?
EM: about 3-5 working days straight to you...
Cust: ahh, that's quite quick...
EM: yep, and it's free post if you order in store...
Cust: I'm normally a 32e but this is a 30 and I don't know if it's too tight, but sometimes when I try on 32 back bras, some fit and some are too lose, but then I wonder if this might stretch after its been worn and then be fine, and if I order the 32 and it's fine now I don't want it to be too big after I've worn it. They do stretch don't they?
EM: they will do, it's like any bra
Cust: well maybe you could have a look at this on me?
EM: yes that's fine...
(EM then deals with the five ladies who have been waiting while the cust has been drivelling on about her bras and then goes and checks the cust)
EM: right let's have a look at the back (checked, it's fine) it looks small in the cup...
Cust: just a little bit...
EM: ok, let's have a look at the front... See here on your smaller side it's a little bit small but on your larger side your falling out over the top...
Cust: so would a 32e work?
EM: probably in the cup but then the back might just ride up...
Cust: oh no, I hate that... So it would be a 30f, what I really need to do is try it. I have put on 15 kilograms... 10 kilograms... so if I lose it then the 30e might fit...
EM: do you loose it from your bust?
Cust: yes, I don't know what to do, I am planning on loosing weight...
EM: well if you know it's going to go off your boobs then take the 30e, you might find that the f will fit you now but not if you loose weight...
Cust: but I don't want it too small and be coming out... I really need to try it...
EM: unfortunately we don't have it in stock but we can have a look at mail ordering it... I will need to check for you as I only looked for the 32e you asked me for
Cust: ok, could you...
(EM goes and checks)
EM: the 30f is at another store so it would be about 7-10 working days
Cust: ok... Thanks...

(cust comes out of room)

Cust: so does it come here?
EM: no, it gets sent straight to your home address
Cust: I live in France... Can I get it sent here?
EM: unfortunately we can't get anything sent here, it can go to your home address or any other address...
Cust: I work in a school and I don't want it sent there...
EM: right... The only other way is to phone all the stores and find our who has them and get them to send it via our couriers but that could take up to 10-14 days
Cust: could you do that?
EM: (looks at her with a 'you have to be kidding me' expression) yes, there is 20 stores to phone so it's not going to be instant though.
Cust: well maybe the first one you phone has it
EM: they might but if I take your name and phone number I can give you a ring and let you know when I've got hold of one for you...
(cust writes down details)
Cust: can you keep hold of these until then
EM: sure, no problem...

(later)

Cust: the lady with short hair was phoning all the stores about a bikini for me...
KB: yes, she's on the phone about that...
Cust: do you know how she's getting on?
KB: let me just find out... (talks to EM) she's only manages to phone three as its very busy and everywhere shuts at 4pm so she's not been able to get through to many of them... She's got your name and number so she can call you when she gets hold of someone who has it but it's probably not going to be today...
Cust: oh, ok...

(later still, about 3:39pm)

Cust: the lady with short hair is phoning all the stores about a bikini in a 30f, can she do the same for this one? (holds up orange gingham one)
JT: I'll have to check, she's trying to help all the ladies trying on and phone up about your bikini...
Cust: if you could...
(JT comes downstairs...)
JT: she wants you to phone about this one too...
EM: your fucking kidding me... Is it even available?! (EM checks... It's sold out) that's a no then...
JT: I'll go tell her...
(upstairs)
JT: I'm afraid that this one has sold out so she won't be able to phone about this one
Cust: what do you mean?
JT: we have checked the stock for you and it's a zero, there isn't any left in the ware house, any other stores or here...
Cust: what about the Internet?
JT: the Internet shows the same Stoke levels as the system we check, like when we checked for the other bikini, there is none left in the uk I'm sorry to say...
Cust: ok (she just leaves)

DICKSPLASH!