(two customers waiting while another one is being served on the till)
Cust1: I'm looking to get a fitting
Cust2: I want to get measured
Cust1: they don't use measuring tapes here
Cust2: I always get measured, it's stupid they don't use tapes here
Cust1: my friends have recommended it as its not always right when they use a tape measure
Cust2: that's not right, I get measured and it's always right. Plus how are you supposed to do it yourself if your not measured?
Cust1:what, check round here (points to back band) and here (points to cups)
Cust2: yes...
EM: are you after a fitting?
Cust1: yes but I've only got half an hour
EM: (asks VG who is on the stairs) when the next available fitting?
VG: 10:30
EM: it's in about 25 minutes
Cust2: well I'm going to another shop (she walks off)
Cust1: I've only got half an hour
EM: we can help you try on, doing all the things a fitter would do but she won't be able to stay in the room with you as she will have to help other ladies trying on
Cust1: well I don't want her to stay in the room
EM: that's fine, if you want to go downstairs I can let her know your on your way and she can help you
(ended up that she was a barrel and didn't fit into anything)
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
What's in a colour?
Cust: I really like bright colours
JT: any particular colour?
Cust: bright ones
JT: ok, was there a particular colour you like?
Cust: I really like the bright psoriasis colour...
JT: cerise?
Cust: yeah...
(JT brings the melody in magenta)
Cust: oh that's a lovely psoriasis colour!
JT: yes...
JT: any particular colour?
Cust: bright ones
JT: ok, was there a particular colour you like?
Cust: I really like the bright psoriasis colour...
JT: cerise?
Cust: yeah...
(JT brings the melody in magenta)
Cust: oh that's a lovely psoriasis colour!
JT: yes...
Sunday, 24 July 2011
It says it all...
Cust comes down the stairs...
Cust: I've got a fitting in forty minutes but I'm just going to sit here and wait...
HS: that's ok...
Cust: just a quick question... Where are all your bras?
HS: well we do keep most of them in the stockroom but we do have the styles upstairs...
Cust: you have bras upstairs? I must have missed them... All I could see were swimwear...
Cust: I've got a fitting in forty minutes but I'm just going to sit here and wait...
HS: that's ok...
Cust: just a quick question... Where are all your bras?
HS: well we do keep most of them in the stockroom but we do have the styles upstairs...
Cust: you have bras upstairs? I must have missed them... All I could see were swimwear...
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Mental issues
This is all one customer...
Cust: (on phone) my daughters a 32dd do you do that size?
JT: yes, it's quite a common one and we have lots of styles
Cust: well, my daughter has great difficulty finding them!
Cust: (while stood in fitting room) do you have any water in here? (looks around room)
KB: do you want to go through together?
Cust: no
KB: ok (turns to daughter) do you want to come through
Cust: I'll come too
KB: Ok, so you don't mind going through together?
Cust: (on phone) my daughters a 32dd do you do that size?
JT: yes, it's quite a common one and we have lots of styles
Cust: well, my daughter has great difficulty finding them!
Cust: (while stood in fitting room) do you have any water in here? (looks around room)
KB: do you want to go through together?
Cust: no
KB: ok (turns to daughter) do you want to come through
Cust: I'll come too
KB: Ok, so you don't mind going through together?
Liar
Cust: what size are these?
JT: 34
Cust: I thought you were going to say that. There supporting me so much better than 36's
JT: (in stockroom) I've just told this lady I've been fitting her into 34's and I haven't. They have been 36's.
EM: did you not realise you were going to the 36 rails?
JT: nope... It's only when I went to look for 34 back bikinis that I went 'err... hang on... what have I just put her in?'
EM: what are you going to do?
JT: I don't know...!
(later)
JT: it's ok, I told her but I blamed it on a new girl putting them away in the wrong place...
JT: 34
Cust: I thought you were going to say that. There supporting me so much better than 36's
JT: (in stockroom) I've just told this lady I've been fitting her into 34's and I haven't. They have been 36's.
EM: did you not realise you were going to the 36 rails?
JT: nope... It's only when I went to look for 34 back bikinis that I went 'err... hang on... what have I just put her in?'
EM: what are you going to do?
JT: I don't know...!
(later)
JT: it's ok, I told her but I blamed it on a new girl putting them away in the wrong place...
You know it's Saturday when...
Cust: hi, I've just been fitted and I thought I wanted this white bra that I've got on but I've changed my mind and I want the brown one instead... (hands EM a piece of paper with au01mo32hh and a pnl4pe34e written on it)
EM: ok, do you want the 34e one on here as well?
Cust: no it's a 32hh.
EM: ok (starts to walk to stockroom)
Cust: the other one is for my mother...
EM: ok, so you want both...
(EM finds the 32hh but can't find the 34e, EM takes the 32 out to the cust and explains that she is still looking for the other one. After looking everywhere EM concedes defeat and takes a white version of the one requested for the mother and explains that the colour originally requested can be mail ordered)
Cust: ok, well she's upstairs so I will go and ask her. This is the one I don't want any more and it's been paid for so I'll just swap it over...
EM: it's been paid for? We need to swap it over on the till...
Cust: oh I don't know if it's been paid for... You better come and see...
(EM goes up and looks at the till screen they hadn't paid and it looks like they had already started processing the pnl4pe34e without it being found)
Cust: right, she will have the white and this is the one she has on (hands EM the tag for it... It's the bras EM has looked everywhere for)
EM: oh, so she has on the bra that I was looking for...
Cust: (silence....)
EM: ok, do you want the 34e one on here as well?
Cust: no it's a 32hh.
EM: ok (starts to walk to stockroom)
Cust: the other one is for my mother...
EM: ok, so you want both...
(EM finds the 32hh but can't find the 34e, EM takes the 32 out to the cust and explains that she is still looking for the other one. After looking everywhere EM concedes defeat and takes a white version of the one requested for the mother and explains that the colour originally requested can be mail ordered)
Cust: ok, well she's upstairs so I will go and ask her. This is the one I don't want any more and it's been paid for so I'll just swap it over...
EM: it's been paid for? We need to swap it over on the till...
Cust: oh I don't know if it's been paid for... You better come and see...
(EM goes up and looks at the till screen they hadn't paid and it looks like they had already started processing the pnl4pe34e without it being found)
Cust: right, she will have the white and this is the one she has on (hands EM the tag for it... It's the bras EM has looked everywhere for)
EM: oh, so she has on the bra that I was looking for...
Cust: (silence....)
Thursday, 21 July 2011
Faulties and damaged
Spot the error
This bra is clearly white... not pearl which has been written down...
This in not a black bra in a million years, its also not a 'Harmony' its a 'Melody'
This is not a PN84, its a FYN2... they don't even look the same!
Nice comments/customers are dirty/customers are stupid
Just disgusting... returned and not even washed...
Apparently this happened while hand washing... was the Hulk doing it?
MAN UP!
Yes... thats blood... didn't even try to wash it off
Returned because they didn't fit, after they had cut the hooks off an old bra and sewn them on the new ones...
Rife body odour... WASH THE DAMN THINGS FIRST! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK!
Have you sin this!
This bra is clearly white... not pearl which has been written down...
This in not a black bra in a million years, its also not a 'Harmony' its a 'Melody'
This is not a PN84, its a FYN2... they don't even look the same!
Nice comments/customers are dirty/customers are stupid
Just disgusting... returned and not even washed...
Apparently this happened while hand washing... was the Hulk doing it?
MAN UP!
Yes... thats blood... didn't even try to wash it off
Returned because they didn't fit, after they had cut the hooks off an old bra and sewn them on the new ones...
Rife body odour... WASH THE DAMN THINGS FIRST! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK!
Have you sin this!
And on that note...
JT: are you in tomorrow?
EM: no
JT: oh yeah, that's right. Whose boobs am I going to play with tomorrow?
EM: EA's?
JT: no, they don't move in the same way... Your not my fun-time play-bags for nothing!
EM: no
JT: oh yeah, that's right. Whose boobs am I going to play with tomorrow?
EM: EA's?
JT: no, they don't move in the same way... Your not my fun-time play-bags for nothing!
Stock woes
EA: right, this is faulties and damaged from yesterday. The rest is cardboard and these are the magic knickers... No... There not magic knickers, there £3 knickers...
EM: look, there are loads in here... (starts throwing bras behind her towards EA)
EA: stop throwing dirty bras at me!
JJ: errr! That's disgusting!
EA: what's this? Faulty because couldn't remove strap? (fyw4) SERIOUSLY! ARRRGGH! oh look! That's one strap removed... Ah, and there's the other one removed! And someone's spilt coffee on it! It smells ok though...
EA: faulty stitching and faded... And what the fuck is that?
(oily stain on print out)
EA: well worn... I wrote that... It's gone green...
EM: oh, let's have a look, I think this is the one I had to touch... (sniffs near the clear bag) you can smell the bo from here...
JT: I took up a 36hh to GP and then she buzzed down and told me it was a 36h, so I took another one and that was a 34hh and she said "I don't think you understood what I meant..." and I was like ARRGH! I'm going to the same rail, picking up a white au01 and bringing it to you FROM THE SAME RAIL!
Pn53 with a written label for a pnb5, it was one that three people had been looking for...
EM: is this a pn53? It's got the bits under the wire?
EA: oh my fucking god! Really! Why would you do that!
EA has been looking for three pn84's that have been adjusted out under EM's code. EM knows nothing about them. After looking and not being able to find them EA gives up and moves onto looking for something else...
EA: I'm looking for a pink t-shirt that VG took out of stock yesterday...
EM: ooooh! Have you tried the office? There's one in there...
EA: ahhh, I haven't checked for anything in there...
(later)
EA: YAAAAYYYYY! look what I found!
(the pn84's)
EM: (looking at a pn53st) fabric breakdown?! Where!? I can't see anything? Is this it?! Because the bits under the wire have curled up? IS THAT IT?!?
eA: (sings) welcome to my nightmare... I'm sure you will enjoy it...
EM: look, there are loads in here... (starts throwing bras behind her towards EA)
EA: stop throwing dirty bras at me!
JJ: errr! That's disgusting!
EA: what's this? Faulty because couldn't remove strap? (fyw4) SERIOUSLY! ARRRGGH! oh look! That's one strap removed... Ah, and there's the other one removed! And someone's spilt coffee on it! It smells ok though...
EA: faulty stitching and faded... And what the fuck is that?
(oily stain on print out)
EA: well worn... I wrote that... It's gone green...
EM: oh, let's have a look, I think this is the one I had to touch... (sniffs near the clear bag) you can smell the bo from here...
JT: I took up a 36hh to GP and then she buzzed down and told me it was a 36h, so I took another one and that was a 34hh and she said "I don't think you understood what I meant..." and I was like ARRGH! I'm going to the same rail, picking up a white au01 and bringing it to you FROM THE SAME RAIL!
Pn53 with a written label for a pnb5, it was one that three people had been looking for...
EM: is this a pn53? It's got the bits under the wire?
EA: oh my fucking god! Really! Why would you do that!
EA has been looking for three pn84's that have been adjusted out under EM's code. EM knows nothing about them. After looking and not being able to find them EA gives up and moves onto looking for something else...
EA: I'm looking for a pink t-shirt that VG took out of stock yesterday...
EM: ooooh! Have you tried the office? There's one in there...
EA: ahhh, I haven't checked for anything in there...
(later)
EA: YAAAAYYYYY! look what I found!
(the pn84's)
EM: (looking at a pn53st) fabric breakdown?! Where!? I can't see anything? Is this it?! Because the bits under the wire have curled up? IS THAT IT?!?
eA: (sings) welcome to my nightmare... I'm sure you will enjoy it...
Customers...
JT: oh my god, a load of witches are trying on. I said to them "I'll be with you in a minute" while I'm helping these five other ladies and one of them said "well... When you find a moment..." (said in a sarcastic voice by cust) ERGH! Hanger in the face! I wish I had a house to drop on you!
EA: throw a glass of water on them...
JT: (on radio as JT walks into stockroom) I'm sorry GP we don't have any of the pink ones down here... (looks at spanx crate and sees all the pink ones in a crate underneath. JT turns to EM) oh... They are there... Shit...
JT is writing down a code that GP has buzzed down. A customer starts walking to the stairs...
JT: sorry! I can talk to you! I was just writing down a code from my colleague upstairs
Cust: it's ok, I've just read the poster and it says you don't do fittings... (the massive poster by the desk)
JT: oh no, we do...
Cust: that's not what the poster says...
JT: it just says we don't use measuring tapes, we use other ways to find your size...
Cust: so you do do fittings?
JT: yes...
Cust: oh...
EA: throw a glass of water on them...
JT: (on radio as JT walks into stockroom) I'm sorry GP we don't have any of the pink ones down here... (looks at spanx crate and sees all the pink ones in a crate underneath. JT turns to EM) oh... They are there... Shit...
JT is writing down a code that GP has buzzed down. A customer starts walking to the stairs...
JT: sorry! I can talk to you! I was just writing down a code from my colleague upstairs
Cust: it's ok, I've just read the poster and it says you don't do fittings... (the massive poster by the desk)
JT: oh no, we do...
Cust: that's not what the poster says...
JT: it just says we don't use measuring tapes, we use other ways to find your size...
Cust: so you do do fittings?
JT: yes...
Cust: oh...
It's thicko Thursday!
Lady comes down the stairs in a dark blue coat, dark blue jeans and a high-vis sleeveless jacket on.
JJ: oh! Are you here to read the meter?
Cust: no, I'm here for a fitting...
When JJ was trying to tell us what happened she kept saying that she thought she was here to mead the Rita!
Cust: this doesn't even remotely fit (fyn2 in a 34ff) can you get me one that does?
JT: did you want me to check it on you might need another size because it will fit differently to your normal bra...
Cust: what's the point of that? (being checked) why would I need another size when I'm a 34ff
JT: some bras do come up differently...
Cust: but I'm a 34ff, so if you brought out another size then it wouldn't be my size...
Same cust as above: you took my bra
JT: oh, I don't think I did
Cust: yeah you took my bra
JT: the one you came in wearing? I don't think so...
Cust: (looks at floor) oh yeah! There it is!
JJ: oh! Are you here to read the meter?
Cust: no, I'm here for a fitting...
When JJ was trying to tell us what happened she kept saying that she thought she was here to mead the Rita!
Cust: this doesn't even remotely fit (fyn2 in a 34ff) can you get me one that does?
JT: did you want me to check it on you might need another size because it will fit differently to your normal bra...
Cust: what's the point of that? (being checked) why would I need another size when I'm a 34ff
JT: some bras do come up differently...
Cust: but I'm a 34ff, so if you brought out another size then it wouldn't be my size...
Same cust as above: you took my bra
JT: oh, I don't think I did
Cust: yeah you took my bra
JT: the one you came in wearing? I don't think so...
Cust: (looks at floor) oh yeah! There it is!
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
They can't do that!
Customer raising her tone to shouting level when KB broke the news to her that the FA51 is being discontinued
Morning phone calls
Cust: I need to return an item, do I have to post it or can I return it in store or would you have to then send it on?
EM: you can return it in store, that's fine!
Cust: oh good, because I went to return something to another store and it would have been quicker if I had posted it myself...
EM: no, we do all the transactions in store...
Cust: oh good... Goodbye...
Cust phoned up about an Anna swimsuit she bought in feb. She had worn it twice a week since she bought it and was complaining that the arse had gone saggy. She didn't realise that it wasn't a chlorine resistant fabric. When this was explained to her she couldn't get her head around the fact that the speedos swimsuit was not available in her size. She also said that the speedos one does not say it's chlorine resistant (yes it does)
Monday, 18 July 2011
Everything at once
JT answers the phone in the office and needs to find a customers size so EM brings up the till screen for her.
JT leans over and types in the customers postcode and then try's to press select on the monitor, forgetting it's not touch screen. EM is trying very hard not to laugh out loud which makes JT laugh (she manages to stay silent) then the radio rings which is around JT's neck. EM tries to pull it as far away from the phone to answer it but can't stop laughing. EM presses the talk button but can't compose herself to talk and then the radio goes dead... Luckily!
JT leans over and types in the customers postcode and then try's to press select on the monitor, forgetting it's not touch screen. EM is trying very hard not to laugh out loud which makes JT laugh (she manages to stay silent) then the radio rings which is around JT's neck. EM tries to pull it as far away from the phone to answer it but can't stop laughing. EM presses the talk button but can't compose herself to talk and then the radio goes dead... Luckily!
Monday Monday
Girl comes down with the curvy kate bra and shorts
JT: did you just want to try those on?
Cust: no there for my grandma, I need a 38dd
JT: oh, ok... (goes and gets bra)
Cust: thanks (cust goes upstairs to her grandma and then comes back down) my grandma can't be bothered to try them on so I'm going to
JT: are you sure? You might need a different size in to your grandma?
Cust: no, were both the same size...
This is grandma...
Cust: I'd like to try this tankini in a 32f
JT: ok, I'll go and have a look for you (goes to stockroom and then comes back) I didn't have a 32f but I brought a 30ff for you to try
Cust: I asked for a 32f
JT: I know but I didn't have one so I brought a 30ff for you to try
Cust: what does that mean?
JT: it's a back size smaller but it's the cup equivalent of the f...
JT: did you just want to try those on?
Cust: no there for my grandma, I need a 38dd
JT: oh, ok... (goes and gets bra)
Cust: thanks (cust goes upstairs to her grandma and then comes back down) my grandma can't be bothered to try them on so I'm going to
JT: are you sure? You might need a different size in to your grandma?
Cust: no, were both the same size...
This is grandma...
Cust: I'd like to try this tankini in a 32f
JT: ok, I'll go and have a look for you (goes to stockroom and then comes back) I didn't have a 32f but I brought a 30ff for you to try
Cust: I asked for a 32f
JT: I know but I didn't have one so I brought a 30ff for you to try
Cust: what does that mean?
JT: it's a back size smaller but it's the cup equivalent of the f...
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Saturday afternoon
Cust: I want an ivory strapless bra
KB: ok I'll get one (comes back with pnk1)
Cust: I don't like padding
KB: I'm really sorry but we don't do any without moulding as they just don't give the same level of support
Cust: (flicks through catalogue) I like this one (pnn2)
KB: ok well it's the same bra but with lace over it so if we try this on for size I can get it for you if we need another size or get that style in this size if it fits
Cust: I really like this one...
KB: do you want to try this on so we know what size you will need?
Cust: ohhhhhhhhhh... (pouts and has a mini strop)
KB: ok I'll see if I have it in this size and then we can try it on!
EM: can you cover me so I can go to the loo?
JT: urrrr...
(EM puts the radio over her head and manages to stroke her hair at the same time)
EM: nice, just gave you a little stroke...
JT: it's alright minion
Custs mum: that's a bit adult (mq61)
JT: she asked for moulded bras so I brought all the ones we had in her size
Cust mum: still, she's only a teenager you know... (custs mum flicks through catalogue) let's try something girly and pretty (picks out eloise bra and paige bra amongst others)
JT: (in stockroom tells EM what's happened so far) so her mums picked out these so there not so 'adult'... Let's go see her teenage nipples...
(later)
JT: all she can find is thongs... Gutted.
-because every teenager needs a see through bra set so there not in adult lingerie-
Cust: because I'm so full I can only wear full cup bras, you wouldn't understand, but I can only wear full cups... (she's a 32h)
JT: I'm a 30h
Cust: really? You look like an f if anything...
Cust walks out of the fitting rooms, JT says goodbye to her while wearing the electric zebra bikini over her clothes...
KB: ok I'll get one (comes back with pnk1)
Cust: I don't like padding
KB: I'm really sorry but we don't do any without moulding as they just don't give the same level of support
Cust: (flicks through catalogue) I like this one (pnn2)
KB: ok well it's the same bra but with lace over it so if we try this on for size I can get it for you if we need another size or get that style in this size if it fits
Cust: I really like this one...
KB: do you want to try this on so we know what size you will need?
Cust: ohhhhhhhhhh... (pouts and has a mini strop)
KB: ok I'll see if I have it in this size and then we can try it on!
EM: can you cover me so I can go to the loo?
JT: urrrr...
(EM puts the radio over her head and manages to stroke her hair at the same time)
EM: nice, just gave you a little stroke...
JT: it's alright minion
Custs mum: that's a bit adult (mq61)
JT: she asked for moulded bras so I brought all the ones we had in her size
Cust mum: still, she's only a teenager you know... (custs mum flicks through catalogue) let's try something girly and pretty (picks out eloise bra and paige bra amongst others)
JT: (in stockroom tells EM what's happened so far) so her mums picked out these so there not so 'adult'... Let's go see her teenage nipples...
(later)
JT: all she can find is thongs... Gutted.
-because every teenager needs a see through bra set so there not in adult lingerie-
Cust: because I'm so full I can only wear full cup bras, you wouldn't understand, but I can only wear full cups... (she's a 32h)
JT: I'm a 30h
Cust: really? You look like an f if anything...
Cust walks out of the fitting rooms, JT says goodbye to her while wearing the electric zebra bikini over her clothes...
Fitting Russian roulette
EM: I need a fitter...
KB: I can do it...
EM: it's ok I'll give her to EA as she's had all the fucktards today
KB: I can do it...
EM: it's ok I'll give her to EA as she's had all the fucktards today
Knock and run
VG, KB, EM, JT, HP and GB all stood in the stockroom by the door discussing JT retching during a fitting. A customer knocks on the door. There's a pause and everyone apart from GB runs away and hides behind various rails in the stockroom leaving GB to fetch whatever the customer was after
Saturday
Cust: I'm a nightmare, but I'm sure all the ladies who come in say that...
EA: some of them (laughs)
Cust: well I'm desperate and you have to sort me out
(later in stockroom)
EA: I'm going to need extra time
EM: is she a nightmare?
EA: she's not a nightmare to fit but SHE is a nightmare. In the fitting room she said the lights are awful and I said oh are they too bright and she said no, there too dark and she couldn't see anything. So I said to her to follow me down to the big mirror...
(she also told VG that she got here at 9am and because we were not open she was forced to go to another store and spend money)
EM: have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: I've been fitted in leister... (EM writes her down as a first fitting)
Cust: or was it Nottingham? No... It was Leeds...
EM: and are they all the styles you like? (she has a whole load)
Cust: yes
EM: ok, I'll just get your fitter...
(in stockroom)
EM: ok this lady has been fitted by us before, after she picked out some random towns up north, she finally decided it was in Leeds and she has a shit load of bras... Soft cups, plunges, full cups...
EA: right...
VG: I bet she thinks there all the same...
Cust: I need to measure myself so have you got a tape measure?
EM: no we don't have any tape measures here...
Cust: ok do you have a fitting service?
EM: yes, and I have a fitter free now (takes ladies name) what styles or colours are you after?
Cust: I don't know, that's why I wanted to measure myself so I could pick some bras...
EM: well a fitting takes about 20 minutes as you get fitted into styles individually as your probably going to end up needing different sizes in them...
Cust: I'll go and get some...
EM: ok, I'll let your fitter know that your here in the meantime...
(she then came down and cancelled it)
GP: a customer wants this but said there's a pull in it and could she have 5% discount on it?
EM: for fucks sake...where's the pull?
(we have a look and there is the smallest bit of fluff on the inside, EM snips it off)
EM: take this back and ask the customer to point it out again as by the time you got downstairs you couldn't find it. If it was that bit of fluff she won't be able to point it out and ask for discount
GP: sure, ok
(never did hear from her again)
Cust: I need to order this in black (fa53), now, I'm usually a 34dd but this is a 34e (holds up the nude one) and actually it fitted really well but you didn't have it in black, now, hang on, you didn't have the black in a dd, you might have it in the black?
EM: I can look for you...
Cust: oh yes! Would you!
(we didn't have it)
EA: some of them (laughs)
Cust: well I'm desperate and you have to sort me out
(later in stockroom)
EA: I'm going to need extra time
EM: is she a nightmare?
EA: she's not a nightmare to fit but SHE is a nightmare. In the fitting room she said the lights are awful and I said oh are they too bright and she said no, there too dark and she couldn't see anything. So I said to her to follow me down to the big mirror...
(she also told VG that she got here at 9am and because we were not open she was forced to go to another store and spend money)
EM: have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: I've been fitted in leister... (EM writes her down as a first fitting)
Cust: or was it Nottingham? No... It was Leeds...
EM: and are they all the styles you like? (she has a whole load)
Cust: yes
EM: ok, I'll just get your fitter...
(in stockroom)
EM: ok this lady has been fitted by us before, after she picked out some random towns up north, she finally decided it was in Leeds and she has a shit load of bras... Soft cups, plunges, full cups...
EA: right...
VG: I bet she thinks there all the same...
Cust: I need to measure myself so have you got a tape measure?
EM: no we don't have any tape measures here...
Cust: ok do you have a fitting service?
EM: yes, and I have a fitter free now (takes ladies name) what styles or colours are you after?
Cust: I don't know, that's why I wanted to measure myself so I could pick some bras...
EM: well a fitting takes about 20 minutes as you get fitted into styles individually as your probably going to end up needing different sizes in them...
Cust: I'll go and get some...
EM: ok, I'll let your fitter know that your here in the meantime...
(she then came down and cancelled it)
GP: a customer wants this but said there's a pull in it and could she have 5% discount on it?
EM: for fucks sake...where's the pull?
(we have a look and there is the smallest bit of fluff on the inside, EM snips it off)
EM: take this back and ask the customer to point it out again as by the time you got downstairs you couldn't find it. If it was that bit of fluff she won't be able to point it out and ask for discount
GP: sure, ok
(never did hear from her again)
Cust: I need to order this in black (fa53), now, I'm usually a 34dd but this is a 34e (holds up the nude one) and actually it fitted really well but you didn't have it in black, now, hang on, you didn't have the black in a dd, you might have it in the black?
EM: I can look for you...
Cust: oh yes! Would you!
(we didn't have it)
Friday, 15 July 2011
Uses for a bra...
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/orl-bk-orlando-sixth-homicide-030309,0,4107024.story
Well, thats one way to do it....
Well, thats one way to do it....
Apologise about their weight
Saw this and thought of the wait/weight lady...
Think about how they feel about their wait...
Fat?
Sales bring them out...
EM: this comes in a 40 back doesn't it?
MR: yes. It's one of the few...
EM: crap, we don't have one then...
MR: what is she?
EM: 40j
MR: she's a monster...(laughs) what is she... Hmmmm...
Cust: can I have a fitting?
EM: sure! I have a fitter free now, what are you after?
Cust: a bra that fits
EM: sure thing... I'll get your fitter for you...
(EM goes to stock room and gets JJ. KB comes into the stockroom as well)
KB: you know that woman who asked for a fitting
EM: yes...
KB: she has a huge bag full of old bras that she wants checking to see if they still fit her and the ones that don't she's going to put in the recycling bin
EM: Jesus...
Cust: I want these, but not these...(hands back 3 racer back pj tops) what I wanted was these colours (blue and coral) but in this size (34gh that she tried on in grey)
KB: oh if she gave you that to try it's probably because we didn't have the other colours in that size
Cust: NO! I asked her for them and she gave me that!
KB: I'll just check our stock but it's probable that we don't have them in store... (checks mail order for them and shows cust the screen) ah, as you can see, the blue has sold out and the coral one we would need to order for you as it's not here but in stock at the warehouse...
Cust: oh... It's ok, I'll take this one...
(she was told that we don't have the blue or coral in store but to try the grey on for size and we can try and mail order the other colours)
EM: right, I'm going to the loo...
JJ: you can't, MO is in there, praying to Allah...
EM: (shouting through door) MO! Stop poohing!
MO: I can't! It's on it's way!
EM: Jesus Christ!
JJ: see, I told you!
MR in a refit, goes upstairs to get a bikini and her cust filled out the refit form herself...
KB: I need to save this for a customer who was fitted today as a 32gg but was given a 34g... (checks fitting sheets) oh wait, MO has put her down as a 34g
EM: check with MO
KB: can we do 1471?
EM: no, because we have the... Err... Press 1, press 2, press 3 and all that...
(KB is bent over laughing hysterically. EM walks off to the stockroom with KB following)
EM: all I needed to was go eeerrrrrr afterwards...
KB: I so wanted to do that but I thought those ladies waiting would have thought 'what the fuck?!'
Cust: I haven't got an appointment but I'd like to try these on
EM: that's fine
Cust: I would like this in a different size (orange gingham bikini top) I need it nice and loose because I want to wear it under a t-shirt and I don't like bulges...
EM: ok... What size do you want?
Cust: well I suppose a 36c?
EM: we start from a d here...
Cust: oh well I'm usually a cc...
EM: there isn't a cc. It's b then c and then d...
Cust: well, a d it is then...
Cust: (puts down red auo1) I'd like a black one ordering too...
JT: (looks it up and it's 7-10 days cust decides that's too long to wait) do you want the brown one?
Cust: yes
JT: that's £52 for those
Cust: oh, I don't want the red, it's too bright for me!
JT: ok, so it's just the brown one that were ordering which is £26
Cust: ok (she pays on card)
(cust then, as she is leaving, Spots the sale stuff and picks up a emerald au01)
Cust: can I take this one instead?
JT: you want to cancel the order?
Cust: yeah, and can I pay in cash?
JT: I just need to phone customer services to cancel it (JT cancels it and sells her the au01em, she doesn't check the size as the customer has looked through the rail and selected the one she is paying for)
Cust: (looks at reciept) this is a g? The other one was a gg?
JT: yea, did you want a gg?
Cust: does that mean you ordered the wrong size before?
JT: no, I ordered the same size as the red one, do you want to return this?
Cust: yes...
(JT processes it wile the cust is franticly looking for a gg on the rail)
Cust: you don't have one here...
JT: did you want me to re-order the brown one?
Cust: no... I'll leave it...
MR: yes. It's one of the few...
EM: crap, we don't have one then...
MR: what is she?
EM: 40j
MR: she's a monster...(laughs) what is she... Hmmmm...
Cust: can I have a fitting?
EM: sure! I have a fitter free now, what are you after?
Cust: a bra that fits
EM: sure thing... I'll get your fitter for you...
(EM goes to stock room and gets JJ. KB comes into the stockroom as well)
KB: you know that woman who asked for a fitting
EM: yes...
KB: she has a huge bag full of old bras that she wants checking to see if they still fit her and the ones that don't she's going to put in the recycling bin
EM: Jesus...
Cust: I want these, but not these...(hands back 3 racer back pj tops) what I wanted was these colours (blue and coral) but in this size (34gh that she tried on in grey)
KB: oh if she gave you that to try it's probably because we didn't have the other colours in that size
Cust: NO! I asked her for them and she gave me that!
KB: I'll just check our stock but it's probable that we don't have them in store... (checks mail order for them and shows cust the screen) ah, as you can see, the blue has sold out and the coral one we would need to order for you as it's not here but in stock at the warehouse...
Cust: oh... It's ok, I'll take this one...
(she was told that we don't have the blue or coral in store but to try the grey on for size and we can try and mail order the other colours)
EM: right, I'm going to the loo...
JJ: you can't, MO is in there, praying to Allah...
EM: (shouting through door) MO! Stop poohing!
MO: I can't! It's on it's way!
EM: Jesus Christ!
JJ: see, I told you!
MR in a refit, goes upstairs to get a bikini and her cust filled out the refit form herself...
KB: I need to save this for a customer who was fitted today as a 32gg but was given a 34g... (checks fitting sheets) oh wait, MO has put her down as a 34g
EM: check with MO
KB: can we do 1471?
EM: no, because we have the... Err... Press 1, press 2, press 3 and all that...
(KB is bent over laughing hysterically. EM walks off to the stockroom with KB following)
EM: all I needed to was go eeerrrrrr afterwards...
KB: I so wanted to do that but I thought those ladies waiting would have thought 'what the fuck?!'
Cust: I haven't got an appointment but I'd like to try these on
EM: that's fine
Cust: I would like this in a different size (orange gingham bikini top) I need it nice and loose because I want to wear it under a t-shirt and I don't like bulges...
EM: ok... What size do you want?
Cust: well I suppose a 36c?
EM: we start from a d here...
Cust: oh well I'm usually a cc...
EM: there isn't a cc. It's b then c and then d...
Cust: well, a d it is then...
Cust: (puts down red auo1) I'd like a black one ordering too...
JT: (looks it up and it's 7-10 days cust decides that's too long to wait) do you want the brown one?
Cust: yes
JT: that's £52 for those
Cust: oh, I don't want the red, it's too bright for me!
JT: ok, so it's just the brown one that were ordering which is £26
Cust: ok (she pays on card)
(cust then, as she is leaving, Spots the sale stuff and picks up a emerald au01)
Cust: can I take this one instead?
JT: you want to cancel the order?
Cust: yeah, and can I pay in cash?
JT: I just need to phone customer services to cancel it (JT cancels it and sells her the au01em, she doesn't check the size as the customer has looked through the rail and selected the one she is paying for)
Cust: (looks at reciept) this is a g? The other one was a gg?
JT: yea, did you want a gg?
Cust: does that mean you ordered the wrong size before?
JT: no, I ordered the same size as the red one, do you want to return this?
Cust: yes...
(JT processes it wile the cust is franticly looking for a gg on the rail)
Cust: you don't have one here...
JT: did you want me to re-order the brown one?
Cust: no... I'll leave it...
A trying morning
Cust: you need to do swimsuits in a true k cup. The one you do isnt a true k cup and I need one for my triathlon
(we do one in a k cup and it's panache, probably the most 'true' one you will find)
Cust wants to make a return on behalf of her daughter who paid with card. She had to phone her daughter to get the pin number and rather than just memorising it she proceeded to scrawl it on the tissue paper in huge numbers in front of JT and then asked if she could rip the number off the tissue... (sure, JT has seen it, committed it to memory and we can probably make it out on the next sheet but you take it just to make sure no one else sees it)
(we do one in a k cup and it's panache, probably the most 'true' one you will find)
Cust wants to make a return on behalf of her daughter who paid with card. She had to phone her daughter to get the pin number and rather than just memorising it she proceeded to scrawl it on the tissue paper in huge numbers in front of JT and then asked if she could rip the number off the tissue... (sure, JT has seen it, committed it to memory and we can probably make it out on the next sheet but you take it just to make sure no one else sees it)
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Smelly
HS: it's a poo day... The shop smells of poo, everyone is doing a poo...
MO: welcome to the shit shop!
MO: welcome to the shit shop!
What size?
Cust: (looking through sale) where are the 36c's?
HS: oh I'm sorry we don't have any c's, we start from a d
Cust: well I have one of yours on and it's a c
HS: oh I'm sorry we don't have any c's, we start from a d
Cust: well I have one of yours on and it's a c
Incest?
(HS watching a cust, talking to a man considerably younger than the cust, going all gooey-eyed over the see through fairytale briefs. HS plays the game where you guess if the male companion is a son or boyfriend)
Cust: (to man) oh look at those! They're so sweet! They're adorable!
(cust realises she's being watched)
Cust: (to HS) it's alright, he's my son
Every son wants a mental image of his mother in a pair of see through pants... Don't they?
Cust: (to man) oh look at those! They're so sweet! They're adorable!
(cust realises she's being watched)
Cust: (to HS) it's alright, he's my son
Every son wants a mental image of his mother in a pair of see through pants... Don't they?
I WANT THEM ALL
Cust who wanted us to reserve all white full cups in a 30h and a 32gg came in today.
She wanted to have a change from the fa60 but didn't know what size to go for (hence all the sizes) and didn't want to come in unless we had other options saved for her to try
She had her fitting and ended up taking...
The fa60.
She wanted to have a change from the fa60 but didn't know what size to go for (hence all the sizes) and didn't want to come in unless we had other options saved for her to try
She had her fitting and ended up taking...
The fa60.
New addition
There's a pigeon newbie hanging around. This one clearly knows that Sussex Street is the place to be...
or is the shittest homing pigeon in the world...
or is the shittest homing pigeon in the world...
Alright!
HS: can I help?
Cust: my friend and I had and appointment at 11:00 and 11:20
HS: ok... (turns to EM) what time is it now?
Cust: (interrupting) I'm not going to have my appointment but my friend will have hers... I did try to phone the store but no one was answering. I left a message but as I couldn't speak to anyone (glares at EM) I do apologise
HS: right! (turns to EM again) what time is it?
EM: 11:20
HS: do you want to go down stairs then?
Cust: she can't walk very well she's cut her ankles so she will need a seat
HS: (to custs friend) oh no are you alright? Can you make it downstairs?
Cuts friend: I can do it just slowly
EM: we do have an upstairs fitting room if it's easier?
Cust friend: I'll be ok
Cust: so I'll pick her up in an hour
HS: the fitting only takes 20 minutes
Cust: yes but she has to pick her bras and pay
(EM walks off...)
Cust: so I'll be back at 12:30
(is this custs friend stupid/can't talk for herself/has the speed of a snail? Plus we only missed one phone call this morning... Unless like all the other dullards she was calling at 8:30 in the morning)
Cust: my friend and I had and appointment at 11:00 and 11:20
HS: ok... (turns to EM) what time is it now?
Cust: (interrupting) I'm not going to have my appointment but my friend will have hers... I did try to phone the store but no one was answering. I left a message but as I couldn't speak to anyone (glares at EM) I do apologise
HS: right! (turns to EM again) what time is it?
EM: 11:20
HS: do you want to go down stairs then?
Cust: she can't walk very well she's cut her ankles so she will need a seat
HS: (to custs friend) oh no are you alright? Can you make it downstairs?
Cuts friend: I can do it just slowly
EM: we do have an upstairs fitting room if it's easier?
Cust friend: I'll be ok
Cust: so I'll pick her up in an hour
HS: the fitting only takes 20 minutes
Cust: yes but she has to pick her bras and pay
(EM walks off...)
Cust: so I'll be back at 12:30
(is this custs friend stupid/can't talk for herself/has the speed of a snail? Plus we only missed one phone call this morning... Unless like all the other dullards she was calling at 8:30 in the morning)
How did I forget this one!?
(cust comes in to return a tankini that a friend bought for her, it's a cash refund)
EM: ok, if you could just sign on here to confirm that your getting the refund in cash...
Cust: ok...
EM: and here's your original receipt and your £50.
Cust: £50? It says £60 on here?
EM: yes she paid £60 in cash but as it was only £50 she got £10 change
Cust: (looks at first receipt again) oh yeah, I thought she paid £60 in total...
EM: ok, if you could just sign on here to confirm that your getting the refund in cash...
Cust: ok...
EM: and here's your original receipt and your £50.
Cust: £50? It says £60 on here?
EM: yes she paid £60 in cash but as it was only £50 she got £10 change
Cust: (looks at first receipt again) oh yeah, I thought she paid £60 in total...
Monday, 11 July 2011
Hello
Just having a look at the stats for this blog and have seen that people are reading this in the UK.... Which make up 984 page views so far... AMAZING!
But, there are people reading this in:
America,
Japan,
Sweden,
Canada,
Germany,
Ireland,
France,
Netherlands,
India,
Mexico,
Pakistan,
Colombia,
Greece and china!
Hope your all enjoying this and please recommend to your friends!
Dear lordy...
This is a photo taken during a Debenhams perfect fit fashion show.
Yes thats right, Debenhams doing a perfect fit show... and as you can see from the glorious photo, they are really showing they're expertise here...
.
They call it service...
There was twenty of them waiting as they rattled the poor door,
They glared at their watches and we prepared ourselves for war.
Opening the door we braced against the oncoming tide,
Action stations! Don't think there is anywhere you can run and hide.
The ladies all come running, running down the stairs,
So they can get fitted up for their lovely pairs.
They said they wanted support in them but no seams and no lace,
Demands that make up want to hit them round the bloody face.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
She said she doesn't like full cups, we say 'alright, wierdo'
And when we finish finding one she says that it's too low.
We say "d'you want a balconette? 'cause balconettes are best"
she says "I just want something to support my sagging chest"
Now we have a woman, who wants a fitting bad,
And when we tell her she has to wait she goes quite fucking mad.
We tempt her into trying on and offer her some help too,
And when she has all the bras we sell she asks "is that all you do?"
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
She nearly yelled at the bras she held and said "these don't fit right!"
But considering she's a forty she won't get in the others without a fight.
She asked for swimwear in "the biggest you've got!" for she was going away,
We all had mental breakdowns when she said the flights booked for the very next day.
They stick their heads out to try and get your attention,
Regardless of the fact your running round with the greatest intention.
They speak over you while your talking to someone else and doing up their bra,
Making you feel like running over them later with your car.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
Now you rush about the stockroom, seven bits of paper in your hand,
If only you were in a pub, or if they complained you could shout 'your banned!'
You give them everything they've asked for and a few bits more,
And then they don't say thank you, they just slam the bloody door.
They ask you what's in the sale as it's too much to pay for this,
And they have made a special trip to us all the way from Diss.
You wince a little inside but you say 'I'll see what I can find',
You come back with the one bra we have but they say they don't like that kind.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
You tell them about the web sale and they can order it from here,
But they want to try it on you see 'can't you just order it in dear?'
Explaining you can't do that, they say 'well I'm not paying for it now in cash'
You tell them it's the only way before wanting to hit them with a hulk smash.
The fitting rooms are tidy and it's almost six o'clock,
But someone has a giant list to try on, like a stupid fucking cock.
They want a bloody fitting for a bra, as there's a party tonight,
And secretly we wish we could turn off the god damn light!
The doors are locked, the trees are in, everything seems quiet,
But someone is rattling on the doors like it's a frigging riot!
Staring at them getting arsey, like there a diva film star,
'not a chance mate!' we are thinking 'were off to the bloody bar!'
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
They glared at their watches and we prepared ourselves for war.
Opening the door we braced against the oncoming tide,
Action stations! Don't think there is anywhere you can run and hide.
The ladies all come running, running down the stairs,
So they can get fitted up for their lovely pairs.
They said they wanted support in them but no seams and no lace,
Demands that make up want to hit them round the bloody face.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
She said she doesn't like full cups, we say 'alright, wierdo'
And when we finish finding one she says that it's too low.
We say "d'you want a balconette? 'cause balconettes are best"
she says "I just want something to support my sagging chest"
Now we have a woman, who wants a fitting bad,
And when we tell her she has to wait she goes quite fucking mad.
We tempt her into trying on and offer her some help too,
And when she has all the bras we sell she asks "is that all you do?"
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
She nearly yelled at the bras she held and said "these don't fit right!"
But considering she's a forty she won't get in the others without a fight.
She asked for swimwear in "the biggest you've got!" for she was going away,
We all had mental breakdowns when she said the flights booked for the very next day.
They stick their heads out to try and get your attention,
Regardless of the fact your running round with the greatest intention.
They speak over you while your talking to someone else and doing up their bra,
Making you feel like running over them later with your car.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
Now you rush about the stockroom, seven bits of paper in your hand,
If only you were in a pub, or if they complained you could shout 'your banned!'
You give them everything they've asked for and a few bits more,
And then they don't say thank you, they just slam the bloody door.
They ask you what's in the sale as it's too much to pay for this,
And they have made a special trip to us all the way from Diss.
You wince a little inside but you say 'I'll see what I can find',
You come back with the one bra we have but they say they don't like that kind.
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
You tell them about the web sale and they can order it from here,
But they want to try it on you see 'can't you just order it in dear?'
Explaining you can't do that, they say 'well I'm not paying for it now in cash'
You tell them it's the only way before wanting to hit them with a hulk smash.
The fitting rooms are tidy and it's almost six o'clock,
But someone has a giant list to try on, like a stupid fucking cock.
They want a bloody fitting for a bra, as there's a party tonight,
And secretly we wish we could turn off the god damn light!
The doors are locked, the trees are in, everything seems quiet,
But someone is rattling on the doors like it's a frigging riot!
Staring at them getting arsey, like there a diva film star,
'not a chance mate!' we are thinking 'were off to the bloody bar!'
They call it service (serviceeeee!)
Where we all try and do our bloody best.
Hello?!?
Cust and her mum in a changing room EM can hear them talking
Cust: I dunno maybe I just need a different bra?
Cust mum: what do you want?
Cust: can you ask them for something padded in a 32ff...
(cust mum comes out and completely blanks EM, who is stood there facing the fitting rooms, and goes upstairs)
GP: (on radio) can you get a moulded bra in a 32ff
EM: (goes upstairs) what colour are you after?
GP: I don't think it matters, it's just for the lady trying on in number two to try on...
EM: ok...
(later mum comes back down)
Cust mum: the girl upstairs said you might have some White shirts in the stock room, could you have a look for my daughters size?
EM: what size is she looking for?
Cust mum: a 12 rc
(EM comes back with shirt)
EM: the closest one I had was a 12 super duper curvy
Cust mum: what does that mean?
EM: it's bigger than the really curvy by...
Cust mum: (interrupting) Emily! There's this one to try...
(later mum comes out again with the shirt)
Cust mum: this one was too big have you got another one?
EM: that was the closest one
Cust mum: did you have anything smaller?
EM: no. That was the smallest I had...
Cust mum: oh... It's too big...
Cust: I dunno maybe I just need a different bra?
Cust mum: what do you want?
Cust: can you ask them for something padded in a 32ff...
(cust mum comes out and completely blanks EM, who is stood there facing the fitting rooms, and goes upstairs)
GP: (on radio) can you get a moulded bra in a 32ff
EM: (goes upstairs) what colour are you after?
GP: I don't think it matters, it's just for the lady trying on in number two to try on...
EM: ok...
(later mum comes back down)
Cust mum: the girl upstairs said you might have some White shirts in the stock room, could you have a look for my daughters size?
EM: what size is she looking for?
Cust mum: a 12 rc
(EM comes back with shirt)
EM: the closest one I had was a 12 super duper curvy
Cust mum: what does that mean?
EM: it's bigger than the really curvy by...
Cust mum: (interrupting) Emily! There's this one to try...
(later mum comes out again with the shirt)
Cust mum: this one was too big have you got another one?
EM: that was the closest one
Cust mum: did you have anything smaller?
EM: no. That was the smallest I had...
Cust mum: oh... It's too big...
Any place is a desk
If you can balance something on it, it's a desk... Although the nursing bras is not the first place I would look for the office stationary...
What do you want?
EM: do you need another size or are they alright to try?
Cust: yes. (pause) I need another size and I would like to try them
EM: ok what size do you need?
Cust: a 36f. The lady buzzed down about me I'm Rachel
EM: oh so your here for a fitting... Let me get your fitter then...
Cust: yes. (pause) I need another size and I would like to try them
EM: ok what size do you need?
Cust: a 36f. The lady buzzed down about me I'm Rachel
EM: oh so your here for a fitting... Let me get your fitter then...
Bumwolf chain
EM, JH and JJ all in a row doing a bumwolf conga while going out of the stockroom door, out into the fitting rooms...
JH: (who was stuck in the middle) your wrong you are, the pair of you...
JH: (who was stuck in the middle) your wrong you are, the pair of you...
It's been a taxing Monday
(refit JH is doing is a honey-monster)
EM: what's the crack?
JH: she's massive, you know, when there so fat the bras just disappear into their flesh...she always wears non-wired and she asked to be fitted into a wired bra cos she's getting married. Oooh, think of the poor sod marrying that...
(cust to JH who was flapping her arms at the door because she wanted to be let in before we opened)
Cust: it's just not good enough that you open at ten. I have to travel to get here and it's an inconvenience. I need to be seen straight away, I'm in a rush I need to be in London this afternoon.
(it's an hours train ride away and she was done by 10:16)
(same customer as above to JH again)
Cust: See these red marks? I get these because I have arthritis...
(not because your a 40jj then?)
Cust: I'm looking for a halterneck bra, and a nude bra without wires. I find they are so uncomfortable if they have wires, they dig into my ribs after only a few hours.
EM: ok, let me just get your fitter
(in stockroom to JJ)
EM: I've got a fitting for you, she's after a halterneck thing..
JJ: ok, boring...
(later in stockroom)
JJ: she's after a non wired halterneck bra, she's crazy!
EM: yeah, I thought I would leave that bit out for you...
JJ: yeah thanks! She asked me if we had a halterneck bra with the straps like that, on an actual bra, errr, no! And then she asked if we had any non moulded strapless because she didn't want to look any bigger and I had to go through the difference between moulded and padded
EM: so what she wanted was a buses, softcup, halterneck bra
JJ: yeah!
EM: gaffer tape?!
EM: what's the crack?
JH: she's massive, you know, when there so fat the bras just disappear into their flesh...she always wears non-wired and she asked to be fitted into a wired bra cos she's getting married. Oooh, think of the poor sod marrying that...
(cust to JH who was flapping her arms at the door because she wanted to be let in before we opened)
Cust: it's just not good enough that you open at ten. I have to travel to get here and it's an inconvenience. I need to be seen straight away, I'm in a rush I need to be in London this afternoon.
(it's an hours train ride away and she was done by 10:16)
(same customer as above to JH again)
Cust: See these red marks? I get these because I have arthritis...
(not because your a 40jj then?)
Cust: I'm looking for a halterneck bra, and a nude bra without wires. I find they are so uncomfortable if they have wires, they dig into my ribs after only a few hours.
EM: ok, let me just get your fitter
(in stockroom to JJ)
EM: I've got a fitting for you, she's after a halterneck thing..
JJ: ok, boring...
(later in stockroom)
JJ: she's after a non wired halterneck bra, she's crazy!
EM: yeah, I thought I would leave that bit out for you...
JJ: yeah thanks! She asked me if we had a halterneck bra with the straps like that, on an actual bra, errr, no! And then she asked if we had any non moulded strapless because she didn't want to look any bigger and I had to go through the difference between moulded and padded
EM: so what she wanted was a buses, softcup, halterneck bra
JJ: yeah!
EM: gaffer tape?!
Sunday, 10 July 2011
We speako no englisho
Cust: can I have this in black and white?
JT: do you want two black ones as you already have the black one on?
Cust: no
JT: ok well I'll just get you the white one
Cust: and the black one
JT: you already have the black one so I'll just get you the white one
Cust: so where do I order them?
JT: you don't need to order them as you have them here
Cust: do they get sent to my house?
JT: you don't need to order them, you can take them home with you today as you have them in your hand
Cust: do you have any off the shoulder bras?
JT: do you mean strapless?
Cust: no
JT: ok, what do you mean?
Cust a bra with straps that sit on your arms not on your shoulders
JT: your best bet is a strapless, like the one you came in wearing
Cust: will that look ok with off the shoulder dresses?
JT: yep, as there are no straps
Cust: (comes to the desk after her fitting) can I go upstairs
EM: yes...
MR: has the fya1 been discontinued?
EM: yeah
MR: so if we haven't got it here that's it
EM: pretty much
MR: ah, this woman's very pushy
EM: she's very foreign, that might be why she seems pushy?
MR: no, she's very pushy and very foreign...
EM: oh dear, bad combination
JT: do you want two black ones as you already have the black one on?
Cust: no
JT: ok well I'll just get you the white one
Cust: and the black one
JT: you already have the black one so I'll just get you the white one
Cust: so where do I order them?
JT: you don't need to order them as you have them here
Cust: do they get sent to my house?
JT: you don't need to order them, you can take them home with you today as you have them in your hand
Cust: do you have any off the shoulder bras?
JT: do you mean strapless?
Cust: no
JT: ok, what do you mean?
Cust a bra with straps that sit on your arms not on your shoulders
JT: your best bet is a strapless, like the one you came in wearing
Cust: will that look ok with off the shoulder dresses?
JT: yep, as there are no straps
Cust: (comes to the desk after her fitting) can I go upstairs
EM: yes...
MR: has the fya1 been discontinued?
EM: yeah
MR: so if we haven't got it here that's it
EM: pretty much
MR: ah, this woman's very pushy
EM: she's very foreign, that might be why she seems pushy?
MR: no, she's very pushy and very foreign...
EM: oh dear, bad combination
Weekend woes
JT is in the toilet and over hears this lovely snippet of conversation
"I shagged a well ugly bird last night"
Cust: did you not have the other one?
EM: I didn't in the stockroom but I'm just checking if it's available, how was that one?
Cust: too big round the middle
EM: was the cup big?
Cust: no that looked ok
EM: (brings up web page) ok well then the 32e is available
Cust: the e would be too big
EM: If you go down a back size you go up in the cup and if that one was ok in the cup it would be the e in a 32 which is available
Cust: oh, well I'm usually a dd and the cup on this there was room when I pulled the back so a 32dd would be fine...
EM: ok... Well unfortunately the dd is sold out...
Cust: (trying on a be53) why have I got cleavage in this?
JT: it's because this is holding you by squeezing your boobs down and together, if you want you can try the cup size up?
(later)
Cust: I'm still getting cleavage! I don't want to get stared at in the gym, I get enough of that already...
JT: I'm going to get a minion holder...
HP: she keeps calling me a minion!
EM: and apparently there is a specially developed holder to put you in...
JT: a minion holder...
"I shagged a well ugly bird last night"
Cust: did you not have the other one?
EM: I didn't in the stockroom but I'm just checking if it's available, how was that one?
Cust: too big round the middle
EM: was the cup big?
Cust: no that looked ok
EM: (brings up web page) ok well then the 32e is available
Cust: the e would be too big
EM: If you go down a back size you go up in the cup and if that one was ok in the cup it would be the e in a 32 which is available
Cust: oh, well I'm usually a dd and the cup on this there was room when I pulled the back so a 32dd would be fine...
EM: ok... Well unfortunately the dd is sold out...
Cust: (trying on a be53) why have I got cleavage in this?
JT: it's because this is holding you by squeezing your boobs down and together, if you want you can try the cup size up?
(later)
Cust: I'm still getting cleavage! I don't want to get stared at in the gym, I get enough of that already...
JT: I'm going to get a minion holder...
HP: she keeps calling me a minion!
EM: and apparently there is a specially developed holder to put you in...
JT: a minion holder...
Friday, 8 July 2011
Lazy
Cust: I'd like to order this bra please
HS: ok... (shows up on the computer as having one in store)
Cust: I cant be bothered to carry a bag round today...
HS: ok... (shows up on the computer as having one in store)
Cust: I cant be bothered to carry a bag round today...
Thursday, 7 July 2011
VOM
EA: I think I'm wearing cotton pants today
(pulls at underwear)
EA: oh no that's my tights, (pulls right bit of underwear) there you go. Nice and cottony... Did you see the dust off my tights
JT: yeah, why do tights do that?
EA: well it's not dust it's skin...
(silence for a moment)
JT: that's gross... I've just breathed in your skin...
(sick in hand gesture)
(pulls at underwear)
EA: oh no that's my tights, (pulls right bit of underwear) there you go. Nice and cottony... Did you see the dust off my tights
JT: yeah, why do tights do that?
EA: well it's not dust it's skin...
(silence for a moment)
JT: that's gross... I've just breathed in your skin...
(sick in hand gesture)
Sneaking off
JT: ohhh... JJ and JH are sneaking off into the office... Wonder what there up to?
(JT goes from the stairs to the office to see what there doing)
JT: oi! I'm your carer and I leave you alone for five bloody minutes!
(never did find out what they were doing...)
(JT goes from the stairs to the office to see what there doing)
JT: oi! I'm your carer and I leave you alone for five bloody minutes!
(never did find out what they were doing...)
Could have been unfortunate...
EM opening the stockroom door (out onto the waiting area) with her arse just as JT opened it trying to come in.
All a bit racist...
Cust: what swimwear comes in a 28
EM: there's the black range...
Cust: (interrupting) I'm not a black person...
Cust: I want a t-shirt bra (hands over piece of paper with several written down) but I don't want them to make my boobs round, I don't want to look like a jungle bunny...
(later on in stockroom)
MR: if she wanted the alana we could have told her it comes in red and nigger brown... See what she says then...
EM: there's the black range...
Cust: (interrupting) I'm not a black person...
Cust: I want a t-shirt bra (hands over piece of paper with several written down) but I don't want them to make my boobs round, I don't want to look like a jungle bunny...
(later on in stockroom)
MR: if she wanted the alana we could have told her it comes in red and nigger brown... See what she says then...
I like big butts and I cannot lie...
Cust: (hold up a pair of bikini bottoms) I'd like these in a 12 curvy...
EM: they just come in standard dress sizes
Cust: oh, a 12 then... (looks at tag) which is what these are... (holds up swimsuit) and this in a 12 curvy
EM: they are done in bra sizes
Cust: ok, a 28... Do they even come in a 28?
EM: no, 30 is the smallest
Cust: ok then a 30ff
EM: they just come in standard dress sizes
Cust: oh, a 12 then... (looks at tag) which is what these are... (holds up swimsuit) and this in a 12 curvy
EM: they are done in bra sizes
Cust: ok, a 28... Do they even come in a 28?
EM: no, 30 is the smallest
Cust: ok then a 30ff
What do you want?
Cust: I want a fitting and then to get these (shows a selection of bras) and then this bikini (code and size written on a piece of paper) in whatever size I am
EM: ok, with that (points at paper) did you want me to get that for you to try on?
Cust: no I need a fitting...
EM: ok, that's fine I have someone now. Chances are you will need a different size to that any way...
Cust: quite...
WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU ASKED FOR IT IN THAT SIZE THEN!?!
EM: ok, with that (points at paper) did you want me to get that for you to try on?
Cust: no I need a fitting...
EM: ok, that's fine I have someone now. Chances are you will need a different size to that any way...
Cust: quite...
WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU ASKED FOR IT IN THAT SIZE THEN!?!
Lost and found
MR: (in stockroom) are you looking for something for Dawn? She won't let me start the fitting until you have found what your looking for...
EM: I'm not looking for anything, she didn't ask me to find anything... I told her I would find her fitter...
MR: ah, that's what it is then... (Talks to cust in fitting room) she was looking for me, shall we start...
EM: I'm not looking for anything, she didn't ask me to find anything... I told her I would find her fitter...
MR: ah, that's what it is then... (Talks to cust in fitting room) she was looking for me, shall we start...
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Late in the day
Cust: you can tell these bras were designed by men
JT: oh right?
Cust: the way you can tell is because the lace is always itchy
Cust: the problem I have is that bra straps always want to be here (moves her straps to the very edge of her shoulders) and I'm quite narrow on my shoulders
JT: that's ok, if we just move them in a bit and tighten them up so you can get two fingers underneath them (JT adjusts them)
Cust: see now they feel like they are really dragging on my shoulders...
JT: if we have them looser, that might be why they fall off. If they are loose enough to wiggle off during the day...
Cust: oh yeah, maybe...
Cust: can I just leave these (dresses) here and not buy them?
JT spies some sausage rolls and then dribbles (Pavlov's dogs style)
EM: did you just dribble?
JT: no... (wipes spot with foot) ...maybe...
JT: oh right?
Cust: the way you can tell is because the lace is always itchy
Cust: the problem I have is that bra straps always want to be here (moves her straps to the very edge of her shoulders) and I'm quite narrow on my shoulders
JT: that's ok, if we just move them in a bit and tighten them up so you can get two fingers underneath them (JT adjusts them)
Cust: see now they feel like they are really dragging on my shoulders...
JT: if we have them looser, that might be why they fall off. If they are loose enough to wiggle off during the day...
Cust: oh yeah, maybe...
Cust: can I just leave these (dresses) here and not buy them?
JT spies some sausage rolls and then dribbles (Pavlov's dogs style)
EM: did you just dribble?
JT: no... (wipes spot with foot) ...maybe...
Was that wise?
Customer ordered a swimsuit online, which was at another store, on the 16th of December to be delivered to her hotel in the cayman isles. It didn't arrive while she was there, as it was well after the last posting date for the rest of the world during the run up to Christmas and she has now kicked up a fuss.
Really?
Wtf? Who does that!
Really?
Wtf? Who does that!
I have a brain...errr...bra fitter free now...
Cust: I'm looking for a panache bra
JT: do you know what one
Cust: panache
JT: panache is a company, and we have lots of their bras
Cust: it's a 38h if that helps
JT: do you have it on?
Cust: yes I do
JT: do you want me to look at it and then I can work out what one it is
Cust: oh yes, you could do...
Cust: I want a 40b in this (Freya Eloise)
KM: we start from a d in our bras do you want a fitting?
Cust: I don't want a fitting, I don't want to do them like they say. can you get me a 40b?
KM: we don't stock any b cups did you want to try on a different size
Cust: can you get me a b from down stairs so I can see it and then I will know if it fits.
KM: I can get you an equivalent size...
(cust decided that a 34dd would fit)
Cust: I don't like soft bras... I want one with...errr... What's the word... Reinforcement.
(she meant wires)
JT: do you know what one
Cust: panache
JT: panache is a company, and we have lots of their bras
Cust: it's a 38h if that helps
JT: do you have it on?
Cust: yes I do
JT: do you want me to look at it and then I can work out what one it is
Cust: oh yes, you could do...
Cust: I want a 40b in this (Freya Eloise)
KM: we start from a d in our bras do you want a fitting?
Cust: I don't want a fitting, I don't want to do them like they say. can you get me a 40b?
KM: we don't stock any b cups did you want to try on a different size
Cust: can you get me a b from down stairs so I can see it and then I will know if it fits.
KM: I can get you an equivalent size...
(cust decided that a 34dd would fit)
Cust: I don't like soft bras... I want one with...errr... What's the word... Reinforcement.
(she meant wires)
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Race for brains day
Cust: I'm looking for a top that the girl upstairs said has been discontinued, I only bought it three weeks ago and it's not in this catalogue
EM: do you know what it's called?
Cust: she said that the 32g and gg had gone and I wanted a replacement as the one I had has faulty stitching but it's not in here and I only got it three weeks ago (flicks franticly through catalogue)
EM: that one is the high summer catalogue and it launched two weeks ago, did she tell you what it was called?
Cust: no but it's upstairs, it's got purple and turquoise spots on it
EM: is it Freya?
Cust: I don't know, it's a tankini...
EM: oh yes I know what one you mean... In that case it might be that those sizes have sold out from the company...
Cust: yes, probably... Do you have this blue bandeau dress here?
EM: yes we do
Cust: in a 32g or gg?
EM: its all done by dress sizes that one
Cust: there isn't a bra in it?
EM: no, the beach wear is designed to go over you swim wear...
Cust: oh, no. That's fine then. Don't worry...
Cust: (holding up blue palm leaf print dress) is this day wear or night wear?
EM: it depends on your fashion taste...
Cust: oh no, I meant is it a nightie?
EM: no, it's a dress...
(little bit confused as it's satin, are we???)
EM: can I help?
Cust: I... Want... To try this... (has bikini in her hand) do you have other styles down here?
EM: all the styles are upstairs but I do have more sizes in the stockroom...
Cust: (not listening to a word but starring at the mannequin with a bikini on) sorry what?
EM: we have more sizes in our stockroom but all the styles are upstairs
Cust: I quite like that one (points at mannequin) I'll just go and see if it's upstairs...
(cust comes down again without the bikini she pointed out and starts looking through the hanging rail and the crate)
EM: did you want to try that one? ('lipstick' Freya)
Cust: yes but I couldn't find the size upstairs
EM: we have more sizes in the stockroom, was there anything else upstairs that you had seen that you wanted to try?
Cust: oh I don't know, I'll go and have a look
EM: do you know what it's called?
Cust: she said that the 32g and gg had gone and I wanted a replacement as the one I had has faulty stitching but it's not in here and I only got it three weeks ago (flicks franticly through catalogue)
EM: that one is the high summer catalogue and it launched two weeks ago, did she tell you what it was called?
Cust: no but it's upstairs, it's got purple and turquoise spots on it
EM: is it Freya?
Cust: I don't know, it's a tankini...
EM: oh yes I know what one you mean... In that case it might be that those sizes have sold out from the company...
Cust: yes, probably... Do you have this blue bandeau dress here?
EM: yes we do
Cust: in a 32g or gg?
EM: its all done by dress sizes that one
Cust: there isn't a bra in it?
EM: no, the beach wear is designed to go over you swim wear...
Cust: oh, no. That's fine then. Don't worry...
Cust: (holding up blue palm leaf print dress) is this day wear or night wear?
EM: it depends on your fashion taste...
Cust: oh no, I meant is it a nightie?
EM: no, it's a dress...
(little bit confused as it's satin, are we???)
EM: can I help?
Cust: I... Want... To try this... (has bikini in her hand) do you have other styles down here?
EM: all the styles are upstairs but I do have more sizes in the stockroom...
Cust: (not listening to a word but starring at the mannequin with a bikini on) sorry what?
EM: we have more sizes in our stockroom but all the styles are upstairs
Cust: I quite like that one (points at mannequin) I'll just go and see if it's upstairs...
(cust comes down again without the bikini she pointed out and starts looking through the hanging rail and the crate)
EM: did you want to try that one? ('lipstick' Freya)
Cust: yes but I couldn't find the size upstairs
EM: we have more sizes in the stockroom, was there anything else upstairs that you had seen that you wanted to try?
Cust: oh I don't know, I'll go and have a look
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Magic
JT: I work magic
EM: how come?
JT: I got this girl to have a fitting and she was wearing a 36a and she was as small as GP...
EM: really?!
JT: yep, she was a 32d as she had really protruding ribs
EM: oh right...
JT: it's like your not that fat to be a 36
EM: and you wouldn't have boobs... Just nipples...
JT: yeah! She said 'oh my god! I've never been a d before!' and I was like yeah... You have...
EM: how come?
JT: I got this girl to have a fitting and she was wearing a 36a and she was as small as GP...
EM: really?!
JT: yep, she was a 32d as she had really protruding ribs
EM: oh right...
JT: it's like your not that fat to be a 36
EM: and you wouldn't have boobs... Just nipples...
JT: yeah! She said 'oh my god! I've never been a d before!' and I was like yeah... You have...
See through issues
Cust: (tries on the Freya Lauren) I don't like this it's too see through
MR: there is the option of having a replacement of what you already have (the png8)
Cust: no I hate it
(MR then asks JT for suggestions, the spotty blue/red is gone for as it's the only thing that's not see through and not the png8 as she's a 32jj)
Cust: does this come in black, white and nude?
MR: unfortunately it is just available in this colour at the moment
Cust: that's ridiculous, it should be in black, white and nude. I'm not happy with the print on this...
MR: there is the option of having a replacement of what you already have (the png8)
Cust: no I hate it
(MR then asks JT for suggestions, the spotty blue/red is gone for as it's the only thing that's not see through and not the png8 as she's a 32jj)
Cust: does this come in black, white and nude?
MR: unfortunately it is just available in this colour at the moment
Cust: that's ridiculous, it should be in black, white and nude. I'm not happy with the print on this...
Look and ye shall not find...
Cust: I'd like to try these two on in a 38g, I'm looking for something deep at the side and has three hooks on the back
EM: ok, let me go and have a look...
(checks stockroom and realises that only the ck04 and the Royce soft cups have 3 hooks in that size)
EM: I've bought you the 38gg as everything in the 38g has two hooks apart from this (holds ip ck04)
Cust: I'll try the others but not that as I don't want any padding
(she had looked through the sizes on display for each style and picked the ones that had three hooks as she thought that there were two and three hook versions available)
EM: ok, let me go and have a look...
(checks stockroom and realises that only the ck04 and the Royce soft cups have 3 hooks in that size)
EM: I've bought you the 38gg as everything in the 38g has two hooks apart from this (holds ip ck04)
Cust: I'll try the others but not that as I don't want any padding
(she had looked through the sizes on display for each style and picked the ones that had three hooks as she thought that there were two and three hook versions available)
What!?
Cust: I'm here for my fitting
KB: ahhh, we were expecting you back at ten to three but I can do a quick fit as I've got another lady due back in ten minutes
Cust: oh so I wasn't due at ten past?
(this customer asked what time she was due back twice when being booked in and was shown the time on the fitting sheet as she picked the time out of what was available!)
KB: ahhh, we were expecting you back at ten to three but I can do a quick fit as I've got another lady due back in ten minutes
Cust: oh so I wasn't due at ten past?
(this customer asked what time she was due back twice when being booked in and was shown the time on the fitting sheet as she picked the time out of what was available!)
The retards strike back
Cust: I usually have front fastening bras as I can't get my arms round to do them up behind me
MR: we don't do any front fastening ones but we can fit it nice and loose so you can turn it round
Cust: that's the problem, I can't do that either...
MR: ah... Well what shall we do?
Cust: have you got a tape measure? I just want to check if my rib cage has expanded as I'm struggling to get these 30HH done up (trying on pnm2 and pnk4, she came in wearing an fa60)
Cust1: I want the bikini tops to these bottoms and also any more like this (starts rubbing the pants to the electric zebra) something in a silky cotton... And I'll try the big spotty tankini if you have it
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: 32e
EM: ok, (turns to other customer) and your after this (takes paper)
Cust2: yes it's the tankini to match these (holds up the bottoms to the big spot tankini)
EM: ok I'll go and fetch these...
(EM comes back with everything)
EM: (to cust1) ok here are yours, if you want to go through to any of the first six that are free to try them (cust1 goes off)
Cust2: oh! I think you've got my tankini! (starts going off after cust1)
EM: (to cust2) and this is yours
Cust2: oh were trying on the same thing...
EM: yep...
Cust: I need a halterneck bra for a dress which I have with me, I've got the plunge one but I hate the moulding as I always fall out of it no matter what size I have...
EM: ok, well all the ones that we have at the moment are going to be moulded, there is one due in that's not moulded but (checks catalogue) it should have been in end of June but it's nit here yet
Cust: oh I hate moulding...
EM: what about this one (points in catalogue) it comes up over the bust...
Cust: ok, I'll give it a go in a 32ff
(bra given to cust who goes to try it after whinging a bit)
Cust: (with dress and pnk1 on) look it's just too high and I hate the moulding, it just creases on me...
MR: ah, EM anything you can suggest?
EM: unfortunately we only have moulded at the moment, I mean have you tried John Lewis?
Cust: yes they don't have anything
EM: rigby and peller?
Cust: oh... Maybe...
MR: we don't do any front fastening ones but we can fit it nice and loose so you can turn it round
Cust: that's the problem, I can't do that either...
MR: ah... Well what shall we do?
Cust: have you got a tape measure? I just want to check if my rib cage has expanded as I'm struggling to get these 30HH done up (trying on pnm2 and pnk4, she came in wearing an fa60)
Cust1: I want the bikini tops to these bottoms and also any more like this (starts rubbing the pants to the electric zebra) something in a silky cotton... And I'll try the big spotty tankini if you have it
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: 32e
EM: ok, (turns to other customer) and your after this (takes paper)
Cust2: yes it's the tankini to match these (holds up the bottoms to the big spot tankini)
EM: ok I'll go and fetch these...
(EM comes back with everything)
EM: (to cust1) ok here are yours, if you want to go through to any of the first six that are free to try them (cust1 goes off)
Cust2: oh! I think you've got my tankini! (starts going off after cust1)
EM: (to cust2) and this is yours
Cust2: oh were trying on the same thing...
EM: yep...
Cust: I need a halterneck bra for a dress which I have with me, I've got the plunge one but I hate the moulding as I always fall out of it no matter what size I have...
EM: ok, well all the ones that we have at the moment are going to be moulded, there is one due in that's not moulded but (checks catalogue) it should have been in end of June but it's nit here yet
Cust: oh I hate moulding...
EM: what about this one (points in catalogue) it comes up over the bust...
Cust: ok, I'll give it a go in a 32ff
(bra given to cust who goes to try it after whinging a bit)
Cust: (with dress and pnk1 on) look it's just too high and I hate the moulding, it just creases on me...
MR: ah, EM anything you can suggest?
EM: unfortunately we only have moulded at the moment, I mean have you tried John Lewis?
Cust: yes they don't have anything
EM: rigby and peller?
Cust: oh... Maybe...
Friday, 1 July 2011
The bird
A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
Fucktard Friday
JH: can you get this strap off here?
EM: I'll give it a go... (tries for 5 minutes) I don't think this is going to come off...
Cust: I've been trying and I can't do it either...
EM: well we could mail order you one...
Cust: I need to try it on
EM: it will be exactly the same as this...
Cust: I haven't tried this on again yet
EM: oh, well try this on as this strap will just hang down the back so it won't interfere with the front and then you can decide...
EM: how can I help?
Cust: I'd like to get some bikinis
EM: are these the ones you like? (looking at the two bikini briefs she has)
Cust: well what I'm looking for is something that isn't too moulded, the bottoms are completely plain, not tie side, I dont like ties but halternecks are ok.
EM: ok, what size are you looking for?
Cust: well I was fitted a week ago and I was a 32dd but some bras were too small so I needed a bigger size...
EM: (writes down 32dd) ok, I'll go and have a look for some
Cust: and I need the bottoms in about a 12, they should be fine don't you think?
EM: sure, is that what you have those in?
Cust: no, I think these are smalls whatever that means...
EM: that's about a 10
Cust: oh I didn't do very well then!
(EM finds bikinis for her to try and a bit later she asks for help)
Cust: what do you think to this?
EM: it looks a bit small, I think we might need to try a bigger size...
Cust: oh ok...
(EM comes back with bigger size and cust has another bikini on, again way too small)
Cust: what about this?
EM: again it's small
Cust: well I got this when I was fitted (picks up bra) and it's a...
EM: (looks at lable) 32f... So it's two cup sizes bigger than what your trying on...
Cust: it looks massive...
EM: try this as I only had an f in the stock room... (turns out to be perfect)
EM: I'll give it a go... (tries for 5 minutes) I don't think this is going to come off...
Cust: I've been trying and I can't do it either...
EM: well we could mail order you one...
Cust: I need to try it on
EM: it will be exactly the same as this...
Cust: I haven't tried this on again yet
EM: oh, well try this on as this strap will just hang down the back so it won't interfere with the front and then you can decide...
EM: how can I help?
Cust: I'd like to get some bikinis
EM: are these the ones you like? (looking at the two bikini briefs she has)
Cust: well what I'm looking for is something that isn't too moulded, the bottoms are completely plain, not tie side, I dont like ties but halternecks are ok.
EM: ok, what size are you looking for?
Cust: well I was fitted a week ago and I was a 32dd but some bras were too small so I needed a bigger size...
EM: (writes down 32dd) ok, I'll go and have a look for some
Cust: and I need the bottoms in about a 12, they should be fine don't you think?
EM: sure, is that what you have those in?
Cust: no, I think these are smalls whatever that means...
EM: that's about a 10
Cust: oh I didn't do very well then!
(EM finds bikinis for her to try and a bit later she asks for help)
Cust: what do you think to this?
EM: it looks a bit small, I think we might need to try a bigger size...
Cust: oh ok...
(EM comes back with bigger size and cust has another bikini on, again way too small)
Cust: what about this?
EM: again it's small
Cust: well I got this when I was fitted (picks up bra) and it's a...
EM: (looks at lable) 32f... So it's two cup sizes bigger than what your trying on...
Cust: it looks massive...
EM: try this as I only had an f in the stock room... (turns out to be perfect)
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