MR: The biggest spider ever ran across my living room floor last night. it stopped in the middle of the room and looked at me. They do have eyes don't they?
EM: What? Spiders? Yes...
MR: It was sat there on my polished floor and I was too scared to move, it was hilarious
EM: I see...
Saturday, 19 October 2013
I'm sure she will understand...
Cust: I know exactly what I want. I want a plunge. I need to tell you that I have asthma so I can't have them too tight
MO: Ok
Cust: I'm also breastfeeding five times a day
MO: Oh right, how old is she?
Cust: 18 months
MO: Ah, so are you stopping soon?
Cust: I need to have a discussion with her about that, she's too young to understand so I'll wait until she's two
MO:...I see...
MO: Ok
Cust: I'm also breastfeeding five times a day
MO: Oh right, how old is she?
Cust: 18 months
MO: Ah, so are you stopping soon?
Cust: I need to have a discussion with her about that, she's too young to understand so I'll wait until she's two
MO:...I see...
Jumping to conclusions
JB: Your customers seems really simple
FH: She's not simple! She's deaf!
JB: Hmmm, a bit simple too...
FH: No, no, not simple, just deaf!
FH: She's not simple! She's deaf!
JB: Hmmm, a bit simple too...
FH: No, no, not simple, just deaf!
You don't believe me do you?
EM: How can I help?
Cust: I want another one of the bras I had before
EM: Ok, is it the last one you bought and when you bought it did someone log your details?
Cust: Yes
EM: Ok, lets have a look
(EM has a look and finds the bra that the customer had before)
EM: You had that in white, do you want the exact same thing?
Cust: Yes
EM: Lovely, I'll go and get that for you
(EM goes and gets the bra in white, just as the customer asked for)
EM: Here you are!
Cust: Oh, I didn't want it in white I wanted black...
EM: Right... I'll go and get that for you
(EM runs off to get the black version)
EM: Sorry about that, here's the black one
Cust: Thank you
(Cust goes up the stairs, gets half way and comes back down)
Cust: I don't think this is the bra I had before, mine had three hooks on the back
EM: That would be the GG and above sizes that have three hooks
Cust: Ive just had to throw out all the ones I've been wearing as they are falling apart and they had three
EM: I can show you your records so you can see the last one you bought
Cust: Yes
(EM brings up the customers file)
EM: Here we are, around a year ago you bought this one in a 34G (shows cust the tag on the bra she has in her hand) which is the same code. Back in 2011 at around this time you had one in a 34GG and again same time but in 2010 you had a 32H. So this one is the most recent size you have had
Cust: I've had lots of different sizes, maybe I should just get fitted for one as I don't know what size I should get as the ones I have had three hooks and this only has two...
EM: Ok, let me see when they are free for you
(She ended up with the 34G...)
Cust: I want another one of the bras I had before
EM: Ok, is it the last one you bought and when you bought it did someone log your details?
Cust: Yes
EM: Ok, lets have a look
(EM has a look and finds the bra that the customer had before)
EM: You had that in white, do you want the exact same thing?
Cust: Yes
EM: Lovely, I'll go and get that for you
(EM goes and gets the bra in white, just as the customer asked for)
EM: Here you are!
Cust: Oh, I didn't want it in white I wanted black...
EM: Right... I'll go and get that for you
(EM runs off to get the black version)
EM: Sorry about that, here's the black one
Cust: Thank you
(Cust goes up the stairs, gets half way and comes back down)
Cust: I don't think this is the bra I had before, mine had three hooks on the back
EM: That would be the GG and above sizes that have three hooks
Cust: Ive just had to throw out all the ones I've been wearing as they are falling apart and they had three
EM: I can show you your records so you can see the last one you bought
Cust: Yes
(EM brings up the customers file)
EM: Here we are, around a year ago you bought this one in a 34G (shows cust the tag on the bra she has in her hand) which is the same code. Back in 2011 at around this time you had one in a 34GG and again same time but in 2010 you had a 32H. So this one is the most recent size you have had
Cust: I've had lots of different sizes, maybe I should just get fitted for one as I don't know what size I should get as the ones I have had three hooks and this only has two...
EM: Ok, let me see when they are free for you
(She ended up with the 34G...)
Saturday, 12 October 2013
No time
EM: do you want to create an account?
Cust: I won't today, I know they are very useful but I don't know yet if you are right for me
2nd Cust: (interrupting) Oh good! That takes forever!
(EM then takes her time processing her custs transaction and chats to her)
2nd Cust: I want to return this but I don't have the card anymore as I cancelled the account and I'm waiting for a new card.
AB: We could put it on a gift voucher for you?
2nd Cust: No. You already have my account details when I ordered this.
EM: We can only process items with the card as we have to put it through the chip and pin machine. Mail order don't because of long distance selling. We can post it back to the warehouse for you so they can process it.
2nd Cust: if you could. And I want a receipt to say that you're doing that.
EM: I'll write it on the receipt we have you when you paid for it in store.
2nd Cust: Won't you need the paper work?
EM: There is the invoice in the box (lifts up bra)
2nd Cust: oh I see...
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
Size
(Rather drunk vaigrant comes in)
Drunk: Tell me, what does a double K look like?
EM: It depends on the back size
Drunk: But what does it look like?
EM: It depends on the back size as cup size scales. So a 28KK will be smaller than a 40KK
Drunk: oh (walks out and shouts to someone outside) SHE SAID IT SCALES WITH THE BACK SIZE!
Drunk: Tell me, what does a double K look like?
EM: It depends on the back size
Drunk: But what does it look like?
EM: It depends on the back size as cup size scales. So a 28KK will be smaller than a 40KK
Drunk: oh (walks out and shouts to someone outside) SHE SAID IT SCALES WITH THE BACK SIZE!
Priorities are not quite right
EM: I have the lady for the fitting on her way down to you
CB: ok thanks
(Later)
CB: She had a beard...
EM: Yep, kinda reminded me of Craig Davids fish mouth thing
KG: I had to fit her! I've had hairy people, I've had fat people, I've had smelly people, I've never had all three in one go!
EM: She was smelly?
KG: yeah, she biked in for a bra fitting... She stank, her armpit hair was gross, I really didnt want to get her to lift up her arm so I could check the wire...
EM: She biked!?!
CB: The smell of B.O has only just gone...
KG: I deserve a medal for that. At least the smell distracted me from her beard. I didn't know where to look!
(later)
KG: Did you see that she left a comment in the book?
EM: No... What the actual fuck!
Friday, 4 October 2013
Too early in the morning for this!
(Discussing the lottery, as the price has doubled)
VG: So we need to think about cutting it down maybe
JH: Or if AH joins then it wont be as much. If it was an even number then we could do 4 lines?
VG: yeah, that would then make it £4 each
EM: So if AH joins are we getting her to pick some numbers?
JH: what?
EM: oh! Yeah, then she would be picking numbers and we get rid of them
VG: yeah, we don't need her to make 8 lines for us to be able to get rid of four, we just get rid of three to make four lines... Have you actually had a coffee today?
VG: So we need to think about cutting it down maybe
JH: Or if AH joins then it wont be as much. If it was an even number then we could do 4 lines?
VG: yeah, that would then make it £4 each
EM: So if AH joins are we getting her to pick some numbers?
JH: what?
EM: oh! Yeah, then she would be picking numbers and we get rid of them
VG: yeah, we don't need her to make 8 lines for us to be able to get rid of four, we just get rid of three to make four lines... Have you actually had a coffee today?
Monday, 30 September 2013
This is why you do your bras up at the back
So that they dont end up looking like you stood on it and tried to pick it up without taking your foot off it...
Saturday, 28 September 2013
I think you're confused
Cust: I want a black bikini in a 28JJ
EM: sure (writes down 28JJ on a notepad in front of cust) is it just the bikini you want in the double J?
Cust: yes
EM: I'll have a look for you
(Goes into stockroom, there is only a K or a HH)
EM: the closest I've got is a K
Cust: thats going to be far too big
EM: it's one cup size bigger than this (holds up paper so cust can see) or its a HH which is going to be two cup sizes smaller
Cust: have you got an F?
EM: an F? Thats seven cup sizes smaller than the double J you wanted...
Cust: I'll try it
(EM goes into the stockroom, theres a double F)
EM: try this one...
(Later)
EM: how did you get on?
Cust: it's a bit small but I'll take it
EM: ok...
Tuesday, 24 September 2013
Noaw!
(CB confirms with JB, who is downstairs, when the next fitting is)
CB: (to cust) I have booked you in for a fitting in 20 minutes. If you like you can wait downstairs or you can go out and come back in 20 minutes?
Cust: I'll sit downstairs
(Cust goes down, sees JB waiting to see who is coming down the stairs)
Cust: You're a fitter, you can take me through now
JB: I can't I'm afraid, but your fitter will be able to in 20 minutes...
Cust: Oh...
CB: (to cust) I have booked you in for a fitting in 20 minutes. If you like you can wait downstairs or you can go out and come back in 20 minutes?
Cust: I'll sit downstairs
(Cust goes down, sees JB waiting to see who is coming down the stairs)
Cust: You're a fitter, you can take me through now
JB: I can't I'm afraid, but your fitter will be able to in 20 minutes...
Cust: Oh...
Size denial
Cust: I'm looking for some bras in a 32DD
EM: Ok, were there any in particular?
Cust: Well, I was actually looking for the underwired Shock Absorber sports bra...
EM: We dont do that I'm afraid, we do have this Panache one and our own brand one
Cust: This one here? (points at the Panache)
EM: yes, thats the Panache and then the one below is our own brand
Cust: Why would anyone want padding in a sports bra!?! I've had your own brand and I hate it. It makes your boobs look really big and puts them under my chin, I dont know why anyone who is a 32DD would want their boobs to look any bigger...
EM: Oh
Cust: I've been a fitness instructor for years and I kept writing to Shock Absorber to get them to bring out a wired sports bra, "NO WIRES FOR SPORTS!" they said! And then they bring one out! They must have listened to me...
EM: Yes...
Cust: I think a 32DD is fine, I've put on seven or eight punds so I'm coming over a little bit but I know when I shit it they will be fine. (cust picks up three bras) So if I can try these in that size please
EM: Sure (checks, we have them, writes them down) Pop down with this and they can get them for you
(Later)
MO: That woman you sent down is mental. I took out all the 32DD's she asked for and none of them fit, shes more like a FF. She took one look at them and said that they all must be labled wrong as they looked far too small!
EM: What size are you putting her into?
MO: About 30G
EM: Jesus, she had a right episode about looking big for a 32DD in sports bras...
(Later)
Cust: I'll just take this, its a completely different size to what I have now.
EM: Brands do vary in size which sometimes isn't helpful
Cust: Why cant people just have a standard size? It's ok for men, if you are a 36 inch waist you can go in any shop and it fits! Bras must have been designed by men because they know women will put up with it
EM: Yes...
Cust: This is a 30FF (actually 32FF) and my bra is a 32DD and fits perfectly still...
(Checked history, 'perfectly fitting bra' which she admitted to falling out of is three years old...)
EM: Ok, were there any in particular?
Cust: Well, I was actually looking for the underwired Shock Absorber sports bra...
EM: We dont do that I'm afraid, we do have this Panache one and our own brand one
Cust: This one here? (points at the Panache)
EM: yes, thats the Panache and then the one below is our own brand
Cust: Why would anyone want padding in a sports bra!?! I've had your own brand and I hate it. It makes your boobs look really big and puts them under my chin, I dont know why anyone who is a 32DD would want their boobs to look any bigger...
EM: Oh
Cust: I've been a fitness instructor for years and I kept writing to Shock Absorber to get them to bring out a wired sports bra, "NO WIRES FOR SPORTS!" they said! And then they bring one out! They must have listened to me...
EM: Yes...
Cust: I think a 32DD is fine, I've put on seven or eight punds so I'm coming over a little bit but I know when I shit it they will be fine. (cust picks up three bras) So if I can try these in that size please
EM: Sure (checks, we have them, writes them down) Pop down with this and they can get them for you
(Later)
MO: That woman you sent down is mental. I took out all the 32DD's she asked for and none of them fit, shes more like a FF. She took one look at them and said that they all must be labled wrong as they looked far too small!
EM: What size are you putting her into?
MO: About 30G
EM: Jesus, she had a right episode about looking big for a 32DD in sports bras...
(Later)
Cust: I'll just take this, its a completely different size to what I have now.
EM: Brands do vary in size which sometimes isn't helpful
Cust: Why cant people just have a standard size? It's ok for men, if you are a 36 inch waist you can go in any shop and it fits! Bras must have been designed by men because they know women will put up with it
EM: Yes...
Cust: This is a 30FF (actually 32FF) and my bra is a 32DD and fits perfectly still...
(Checked history, 'perfectly fitting bra' which she admitted to falling out of is three years old...)
Not sure that's possible
Cust: I get all my bras from here, I've hurt my hand and cant do my bras up, do you have anything that fastens at the front?
EM: I'm really sorry but we don't
Cust: I thought you had one, I saw it on your website?
EM: We don't do any, you could try Debenhams or John Lewis?
Cust: I dont know where I was looking then... You dont have anything?
EM: Do you do your bras up at the back or do you turn them round?
Cust: At the back, I've tried turning them round but the style makes it impossible.
EM: You could try a bigger back size? That would make it easier...
Cust: No, I need it firm to support my bust, I want a nice shape, lots of lift but to do up at the front...
EM: Have you tried Triumph?
Cust: No, I'll give them a go...
EM: I'm really sorry but we don't
Cust: I thought you had one, I saw it on your website?
EM: We don't do any, you could try Debenhams or John Lewis?
Cust: I dont know where I was looking then... You dont have anything?
EM: Do you do your bras up at the back or do you turn them round?
Cust: At the back, I've tried turning them round but the style makes it impossible.
EM: You could try a bigger back size? That would make it easier...
Cust: No, I need it firm to support my bust, I want a nice shape, lots of lift but to do up at the front...
EM: Have you tried Triumph?
Cust: No, I'll give them a go...
Sunday, 15 September 2013
Not sure that works
FH: I've got my first driving test booked!
MR: I took five tests, they still don't know I've only got one eye
FH: well, lesson I mean, and its technically my seventh but they were so long ago they don't count
MR: (to EM) I bet you only took one test
EM: yeah
MR: I knew you would, it's because you're mechanical, good with machines and techy...
FH: aww, you machine, you...
MR: I took five tests, they still don't know I've only got one eye
FH: well, lesson I mean, and its technically my seventh but they were so long ago they don't count
MR: (to EM) I bet you only took one test
EM: yeah
MR: I knew you would, it's because you're mechanical, good with machines and techy...
FH: aww, you machine, you...
Wrong end of the stick
JB: people are so stupid today... Your lady seems really simple
FH: she's not simple she's deaf
JB: she still seems simple
FH: no she is actually deaf, I was explaining something to her and she ignored me and started talking about something else, so I worked it out
JB: she's simple
FH: no she's not! Just because she doesn't talk like a deaf person doesn't mean she's simple!
Later
JB: I hate people today...
FH: she's not simple she's deaf
JB: she still seems simple
FH: no she is actually deaf, I was explaining something to her and she ignored me and started talking about something else, so I worked it out
JB: she's simple
FH: no she's not! Just because she doesn't talk like a deaf person doesn't mean she's simple!
Later
JB: I hate people today...
Friday, 13 September 2013
What type of bra?
FH: a customer just asked to return a sports-less bra
EM: a sports bra?
FH: no sports-less
EM: did she mean it wasn't good for sports?
FH: nope
EM: did she mean support-less?
FH: nope, she definitely said sports-less
EM: she returned a sports bra?
FH: you'd think, it was a strapless
EM: how is that sports-less?
EM: a sports bra?
FH: no sports-less
EM: did she mean it wasn't good for sports?
FH: nope
EM: did she mean support-less?
FH: nope, she definitely said sports-less
EM: she returned a sports bra?
FH: you'd think, it was a strapless
EM: how is that sports-less?
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
Know thy codes
(Cust is looking through bras and asking FH to check for them)
FH: whats the code for the Purity?
EM: AU31 I think...
(Later)
FH: whats the code for the Melrose?
EM: SB25
(Later)
FH: whats the code for the Elodie?
EM: FAG7
FH: I knew that one, I was just testing
Cust: this one is like the one that came in black and gold isn't it?
EM: yeah
FH: black and gold?
EM: AU08
FH: stop it! You're making me look bad!
Cust: no, she's making herself look odd
FH: I like you, you can come back...
No boobs
Cust: my boobs are huge. I need a reduction...
FH: well actually, your boobs are the same size as mine
Cust: what! You don't look like you have boobs
(In the stockroom)
FH: my fitting just told me that she doesn't think I have any boobs! I might strip off and shake em at her... or put on a Deco and shimmy at her...
Tuesday, 10 September 2013
What they expect
Cust: my boyfriend put my sports bra in the washing machine and its ripped, I'd like to exchange it for another one please...
(And we did)
Need women again
(Man comes in stands in the doorway)
AH: hello! Need any help?
Man: I'm just thinking that I need to make a hareem and then buy all your bras...
AH: oh, best get started then!
Not p.c
(MR has got a cust in a dress and high heels and gets her to strut down to the big mirror, MR follows her and waits while the cust poses)
MR: the shoes are wonderful, lengthen the leg. I feel like a Corgi following an Afghan...
Need women
Not the first time this man came in...
(Man comes into the store, before being able to stop her, FH greets him)
FH: Hi there, can I help?
Man: Yes, I'm just thinking that I need to put a hareem together and buy all your bras...
FH: Ahh... (awkward silence)
Man: I see your window display has changed
FH: Yes we have new stock
Man: Yes we have window displays in Heffers that are in the back of the stockroom that we have to bring out...
FH: I see
Man: Do you know who this is singing?
FH: I don't, it's on a playlist
Man: You have a playlist?
FH: One that gets streamed through...
(Awkward silence again, Man is next to FH right in front of the till)
FH: So, is there anything I can help you with?
Man: No, I'm just working out what the song is...
FH: Ok then...
Man: Ah, 'Cheek to Cheek'
(Fiona goes off so she wont laugh, the man leaves)
FH: What did he just ask me?
EM: He wants a group of women so that he can put them in bras, thats HP's stalker. He's the one who said the exact same thing to AH the other day...
FH: Did he?!? I thought he was going on about those Aladdin trousers.... Why didnt you stop me from talking to him!?
EM: You were so eager to do work, you said hello before I could stop you!
FH: From now on, cough if I shouldnt be talking to someone...
EM: *cough*perv*cough*
FH: maybe a bit more like an actual cough
EM: *cough*
FH: Better
Jobs
FH: I had to give up 'pets at home' it was a good job, looking after animals (snuggles a pretend small pet) how would you like your hamster?
EM: barbecued?
EM: barbecued?
Give us a clue
FH: oh I don't have any luxury things! (Pinches her fingers together really quickly)
EM: luxury crabs??
EM: luxury crabs??
Appointment
EM: check out the name of the woman I've just booked in, this is what I heard and she spelt it for me
FH: on the phone? (Has a look at the screen) Bummmmm?
EM: I don't know how I didn't laugh
FH: not even Bum, it's Bummmmm
EM: that's what I heard
FH: B U M M?
EM: yeah
FH: sure it wasn't M N?
EM: I'm sure the first letter was B, it could have been Dumm but that's just as bad
FH: it's Dunn! D U N N! Search for her
(EM looks her up)
EM: there's no Bumm's
FH: now look for Dunn
EM: oh, there's one with a local post code so it must be her...
FH: I'm seriously questioning your skills as management...
EM: I'm going to leave it like that for funzies...
FH: on the phone? (Has a look at the screen) Bummmmm?
EM: I don't know how I didn't laugh
FH: not even Bum, it's Bummmmm
EM: that's what I heard
FH: B U M M?
EM: yeah
FH: sure it wasn't M N?
EM: I'm sure the first letter was B, it could have been Dumm but that's just as bad
FH: it's Dunn! D U N N! Search for her
(EM looks her up)
EM: there's no Bumm's
FH: now look for Dunn
EM: oh, there's one with a local post code so it must be her...
FH: I'm seriously questioning your skills as management...
EM: I'm going to leave it like that for funzies...
Sunday, 1 September 2013
101 reasons bras don't fit
A customer gave in theses lists of reasons a ton of bras didn't fit her or why she didn't like them...
Saturday, 31 August 2013
Fitter malfunction
FH: so, we don't fit with wires... No. That's wrong, it's been a long day
FH: all the support comes from the bottom...
FH: all the support comes from the bottom...
Thursday, 29 August 2013
I think you're mistaken
(VG is talking to another cust on the shop floor, this cust keeps trying to interrupt and gets huffy when the other cust keeps talking)
(VG's current customer steps back to look at something)
Cust: Right
(Current cust resumes talking)
Cust: huuufff
VG: if you want more sizes they can help you down stairs
(She goes down)
Cust: right, these are the right size (holds up the bikini bottoms) but I need the top
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: I'm a 38
EM: and cup size?
Cust: B
EM: ah, our styles start at a D cup
Cust: a D then
EM: have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: yes for bras
EM: ...ok. And were you looking for the tankini or the bikini or both?
Cust: the bikini, depends on how I look I might want the bikini
EM: ok, (shows cust to a room) I'll be back with the top
(EM goes to look in the stock room but can't find it, she's been gone a minute and MO comes in)
MO: there's a lady in number 6 yelling 'hello, hello? I don't want to be here all day!'
EM: oh bloody hell
(EM goes upstairs, smallest size she can find is a 38E)
EM: sorry, I had to go upstairs to have a look
Cust: I was told not to take anything from upstairs
EM: oh right... Unfortunately I don't have a D in stock at the moment but I have an E
Cust: that's huge, I won't fill that, look (holds it up to her boobs, that are in a spanx style camisole, so being squished down) its far too big, I shan't ask for these in a bigger size either, I'll leave it
EM: oh ok...
(VG's current customer steps back to look at something)
Cust: Right
(Current cust resumes talking)
Cust: huuufff
VG: if you want more sizes they can help you down stairs
(She goes down)
Cust: right, these are the right size (holds up the bikini bottoms) but I need the top
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: I'm a 38
EM: and cup size?
Cust: B
EM: ah, our styles start at a D cup
Cust: a D then
EM: have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: yes for bras
EM: ...ok. And were you looking for the tankini or the bikini or both?
Cust: the bikini, depends on how I look I might want the bikini
EM: ok, (shows cust to a room) I'll be back with the top
(EM goes to look in the stock room but can't find it, she's been gone a minute and MO comes in)
MO: there's a lady in number 6 yelling 'hello, hello? I don't want to be here all day!'
EM: oh bloody hell
(EM goes upstairs, smallest size she can find is a 38E)
EM: sorry, I had to go upstairs to have a look
Cust: I was told not to take anything from upstairs
EM: oh right... Unfortunately I don't have a D in stock at the moment but I have an E
Cust: that's huge, I won't fill that, look (holds it up to her boobs, that are in a spanx style camisole, so being squished down) its far too big, I shan't ask for these in a bigger size either, I'll leave it
EM: oh ok...
Monday, 26 August 2013
Sunday, 11 August 2013
Other issues
JE: my cust said that her hormones were causing her to break out in spots, more like all the crap she's eating from the look of her...
Friday, 9 August 2013
Rude
EM: can I just take your postcode please
Cust: (with venom) can't you just put it through the till?
EM: sure
(Gets to the payment part)
EM: if you just pop your card in, it will be ready for you in a second
(Cust puts pin in but makes a mistake. At the bottom of the screen it says 'CNL=NO ENT=OK')
Cust: (stabbing at the 'clear' button) a number hasn't gone in and your clear button isn't working
EM: if you press cancel, it takes it back one number at a time
Cust: well, thank. you.
(Receipt prints out)
EM: if you keep hold of these as I haven't been able to create an electronic receipt for you...
Cust: (again, with venom) just like a normal shop. Thanks.
EM: ok.
Cust: (with venom) can't you just put it through the till?
EM: sure
(Gets to the payment part)
EM: if you just pop your card in, it will be ready for you in a second
(Cust puts pin in but makes a mistake. At the bottom of the screen it says 'CNL=NO ENT=OK')
Cust: (stabbing at the 'clear' button) a number hasn't gone in and your clear button isn't working
EM: if you press cancel, it takes it back one number at a time
Cust: well, thank. you.
(Receipt prints out)
EM: if you keep hold of these as I haven't been able to create an electronic receipt for you...
Cust: (again, with venom) just like a normal shop. Thanks.
EM: ok.
Hiding
(Cust is trying on a dress)
Cust: this band isn't supposed to be around my waist? It's supposed to be under my boobs?
EM: yeah
Cust: it's very good at disguising my gin and tonic baby... And my vodka baby
Cust: this band isn't supposed to be around my waist? It's supposed to be under my boobs?
EM: yeah
Cust: it's very good at disguising my gin and tonic baby... And my vodka baby
Measuring
Cust: I measured myself last night and I'm a 33, so can I get these in a 34? (Hands over a load of bras)
JH: do you want a fitting?
Cust: no, I'll be fine with these in a 34
JH: ok...
JH: do you want a fitting?
Cust: no, I'll be fine with these in a 34
JH: ok...
Saturday, 3 August 2013
Not in that size
Cust: this one was quite tight in a 28G, so maybe I can have it in a 28GG? And this one was quite loose in the 30, I know they're the same style but maybe I can try them in other sizes?
EM: this style only goes up to a G
Cust: (holds up the other bra that was in a 30) maybe I can have this in a 30GG?
EM: they don't do GG's. If this one was tight, why don't we try this in a 30 and then the one that was loose in a 28...
Cust: oh! Yes! Ok!
EM: this style only goes up to a G
Cust: (holds up the other bra that was in a 30) maybe I can have this in a 30GG?
EM: they don't do GG's. If this one was tight, why don't we try this in a 30 and then the one that was loose in a 28...
Cust: oh! Yes! Ok!
That place
(Cust is trying on a bra that is far too small for her but won't listen to any advice. After a while she come out of the changing room)
EM: how did you get on?
Cust: no thanks it didn't fit, I'm going to go to that expensive place
EM: oh, ok
Cust: you know, Rigby and Peller...
EM: sure...
EM: how did you get on?
Cust: no thanks it didn't fit, I'm going to go to that expensive place
EM: oh, ok
Cust: you know, Rigby and Peller...
EM: sure...
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Wrong store
Cust: hello, is Emma working?
EM: I'm afraid we don't have an Emma here
Cust: well, what it is, is that I bought some bras in a 38B but when I got home one of them was a 38C, the girl was ever so good but I think there's been some sort of mix up and I've been given the wrong size. She fitted me up nicely and I got the white and the black in the right size of 38B but the cream one is the C and I thought that can't be right, so I checked the boxes and it was a C. (Cust pulls out a Triumph bag and gets out the boxes for the Doreen bras she bought, she starts to talk again without EM being able to get a word in edge ways) see here, this one is the right one, a 38B but this one is... If you look here on the label a 38C, that's what it says isn't it, Emma was very good but I think she just picked up the wrong box. It is a 38C on here isn't it?
EM: it is but we don't sell these...
Cust: oh. Oh... I want the Triumph shop. The lady here recommended I go there. I expect me to get in a muddle with things but it must have been her getting in a muddle too. I did wonder why you looked so surprised when I got these out.
EM: don't worry about it!
Cust: I shall go back and explain what has happened....
EM: I'm afraid we don't have an Emma here
Cust: well, what it is, is that I bought some bras in a 38B but when I got home one of them was a 38C, the girl was ever so good but I think there's been some sort of mix up and I've been given the wrong size. She fitted me up nicely and I got the white and the black in the right size of 38B but the cream one is the C and I thought that can't be right, so I checked the boxes and it was a C. (Cust pulls out a Triumph bag and gets out the boxes for the Doreen bras she bought, she starts to talk again without EM being able to get a word in edge ways) see here, this one is the right one, a 38B but this one is... If you look here on the label a 38C, that's what it says isn't it, Emma was very good but I think she just picked up the wrong box. It is a 38C on here isn't it?
EM: it is but we don't sell these...
Cust: oh. Oh... I want the Triumph shop. The lady here recommended I go there. I expect me to get in a muddle with things but it must have been her getting in a muddle too. I did wonder why you looked so surprised when I got these out.
EM: don't worry about it!
Cust: I shall go back and explain what has happened....
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
Just try it on
(EM is looking for a black and white bikini in a 36G, she can't find it so takes the same style in the same size, just in a different colour)
EM: who was after the 36G?
Cust: me, did you find it?
EM: unfortunately not but I've got this one for you to try for size
Cust: I wanted the other one
EM: I know, but if you try this on for size, then if we need a different size we might have the other one
(cust just looks blank)
EM: do you understand?
Cust: no
EM: this is the same style in a different colour. Try it on. If its too tight we can look for a bigger one. If its too loose we can look for a smaller one. But hopefully find them in the other colour...
Cust: oh, I tried a 34 and it was too small so that's why I wanted the 36
EM: so try this and if it fits we can order it for you
Cust: ok
EM: who was after the 36G?
Cust: me, did you find it?
EM: unfortunately not but I've got this one for you to try for size
Cust: I wanted the other one
EM: I know, but if you try this on for size, then if we need a different size we might have the other one
(cust just looks blank)
EM: do you understand?
Cust: no
EM: this is the same style in a different colour. Try it on. If its too tight we can look for a bigger one. If its too loose we can look for a smaller one. But hopefully find them in the other colour...
Cust: oh, I tried a 34 and it was too small so that's why I wanted the 36
EM: so try this and if it fits we can order it for you
Cust: ok
Not personal enough?
Cust: I need help with a swimsuit
VG: ok, I can see when the next fitting is?
Cust: no, I need personal help
VG: yes, a fitter will be able to help you individually
Cust: you're not listening to me
VG: here's MR, she will be able to help you
Cust: I want a swim suit which comes halfway down
MR: a plunge?
Cust: that's not what Rigby and Peller call them
MR: ok, was there one that you like?
Cust: (picks up a plunge bikini) I want this, in a tankini
MR: that one only comes in a bikini but if you would like to come into a room I can find your size and get a selection for you
Cust: I just want you to bring me some now
MR: but I don't know what to get you if I can't see what size you need
Cust: you're not listening to me, I just want you to bring some swimsuits
MR: ok then, what size are you?
Cust: why do you need to know my size!?
MR: so I can get them for you in your size
Cust: you're both being really unhelpful!
(Cust storms out)
VG: ok, I can see when the next fitting is?
Cust: no, I need personal help
VG: yes, a fitter will be able to help you individually
Cust: you're not listening to me
VG: here's MR, she will be able to help you
Cust: I want a swim suit which comes halfway down
MR: a plunge?
Cust: that's not what Rigby and Peller call them
MR: ok, was there one that you like?
Cust: (picks up a plunge bikini) I want this, in a tankini
MR: that one only comes in a bikini but if you would like to come into a room I can find your size and get a selection for you
Cust: I just want you to bring me some now
MR: but I don't know what to get you if I can't see what size you need
Cust: you're not listening to me, I just want you to bring some swimsuits
MR: ok then, what size are you?
Cust: why do you need to know my size!?
MR: so I can get them for you in your size
Cust: you're both being really unhelpful!
(Cust storms out)
Not getting the point
EM: do you understand how the sizing works?
Cust: yes... What does this size mean? (holds out the tag)
EM: so that is a size 14 across the shoulders and around the waist but a roomy size 14 on the bust
Cust: oh, that's how it works, and this one? (holds out another tag)
EM: that one is a size 18 across the shoulders and around the waist but a size 22 in the bust...
Cust: I don't really know what size I am
EM: it's all to do with what size you would take to get something fitting comfortably over your boobs and then what size you would take to get something to fit around your waist
Cust: I don't really know, I'm a size 10 or 12
EM: ok, so if you bought a size 10 shirt, would the buttons pull?
Cust: not really, I don't think I have that problem, is that what this is for?
EM: yes, it's so you can get something to fit everywhere and not need to go up many sizes to get anything done up
Cust: my problem is my hips
EM: right, so I would say try a 10 in the smallest size then
Cust: I've out on weight as I've just got back from holiday
EM: oh, ok
Cust: (pulls top up to show waistband of her jeans) I mean, these are a ten but there's room in these (looks like she should be a dress size smaller but there's no way she would get in an 8) so I don't know
EM: I see
Cust: (picks up a dress) this is lovely, but it looks like a thick dress, not very summery (it's a crochet dress) I doubt it's cotton (the crochet bit)
EM: let's have a look at the label and see (checks label inside dress) 100% cotton
Cust: but the lining isn't?
EM: no, because then the outside would ruche up and stick to it
Cust: oh, we'll I'll have a look around and see if there is anything I like
EM: ok, sure...
Cust: yes... What does this size mean? (holds out the tag)
EM: so that is a size 14 across the shoulders and around the waist but a roomy size 14 on the bust
Cust: oh, that's how it works, and this one? (holds out another tag)
EM: that one is a size 18 across the shoulders and around the waist but a size 22 in the bust...
Cust: I don't really know what size I am
EM: it's all to do with what size you would take to get something fitting comfortably over your boobs and then what size you would take to get something to fit around your waist
Cust: I don't really know, I'm a size 10 or 12
EM: ok, so if you bought a size 10 shirt, would the buttons pull?
Cust: not really, I don't think I have that problem, is that what this is for?
EM: yes, it's so you can get something to fit everywhere and not need to go up many sizes to get anything done up
Cust: my problem is my hips
EM: right, so I would say try a 10 in the smallest size then
Cust: I've out on weight as I've just got back from holiday
EM: oh, ok
Cust: (pulls top up to show waistband of her jeans) I mean, these are a ten but there's room in these (looks like she should be a dress size smaller but there's no way she would get in an 8) so I don't know
EM: I see
Cust: (picks up a dress) this is lovely, but it looks like a thick dress, not very summery (it's a crochet dress) I doubt it's cotton (the crochet bit)
EM: let's have a look at the label and see (checks label inside dress) 100% cotton
Cust: but the lining isn't?
EM: no, because then the outside would ruche up and stick to it
Cust: oh, we'll I'll have a look around and see if there is anything I like
EM: ok, sure...
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Try anything
Cust: I'd like to try these on
EM: Did you find the sizes you needed upstairs or would you like me to look for anything in the stockroom?
Cust: No, I found them
EM: Awesome! Go through to give them a try but call me if you need anything
(Later EM finds the bras that the cust tried on and takes them to the stock room)
EM: So, she didn't want me to look for any other sizes as she had what she needed... She tried on a 32F and a 28FF...
FH: As you do...
EM: Did you find the sizes you needed upstairs or would you like me to look for anything in the stockroom?
Cust: No, I found them
EM: Awesome! Go through to give them a try but call me if you need anything
(Later EM finds the bras that the cust tried on and takes them to the stock room)
EM: So, she didn't want me to look for any other sizes as she had what she needed... She tried on a 32F and a 28FF...
FH: As you do...
Shirt issues
(Cust has phoned four times before the store is open, on the fifth try EM picks it up)
EM: How can I help?
Cust: I was wondering if you had a shirt in stock, I was going to phone mail order but they are not open on Sundays are they?
EM: No they're not, what shirt were you looking for?
Cust: The white shirt if you have any, the white shirt thats for summer, with short sleeves, its white and very plain. Do you have it?
EM: We do, what size?
Cust: A 12
EM: A 12...?
Cust: No, a 10, the smallest size you do.
EM: Ok, I'm just going to put you on hold while I have a look
(EM checks the tag of one thats near by, does a check of the stock and sees that there isn't any in stock)
EM: I'm sorry but we don't have one here
Cust: I can always phone mail order tomorrow to check
EM: Ok...
Cust: one quick question, is it a 30 degree wash on the instructions?
EM: Let me go and check
(EM puts the cust on hold and has a look, grumbling about picking up the phone, VG overhears)
VG: Is it an old woman?
EM: Yeah
VG: Tell her you need to call her back or you will be on there all day
EM: I know...
(EM picks up the phone)
EM: It is a 30 wash
Cust: Do you have it? I put all my washing on a mixed cycle at 40 as its a terrible waste for just a few items to do it on 30, does it shrink
EM: I'm sorry but I don't know as no one here has it
Cust: Do you have other things?
EM: Yes..
Cust: do you wash them at 40? Are they ok or do they shrink terribly?
EM: They're fine at 40 but I would recommend that you follow the washing instructions as there is no guarantee that the shirt won't shrink
Cust: But you wash on 40 an they are fine?
EM: (Getting impatient) Yes, but I would advise that you follow the washing instructions as there is no...
Cust: But I'm asking if yours are fine
EM: As I said to you, mine are but we advise that you follow the washing instructions as there is no guarantee that the shirt will not shrink...
Cust: I see... I will phone and order it tomorrow
EM: Bye.
(EM then checks the washing instructions on her dress, it recommends a 40 degree wash...)
EM: How can I help?
Cust: I was wondering if you had a shirt in stock, I was going to phone mail order but they are not open on Sundays are they?
EM: No they're not, what shirt were you looking for?
Cust: The white shirt if you have any, the white shirt thats for summer, with short sleeves, its white and very plain. Do you have it?
EM: We do, what size?
Cust: A 12
EM: A 12...?
Cust: No, a 10, the smallest size you do.
EM: Ok, I'm just going to put you on hold while I have a look
(EM checks the tag of one thats near by, does a check of the stock and sees that there isn't any in stock)
EM: I'm sorry but we don't have one here
Cust: I can always phone mail order tomorrow to check
EM: Ok...
Cust: one quick question, is it a 30 degree wash on the instructions?
EM: Let me go and check
(EM puts the cust on hold and has a look, grumbling about picking up the phone, VG overhears)
VG: Is it an old woman?
EM: Yeah
VG: Tell her you need to call her back or you will be on there all day
EM: I know...
(EM picks up the phone)
EM: It is a 30 wash
Cust: Do you have it? I put all my washing on a mixed cycle at 40 as its a terrible waste for just a few items to do it on 30, does it shrink
EM: I'm sorry but I don't know as no one here has it
Cust: Do you have other things?
EM: Yes..
Cust: do you wash them at 40? Are they ok or do they shrink terribly?
EM: They're fine at 40 but I would recommend that you follow the washing instructions as there is no guarantee that the shirt won't shrink
Cust: But you wash on 40 an they are fine?
EM: (Getting impatient) Yes, but I would advise that you follow the washing instructions as there is no...
Cust: But I'm asking if yours are fine
EM: As I said to you, mine are but we advise that you follow the washing instructions as there is no guarantee that the shirt will not shrink...
Cust: I see... I will phone and order it tomorrow
EM: Bye.
(EM then checks the washing instructions on her dress, it recommends a 40 degree wash...)
Worn out quickly
Cust: I want to exchange these bikini bottoms as they have worn out quickly... (the arse has gone see through where the elastic has gone)
JB: I can see that you have had these a year and they're not chlorine resistant so they have done very well...
Cust: But I hand wash them
JB: These are also the second pair you have had as you returned a pair a last year for exactly the same reason after having them a year...
Cust: But the top is fine
JB: The top is made of thicker fabric. if these stretch, which it looks like they have done then the elastic will go, as it has done. I can't swap them for you again as there is nothing wrong with them apart from the fact that they are old. There isn't any guarantee that if you took another pair that they wouldn't do the same thing in another year...
Cust: Well in that case, the ones I bought on Friday I would like to return...
JB: Thats fine
JB: I can see that you have had these a year and they're not chlorine resistant so they have done very well...
Cust: But I hand wash them
JB: These are also the second pair you have had as you returned a pair a last year for exactly the same reason after having them a year...
Cust: But the top is fine
JB: The top is made of thicker fabric. if these stretch, which it looks like they have done then the elastic will go, as it has done. I can't swap them for you again as there is nothing wrong with them apart from the fact that they are old. There isn't any guarantee that if you took another pair that they wouldn't do the same thing in another year...
Cust: Well in that case, the ones I bought on Friday I would like to return...
JB: Thats fine
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Iron woman
Cust: I don't use a washing machine or a tumble dryer
AH: do you dry it on a radiator?
Cust: no
AH: this has melted. It would only do that with high heat or friction (shows cust the melted fabric)
Cust: I don't know how that would have happened
AH: neither do I...
AH: do you dry it on a radiator?
Cust: no
AH: this has melted. It would only do that with high heat or friction (shows cust the melted fabric)
Cust: I don't know how that would have happened
AH: neither do I...
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Didn't have to wait too long for someone special
Cust: I want these two but I can't remember what size I had them in (holds up a deco and a juna) if I asked for a black plunge this would be the only one
EM: well...
Cust: there's only one deco?
EM: yes
Cust: ok, can I have the deco in a 32E and this one (points at the Juna) in a 30F, as my fitter told me that it comes up bigger
EM: yep, did you want to try them on to make sure?
Cust: I can try them at home can't I?
EM: sure, just keep the tags on and within 28 days, I'll just go and get them
(EM gets them and when she comes back up the cust is talking to CW, EM puts another customers transaction through, CW then hops on the till)
CW: ok so that's £53 to pay please
Cust: oh, what? Why is it that much?
CW: this one (deco) is £30 and this one is £23
Cust: that's not right, my fitter told me it was £26 for that (deco)
EM: there's another plunge, the panache one that's 26?
Cust: is there?
CW: who was your fitter?
Cust: she was short, had dark hair
EM: sounds like KG (opens the catalogue) it's this one, it's £26 (points at the price to prove it)
Cust: do you have a picture of the other one (deco, the one she has in front of her)
EM: yes, it's here
Cust: is it that shiny? (Porcelain)
EM: let me get the the porcelain one...
(EM brings it over)
Cust: yes, that's it, I didn't remember the one I tried on having any bows
EM: ok, I'll get this in a 32E as that's the size you wanted this one in (deco)
(While EM is downstairs she gets told to take the bra up in a 32E, she then gets upstairs)
EM: (to CW) did you just phone about this in a 32E?
CW: yeah
EM: (to cust) that's the size I was getting for you
Cust: I thought you were getting a different size, I didn't want you to make another trip
EM: nope
(CW finishes the sale, then later when JE was on the shop floor)
EM: that girl was a knob
JE: she came in yesterday and got pissy when she asked for a fitting and it was going to be in 20 minutes, she said 'that's rubbish, it should only take three minutes' and then started kissing her boyfriend for five minutes on the sofa...
EM: well...
Cust: there's only one deco?
EM: yes
Cust: ok, can I have the deco in a 32E and this one (points at the Juna) in a 30F, as my fitter told me that it comes up bigger
EM: yep, did you want to try them on to make sure?
Cust: I can try them at home can't I?
EM: sure, just keep the tags on and within 28 days, I'll just go and get them
(EM gets them and when she comes back up the cust is talking to CW, EM puts another customers transaction through, CW then hops on the till)
CW: ok so that's £53 to pay please
Cust: oh, what? Why is it that much?
CW: this one (deco) is £30 and this one is £23
Cust: that's not right, my fitter told me it was £26 for that (deco)
EM: there's another plunge, the panache one that's 26?
Cust: is there?
CW: who was your fitter?
Cust: she was short, had dark hair
EM: sounds like KG (opens the catalogue) it's this one, it's £26 (points at the price to prove it)
Cust: do you have a picture of the other one (deco, the one she has in front of her)
EM: yes, it's here
Cust: is it that shiny? (Porcelain)
EM: let me get the the porcelain one...
(EM brings it over)
Cust: yes, that's it, I didn't remember the one I tried on having any bows
EM: ok, I'll get this in a 32E as that's the size you wanted this one in (deco)
(While EM is downstairs she gets told to take the bra up in a 32E, she then gets upstairs)
EM: (to CW) did you just phone about this in a 32E?
CW: yeah
EM: (to cust) that's the size I was getting for you
Cust: I thought you were getting a different size, I didn't want you to make another trip
EM: nope
(CW finishes the sale, then later when JE was on the shop floor)
EM: that girl was a knob
JE: she came in yesterday and got pissy when she asked for a fitting and it was going to be in 20 minutes, she said 'that's rubbish, it should only take three minutes' and then started kissing her boyfriend for five minutes on the sofa...
Sunday, 2 June 2013
It can be the staff too
(While walking through town)
JB: I don't understand this shop, how do you get in?
EM: (pointing) through the door?
JB: I don't understand this shop, how do you get in?
EM: (pointing) through the door?
Deal with it
Cust: I don't like all of this (flicks her back fat around)
EM: this is the same back size as what you were wearing...
Cust: is it?
EM: yeah, we can try a 40 if you want?
Cust: 40? That's big isn't it?
EM: yes. It's big
(In the stockroom)
EM: I'm having problems because she's complaining about back fat with everything
VG: and your picking out 38's... Right... So it's because she's fat?
EM: but she won't try a 40 because that's big. You're just fat, DEAL WITH IT!
EM: this is the same back size as what you were wearing...
Cust: is it?
EM: yeah, we can try a 40 if you want?
Cust: 40? That's big isn't it?
EM: yes. It's big
(In the stockroom)
EM: I'm having problems because she's complaining about back fat with everything
VG: and your picking out 38's... Right... So it's because she's fat?
EM: but she won't try a 40 because that's big. You're just fat, DEAL WITH IT!
Monday, 20 May 2013
Would you say that?
Cust: oh! I didn't see that bump from behind there!
AH1: Hahahaha
(Upstairs)
Cust: is that lady downstairs pregnant?
AH2: what one? (A cust for a maternity fitting had just gone down)
Cust: the lady with the blonde hair (AH1)
AH2: no, she's not
Cust: oh! Oh god, I'm so embarrassed!
AH2: yeah...
AH1: Hahahaha
(Upstairs)
Cust: is that lady downstairs pregnant?
AH2: what one? (A cust for a maternity fitting had just gone down)
Cust: the lady with the blonde hair (AH1)
AH2: no, she's not
Cust: oh! Oh god, I'm so embarrassed!
AH2: yeah...
Description crisis
Oh the joys of words being used to describe something completely wrong...
It brings tears of joy to LITBD's eyes.
A full cup. Plunge...? It either covers your tits or it doesn't. LITBD is going for the latter...
Another full cup. Because this completely covers you and would be so obvious under v-neck tops. Or would it...
Only half of her boobs are covered... LITBD could draw a boobs covered/boobs uncovered pie-chart type thing on here but that would imply the people reading this are as dumb as the website it came from expects you to be...
It brings tears of joy to LITBD's eyes.
A full cup. Plunge...? It either covers your tits or it doesn't. LITBD is going for the latter...
Another full cup. Because this completely covers you and would be so obvious under v-neck tops. Or would it...
Only half of her boobs are covered... LITBD could draw a boobs covered/boobs uncovered pie-chart type thing on here but that would imply the people reading this are as dumb as the website it came from expects you to be...
So special
(Cust and her mum come in at about 11am)
Cust: do they have it?
Custs mum: they do! (picks up a bikini) do you have this in a 32FF?
EM: yeah, did you want to try it on?
Custs mum: yes please
EM: sure... (goes to look for a pad to write the item down)
Cust: I'd like to book a fitting
EM: sure, for what day?
Cust: today, but now if I can as I have to catch a bus so I need to be quick. The thing is I've been measured before and I'm a 30FF here but I've been to Debenhams and I can wear a 32FF so I'm confused...
EM: yep, all bras fit differently so you won't just be one size so that's why
Cust: I just want to be measured again so I know what size I am
EM: ok, I'll go down and get the bikini top and find out when the fitters are free
Custs mum: is there a top as I can't find one here
EM: I'm going to get it from the stock room for you
Cust mum: oh, you have more
Cust: shall I wait here?
Custs mum: you can wait down stairs
(Down stairs)
EM: ok, I'll be back in a second
(In stock room)
EM: have I got a fitter free?
JH: I can do it
EM: she's not got a lot if time (JH goes to the door to take her through) and she's a bit of a retard, sorry
JH: oh thanks...
(EM gets the bikini for the mum and overhears the cust telling JH about being confused)
JH: all bras come up differently depending on the brand so you won't just be one size...
Cust: yeah, I'm just confused about it so I want to find out
(Later, in the stock room)
EM: how's it going?
JH: you didn't lie did you?
EM: huh?
JH: about her being a retard
EM: oh! Yeah... Are they in a rush?
JH: their bus isn't until 12:30...
Cust: do they have it?
Custs mum: they do! (picks up a bikini) do you have this in a 32FF?
EM: yeah, did you want to try it on?
Custs mum: yes please
EM: sure... (goes to look for a pad to write the item down)
Cust: I'd like to book a fitting
EM: sure, for what day?
Cust: today, but now if I can as I have to catch a bus so I need to be quick. The thing is I've been measured before and I'm a 30FF here but I've been to Debenhams and I can wear a 32FF so I'm confused...
EM: yep, all bras fit differently so you won't just be one size so that's why
Cust: I just want to be measured again so I know what size I am
EM: ok, I'll go down and get the bikini top and find out when the fitters are free
Custs mum: is there a top as I can't find one here
EM: I'm going to get it from the stock room for you
Cust mum: oh, you have more
Cust: shall I wait here?
Custs mum: you can wait down stairs
(Down stairs)
EM: ok, I'll be back in a second
(In stock room)
EM: have I got a fitter free?
JH: I can do it
EM: she's not got a lot if time (JH goes to the door to take her through) and she's a bit of a retard, sorry
JH: oh thanks...
(EM gets the bikini for the mum and overhears the cust telling JH about being confused)
JH: all bras come up differently depending on the brand so you won't just be one size...
Cust: yeah, I'm just confused about it so I want to find out
(Later, in the stock room)
EM: how's it going?
JH: you didn't lie did you?
EM: huh?
JH: about her being a retard
EM: oh! Yeah... Are they in a rush?
JH: their bus isn't until 12:30...
Phone call
(Cust on the phone)
Cust: I need to book in my daughter for a fitting. She needs your shop I think as your a specialist for bigger bras?
EM: yes, we specialise in normal back sizes just bigger cup sizes
Cust: good, that's what she needs
(EM books the daughter in)
Cust: do you know of a specialist shop for small bras, I'm the opposite of her
EM: there's not any specialist ones here
Cust: oh, I need small bras, you would have thought there would have been
EM: what size do you wear?
Cust: I'm a 32B
EM: I think pretty much every other lingerie retailer will stock that size
Cust: oh, I get what your saying...
Cust: I need to book in my daughter for a fitting. She needs your shop I think as your a specialist for bigger bras?
EM: yes, we specialise in normal back sizes just bigger cup sizes
Cust: good, that's what she needs
(EM books the daughter in)
Cust: do you know of a specialist shop for small bras, I'm the opposite of her
EM: there's not any specialist ones here
Cust: oh, I need small bras, you would have thought there would have been
EM: what size do you wear?
Cust: I'm a 32B
EM: I think pretty much every other lingerie retailer will stock that size
Cust: oh, I get what your saying...
Money shot
Oh Avon... Bra so small it's being pulled off her boobs and you didn't photoshop out the extra pair of pants she's wearing under the ones for the set...
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Squinting
Cust: I can't find my size, do you have more?
EM: yeah
Cust: how does this work? Shall I just point them out and tell you my size?
EM: sure
Cust: I'm a 34F and want to try... (puts her face four inches from the catalogue) this (points at the Melrose) in black and this in white (points at the Faye) I'm after something with thick straps...
EM: Fantasie tend to have thick straps
Cust: and a rounded shape
EM: ok, do you want me to have a look in the stock room for some others too?
Cust: yeah
(EM goes and gets some while the cust is trying on some tops)
EM: (knocks) I've got your bras
Cust: thank you. I've also seen this one (points at Alana) and (puts the catalogue up to her nose to look at a bra, the Gem) is this the bra I asked you for before?
EM: nope, but I'll go and get it for you
EM: yeah
Cust: how does this work? Shall I just point them out and tell you my size?
EM: sure
Cust: I'm a 34F and want to try... (puts her face four inches from the catalogue) this (points at the Melrose) in black and this in white (points at the Faye) I'm after something with thick straps...
EM: Fantasie tend to have thick straps
Cust: and a rounded shape
EM: ok, do you want me to have a look in the stock room for some others too?
Cust: yeah
(EM goes and gets some while the cust is trying on some tops)
EM: (knocks) I've got your bras
Cust: thank you. I've also seen this one (points at Alana) and (puts the catalogue up to her nose to look at a bra, the Gem) is this the bra I asked you for before?
EM: nope, but I'll go and get it for you
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Taking the piss
(EM comes upstairs just as JB is helping KG with a damaged return)
JB: the only thing I can think of it that it's stretched too much and ripped... (JB forces the wire out) how has it been washed?
Cust: everything goes into a 30 degree wash in my house
JB: ah... That might be why all our bras are handwash only
Cust: if I'd have known that I wouldn't have bought anything from you
JB: it's all wired bras are handwash. The heat from a washing machine can also melt the plastic on the wires and that's why they come out too
EM: (closes the return summery to look at the purchase date as its a really old bra) November 2011?
JB: yeah, I have said that
Cust: I would have expected that it would have a guarantee. I'll write to your head office
EM: ok. All our bras state hand wash only on the care guide on the labels
JB: I think it would be best to leave you with EM as she's in charge...
EM: because of the age of it, from 2011 and it's heat damaged ordinarily we wouldn't exchange it. However, I'm happy to do it this once today. In future anything this old or in this condition we wouldn't swap or refund again...
Cust: I'd like to exchange it, do you have another one?
EM: we don't because its so old...
JB: the only thing I can think of it that it's stretched too much and ripped... (JB forces the wire out) how has it been washed?
Cust: everything goes into a 30 degree wash in my house
JB: ah... That might be why all our bras are handwash only
Cust: if I'd have known that I wouldn't have bought anything from you
JB: it's all wired bras are handwash. The heat from a washing machine can also melt the plastic on the wires and that's why they come out too
EM: (closes the return summery to look at the purchase date as its a really old bra) November 2011?
JB: yeah, I have said that
Cust: I would have expected that it would have a guarantee. I'll write to your head office
EM: ok. All our bras state hand wash only on the care guide on the labels
JB: I think it would be best to leave you with EM as she's in charge...
EM: because of the age of it, from 2011 and it's heat damaged ordinarily we wouldn't exchange it. However, I'm happy to do it this once today. In future anything this old or in this condition we wouldn't swap or refund again...
Cust: I'd like to exchange it, do you have another one?
EM: we don't because its so old...
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
What I mean is...
Cust: how do you get any help down there? There's no one around...
EM: oh, there are ladies down there, they're possibly helping other customers. I've phoned them to let them know you were going down...
Cust: I can't wait. I've been waiting ten minutes already...
EM: oh... Ok then...
(Later)
EM: did you see the big fat lady, cropped grey hair, green coat?
VG: yeah, has she gone?
EM: did anyone help her? She's walked out after saying she's been waiting ten minutes
VG: what the actual! She was propped up by the desk and I asked her if she needed any help and she said no!
EM: she said there was no one down there...
VG: she said no and then I asked the woman right next to her and got her stuff... Oh, maybe I asked her if she was being helped... Either way what ever she said was telling me she was fine and didn't need me
EM: well, she's gone, because she couldn't wait anymore, for the help she was offered... What a knob
VG: I hate people!
EM: oh, there are ladies down there, they're possibly helping other customers. I've phoned them to let them know you were going down...
Cust: I can't wait. I've been waiting ten minutes already...
EM: oh... Ok then...
(Later)
EM: did you see the big fat lady, cropped grey hair, green coat?
VG: yeah, has she gone?
EM: did anyone help her? She's walked out after saying she's been waiting ten minutes
VG: what the actual! She was propped up by the desk and I asked her if she needed any help and she said no!
EM: she said there was no one down there...
VG: she said no and then I asked the woman right next to her and got her stuff... Oh, maybe I asked her if she was being helped... Either way what ever she said was telling me she was fine and didn't need me
EM: well, she's gone, because she couldn't wait anymore, for the help she was offered... What a knob
VG: I hate people!
Check and double check
Cust: I want a tango balconette in white in a 36GG, two of them
EM: (checks for her) we should have three in stock so I'll get two for you.
(EM goes and gets them, then puts them on the till for her while she takes her details)
Cust: I just want to check you've got the right size. I don't want to get home and find they are wrong... (She checks the tags) ok... (She folds them back up) I just want to check they are both balconettes... You'll probably hate me... (She checks the tags)
EM: they are...
Cust: ok
EM: (checks for her) we should have three in stock so I'll get two for you.
(EM goes and gets them, then puts them on the till for her while she takes her details)
Cust: I just want to check you've got the right size. I don't want to get home and find they are wrong... (She checks the tags) ok... (She folds them back up) I just want to check they are both balconettes... You'll probably hate me... (She checks the tags)
EM: they are...
Cust: ok
Just pay
Cust puts a dress on the till...
AH: have you shopped with us before?
Cust: no
AH: if I can just take a few details to set you up on the system, it just means that if you want to return it then everything is there already for you
Cust: (sarcastically) can't I just pay for it?
AH: yes, of course
Cust: (with more sarcasm) thank you...
AH: have you shopped with us before?
Cust: no
AH: if I can just take a few details to set you up on the system, it just means that if you want to return it then everything is there already for you
Cust: (sarcastically) can't I just pay for it?
AH: yes, of course
Cust: (with more sarcasm) thank you...
Friday, 26 April 2013
So many ill fitting bras, so little time...
So after stalking twitter, @BraFitPolice (quite similar to our twitter feed, but probably updated more frequently) had a link to this bra database.
Amazing entry and lack of logic for this user Curvy Kate Bra.
Its quite amusing, but also a good idea, if you dont mind wearing someone elses bra, and or pants...
Just a thought...
Amazing entry and lack of logic for this user Curvy Kate Bra.
Its quite amusing, but also a good idea, if you dont mind wearing someone elses bra, and or pants...
Just a thought...
Why?
A breast shape database...
Because if youre boobs 'look' like someone elses, then the same bras are going to fit you...
Of course! Why wouldnt they! They might as well fire all the prefessional bra fitters now! (and by bra fitters, I mean the people who actually fit yuou into bras, not just lasso you with a tape measure and then sent you on your way...)
Photograph your tits!
Because if youre boobs 'look' like someone elses, then the same bras are going to fit you...
Of course! Why wouldnt they! They might as well fire all the prefessional bra fitters now! (and by bra fitters, I mean the people who actually fit yuou into bras, not just lasso you with a tape measure and then sent you on your way...)
Photograph your tits!
Happy Belated Birthday!
LITBD just realised that Bra Police had its 3rd birthday on the 28th of Feb. So while being a little late (LITBD says they were stunned by bras and didnt notice at the time) the birthday celebrations can commence!
Also, over 10,000 page views. Hello customer haters! We salute you!
Also, over 10,000 page views. Hello customer haters! We salute you!
Speak English...
Cust: is it here I get different sizes?
EM: yeah! what were you looking for?
Cust: theses looser (points to her ribs)
EM: (looks at tag) ok...
Cust: the cup change?
EM: yeah, if we go up in the back you will need smaller in the cup
Cust: this (points at the cup) fit fine
EM: sure, so if you go up a back size, you need to go down in the cup or it will be too big
Cust: hmmm, looser
EM: yeah
Cust: looser, no, tighter!
EM: oh, ok, so you want a 28?
Cust: I dont know?
EM: a 28 will be smaller
Cust: oh... ok?
EM: yeah! what were you looking for?
Cust: theses looser (points to her ribs)
EM: (looks at tag) ok...
Cust: the cup change?
EM: yeah, if we go up in the back you will need smaller in the cup
Cust: this (points at the cup) fit fine
EM: sure, so if you go up a back size, you need to go down in the cup or it will be too big
Cust: hmmm, looser
EM: yeah
Cust: looser, no, tighter!
EM: oh, ok, so you want a 28?
Cust: I dont know?
EM: a 28 will be smaller
Cust: oh... ok?
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Saturday, 20 April 2013
Forgetting
EM: I've given them the time for the next fitting
VG: good, I'd forgotten about that
VG: can you give this to the blonde lady trying on? If you do it then it won't look like I've forgotten her
EM: ok!
VG: can you take these to the lady in number six, I have to get these (shows EM a huge list of clothes)
EM: sure
(EM gets what she was looking for and goes off)
EM: (running back) oh! Gimme stuff!
VG: I was going to say!
VG: good, I'd forgotten about that
VG: can you give this to the blonde lady trying on? If you do it then it won't look like I've forgotten her
EM: ok!
VG: can you take these to the lady in number six, I have to get these (shows EM a huge list of clothes)
EM: sure
(EM gets what she was looking for and goes off)
EM: (running back) oh! Gimme stuff!
VG: I was going to say!
Confused
Cust: can I get your opinion?
EM: sure!
Cust: I've got a strapless bra on but I think it's a bit big (pulls the cup out at the side and holds her arms out) I don't know if I need to try the cup size down again?
EM: if you put your arms down... To be honest it looks fine, you'll always have a gap when you pull it but if we go down, your going to get an extra boob on the top of your larger side.
Cust: because the lady said the other one looked big
EM: ok
Cust: and these two. The 34F felt bigger than that one (points to a bra on the stool)
EM: (has a look at bras on the stool, there's the strapless in the smaller cup size and a 32FF in the other bra) the other bra is bigger round the back... and this (holds up the strapless from the stool) is the smaller size
Cust: but.. it was big in the cup
EM: a firmer bra will hold the cup to you. This is the smaller cup size in the strapless, so you can try that and see...
Cust: oh ok
(In the stockroom)
EM: VG, what strapless did you give to the lady in number four? I'm not sure she even knows what day it is...
VG: I gave her the 34E over the top of the door
EM: right? She just got me to check the F and said that she's been given that because the other one looked big?
VG: so she got me to check that and get another one and then kept it on and got you to check it, thinking it was the smaller size... Right...
EM: sure!
Cust: I've got a strapless bra on but I think it's a bit big (pulls the cup out at the side and holds her arms out) I don't know if I need to try the cup size down again?
EM: if you put your arms down... To be honest it looks fine, you'll always have a gap when you pull it but if we go down, your going to get an extra boob on the top of your larger side.
Cust: because the lady said the other one looked big
EM: ok
Cust: and these two. The 34F felt bigger than that one (points to a bra on the stool)
EM: (has a look at bras on the stool, there's the strapless in the smaller cup size and a 32FF in the other bra) the other bra is bigger round the back... and this (holds up the strapless from the stool) is the smaller size
Cust: but.. it was big in the cup
EM: a firmer bra will hold the cup to you. This is the smaller cup size in the strapless, so you can try that and see...
Cust: oh ok
(In the stockroom)
EM: VG, what strapless did you give to the lady in number four? I'm not sure she even knows what day it is...
VG: I gave her the 34E over the top of the door
EM: right? She just got me to check the F and said that she's been given that because the other one looked big?
VG: so she got me to check that and get another one and then kept it on and got you to check it, thinking it was the smaller size... Right...
Monday, 15 April 2013
What just happened?
(Man comes in goes straight to the till)
KB: hello, how can I help?
Man: when Justines bigger she'll need a different size top... But 32 is fine (man leaves really quickly)
EM: what was that?!?
KB: I don't know...
KB: hello, how can I help?
Man: when Justines bigger she'll need a different size top... But 32 is fine (man leaves really quickly)
EM: what was that?!?
KB: I don't know...
What you would want on a bra
JH: so it's your first fitting here?
Mum: Kate hates shopping, don't you Kate?
JH: ok, what are you looking for today?
Mum: Kate doesn't like lacy bras, do you Kate. Tell the lady what you really want on your bras...
Kate: dinosaurs
(Yes, she really said that. And no, she's not a child. She's in her second year at Manchester University...)
Mum: Kate hates shopping, don't you Kate?
JH: ok, what are you looking for today?
Mum: Kate doesn't like lacy bras, do you Kate. Tell the lady what you really want on your bras...
Kate: dinosaurs
(Yes, she really said that. And no, she's not a child. She's in her second year at Manchester University...)
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Off on lunch
EM: when are you back?
VG: never... Now. Do you need me?
EM: I need JB to do a fitting at 1pm and I'll be on lunch so I'll need you to co-ordinate
VG: that's fine. Do you want to go now?
EM: I'm just going to get some bikini bottoms and then I'll tell you about the ladies trying on
VG: ah what?!
(EM goes and comes back)
EM: ok, these are for the lady in number four. She's a bit shouty. And there's a lady in number six who wants to try on all the Esmes we have in a 36FF as they come up so differently
VG: oh I hate that! I never know what to say! Ok, go on lunch
(A few minutes later, EM is in the office about to go)
VG: EM! You owe me!
EM: why?!?
VG: the lady in number four was so pissed off when I appeared
EM: oh my god! Why?!
VG: she shouted 'you! Are you a fitter?' I said yes and she said 'good, get in here' I told her I had to check if anyone else needed help first and then I would be with her. Then she shouted 'I was told to put the bra on and someone would be with me but no one has come!'
EM: I didn't tell her I would be with her...
VG: I think it's just because she thinks she's being passed around. So JB can you go and fit her?
JB: what?! So you're going to pass her to me again?
VG: she'll be fine with her fitter... It's just other people
VG: never... Now. Do you need me?
EM: I need JB to do a fitting at 1pm and I'll be on lunch so I'll need you to co-ordinate
VG: that's fine. Do you want to go now?
EM: I'm just going to get some bikini bottoms and then I'll tell you about the ladies trying on
VG: ah what?!
(EM goes and comes back)
EM: ok, these are for the lady in number four. She's a bit shouty. And there's a lady in number six who wants to try on all the Esmes we have in a 36FF as they come up so differently
VG: oh I hate that! I never know what to say! Ok, go on lunch
(A few minutes later, EM is in the office about to go)
VG: EM! You owe me!
EM: why?!?
VG: the lady in number four was so pissed off when I appeared
EM: oh my god! Why?!
VG: she shouted 'you! Are you a fitter?' I said yes and she said 'good, get in here' I told her I had to check if anyone else needed help first and then I would be with her. Then she shouted 'I was told to put the bra on and someone would be with me but no one has come!'
EM: I didn't tell her I would be with her...
VG: I think it's just because she thinks she's being passed around. So JB can you go and fit her?
JB: what?! So you're going to pass her to me again?
VG: she'll be fine with her fitter... It's just other people
Decisions making process
Cust: (holds up a nude Alana) can I get this
EM: sure, you just pay upstairs
Cust: do I need to ask up there for another one?
EM: no, I can get that for you
Cust: (holds up the Tango II) I'm not sure what one to get as I've had this before and I want it because I need a smaller size in it
EM: oh right
Cust: they're both different shapes too. My fitter said that this has a wire and plastic in it (Tango II) so it might dig in... When I run (pumps arms up and down) it might rub... I don't do much sport. I walk. What one will not bounce when I walk? I'm not making sense am I?
EM: ...it depends on how much of your bust they cover
Cust: oh... I don't want to wobble in the summer... Can I get another one of these? (Hold up Alana)
EM: in nude?
Cust: or white
EM: ok, I'll go and check for you
(EM comes back with a white and nude)
EM: I've got both colours
Cust: I'm not bothered by colour. What's best under white? Nude?
EM: yes
Cust: I wear black and white strappy tops in the summer... And white? Is that cooler in summer? I don't suppose there's much in it...
EM: ...no
Cust: oh I'm awful at making decisions... You make it for me...
EM: take the two you have. You can always get other ones...
Cust: yes. Thank you...
EM: sure, you just pay upstairs
Cust: do I need to ask up there for another one?
EM: no, I can get that for you
Cust: (holds up the Tango II) I'm not sure what one to get as I've had this before and I want it because I need a smaller size in it
EM: oh right
Cust: they're both different shapes too. My fitter said that this has a wire and plastic in it (Tango II) so it might dig in... When I run (pumps arms up and down) it might rub... I don't do much sport. I walk. What one will not bounce when I walk? I'm not making sense am I?
EM: ...it depends on how much of your bust they cover
Cust: oh... I don't want to wobble in the summer... Can I get another one of these? (Hold up Alana)
EM: in nude?
Cust: or white
EM: ok, I'll go and check for you
(EM comes back with a white and nude)
EM: I've got both colours
Cust: I'm not bothered by colour. What's best under white? Nude?
EM: yes
Cust: I wear black and white strappy tops in the summer... And white? Is that cooler in summer? I don't suppose there's much in it...
EM: ...no
Cust: oh I'm awful at making decisions... You make it for me...
EM: take the two you have. You can always get other ones...
Cust: yes. Thank you...
Falling down
AH: there's a customer upstairs who bought some leggings but she's disappointed because they keep falling down... Is there anything we can do?
EM: what?! No!
JB: did she buy them yesterday?
AH: I think so
EM: is she returning stuff?
AH: she's returning a dress
EM: and she wants to return the leggings?
AH: well, she's wearing them
EM: they're probably falling down because she's wearing huge, shiny spanx kickers!
AH: so shall I just tell her that it might just be her shape?
JB: yeah, she tried them in yesterday and decided to take them so, we can't do anything...
EM: what?! No!
JB: did she buy them yesterday?
AH: I think so
EM: is she returning stuff?
AH: she's returning a dress
EM: and she wants to return the leggings?
AH: well, she's wearing them
EM: they're probably falling down because she's wearing huge, shiny spanx kickers!
AH: so shall I just tell her that it might just be her shape?
JB: yeah, she tried them in yesterday and decided to take them so, we can't do anything...
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Speak! And make yourselves known
(Its 11:50 and EM has just finished with the 11:20 appointment, and her friend is sat on the sofa waiting for her. The 12:00 appointment has let JB know she is here)
JB: Can you take the 12 o'clock appointment through? The 11:40 is late, so I can take her through whenever she gets here...
EM: Sure. (Says out loud) Claire, I can take you through now...
(The friend of the last appointment gets up)
Cust: Sorry, Im the 11:40 appointment... I was just waiting for my friend as I knew she was going to be ages and then I was going to go through...
JB: OH! I didnt know you were waiting for a fitting... I will take you through then...
(In the stockroom)
EM: What a knob! Who just sits there when they have an appointment?
JB: Can you take the 12 o'clock appointment through? The 11:40 is late, so I can take her through whenever she gets here...
EM: Sure. (Says out loud) Claire, I can take you through now...
(The friend of the last appointment gets up)
Cust: Sorry, Im the 11:40 appointment... I was just waiting for my friend as I knew she was going to be ages and then I was going to go through...
JB: OH! I didnt know you were waiting for a fitting... I will take you through then...
(In the stockroom)
EM: What a knob! Who just sits there when they have an appointment?
Picky
Cust: I'm 9 weeks pregnant and already my bras are hurting and I'm having to use an extender
EM: Ok, well lets have a look
(Cust shows her bra, its really big in the back because its stretched so much. The cups are small and sagging forward. Shes wearing a 36H)
EM: ok, well, I think we need to go up in the cup to stop you falling out but I'll take you up in the back to give you more room
Cust: Even though I'm wearing an extender? Even now this is cutting into me (lifts up band to show the red mark)
EM: This just doesnt seem to have much stretch left in it so its not able to move with you, its just clamping down
Cust: The wires really dig in, I dont know if you can see? (pulls wire away to show a faint mark) And I know that the support must come from the back but I hate the bulges you get. So I want something with a really deep band. Do you have anything like that?
EM: It's going to be Panache which is what you have on that has the deepest band. We could try a style that is not so deep under the arms so those wires dont dig in?
Cust: I can live with the wires, to be honest they did that when I was fitted for it and I persevered with them, I just dont want the bulges at the back, do you know what I mean?
EM: Sure, well let me have a look and grab something to try
(EM goes into the stockroom and grabs the Panacge Tango II in a balconette, 38H to try her in)
EM: Ok, lets try this and see what happens and then you can tell me what you like and dont like about it
Cust: I cant even do this up, can you see if you can?
EM: Ok, (does it up) there we are, lets just see how this one fits every where and how you feel about it and then I can get some 40 backs to try
Cust: Its too tight, but I like the depth of the band, its holding everything in. The front is really high, dont you have anything lower? I feel like im being strapped down. Im pregnant but I'm not going to be wearing high necked tops all the time... Do you understand?
EM: Yes. now I know what you like and dont like, I can go and get some other styles...
(EM goes and gets some others, There is a Harmony balconette, in a 40GG that is going to be the deepest around the back but the lowest in the cup)
EM: Right lets try this one (the Harmony) Its lower in the front. It has been discontinued in this colour so it was lucky I had one
Cust: I really dont like this one, I just feel clamped down
EM: Ok, lets try this one, as you can see it sits about an inch lower in the cup that the one you have on....
(Cust puts it on)
Cust: Oh thats better, I feel so much more comfortable... I keep wanting to pull it up my back to cover all the bulges, is that normal?
EM: well, the back should be level all the way round, but if you're more comfortable that way...
Cust: I'm not loosing any support... and theres enough room in the front?
EM: Yes...
EM: Ok, well lets have a look
(Cust shows her bra, its really big in the back because its stretched so much. The cups are small and sagging forward. Shes wearing a 36H)
EM: ok, well, I think we need to go up in the cup to stop you falling out but I'll take you up in the back to give you more room
Cust: Even though I'm wearing an extender? Even now this is cutting into me (lifts up band to show the red mark)
EM: This just doesnt seem to have much stretch left in it so its not able to move with you, its just clamping down
Cust: The wires really dig in, I dont know if you can see? (pulls wire away to show a faint mark) And I know that the support must come from the back but I hate the bulges you get. So I want something with a really deep band. Do you have anything like that?
EM: It's going to be Panache which is what you have on that has the deepest band. We could try a style that is not so deep under the arms so those wires dont dig in?
Cust: I can live with the wires, to be honest they did that when I was fitted for it and I persevered with them, I just dont want the bulges at the back, do you know what I mean?
EM: Sure, well let me have a look and grab something to try
(EM goes into the stockroom and grabs the Panacge Tango II in a balconette, 38H to try her in)
EM: Ok, lets try this and see what happens and then you can tell me what you like and dont like about it
Cust: I cant even do this up, can you see if you can?
EM: Ok, (does it up) there we are, lets just see how this one fits every where and how you feel about it and then I can get some 40 backs to try
Cust: Its too tight, but I like the depth of the band, its holding everything in. The front is really high, dont you have anything lower? I feel like im being strapped down. Im pregnant but I'm not going to be wearing high necked tops all the time... Do you understand?
EM: Yes. now I know what you like and dont like, I can go and get some other styles...
(EM goes and gets some others, There is a Harmony balconette, in a 40GG that is going to be the deepest around the back but the lowest in the cup)
EM: Right lets try this one (the Harmony) Its lower in the front. It has been discontinued in this colour so it was lucky I had one
Cust: I really dont like this one, I just feel clamped down
EM: Ok, lets try this one, as you can see it sits about an inch lower in the cup that the one you have on....
(Cust puts it on)
Cust: Oh thats better, I feel so much more comfortable... I keep wanting to pull it up my back to cover all the bulges, is that normal?
EM: well, the back should be level all the way round, but if you're more comfortable that way...
Cust: I'm not loosing any support... and theres enough room in the front?
EM: Yes...
Specific
Cust: Freya seem to fit me, but I like the 'Untamed' bra and the Curvy Kate one
EM: Ok, I'll go and grab those styles to try on
(EM goes to the stockroom, grabs the two styles she picked out and an extra Freya one)
EM: Right lets try theses
(Cust trys them on, the Curvy Kate doesnt fit as well)
Cust: The freya one fits best...
EM: Ok, was there any other styles I can get?
Cust: I like purple
EM: Ok, I'll go and have a look
(EM goes and finds some purple styles)
EM; Here we are. Have you tried the Deco before?
Cust: Moulded styles dont really work for me
EM: Thats fine, well, I've brought these ones as they are purply
Cust: I'm not really fussed what I get...
EM: Oh. Ok...
EM: Ok, I'll go and grab those styles to try on
(EM goes to the stockroom, grabs the two styles she picked out and an extra Freya one)
EM: Right lets try theses
(Cust trys them on, the Curvy Kate doesnt fit as well)
Cust: The freya one fits best...
EM: Ok, was there any other styles I can get?
Cust: I like purple
EM: Ok, I'll go and have a look
(EM goes and finds some purple styles)
EM; Here we are. Have you tried the Deco before?
Cust: Moulded styles dont really work for me
EM: Thats fine, well, I've brought these ones as they are purply
Cust: I'm not really fussed what I get...
EM: Oh. Ok...
Saturday, 6 April 2013
Friday, 5 April 2013
Stare at boobs
++++GUEST POST++++
This was passed along to LITBD from a past retail worker.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/health/doctors-say-looking-busty-women-1107578
Amazing...
Would that mean women get to spend ten minutes a day staring at a hunks huge cock to get the same effect?
This was passed along to LITBD from a past retail worker.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/health/doctors-say-looking-busty-women-1107578
Amazing...
Would that mean women get to spend ten minutes a day staring at a hunks huge cock to get the same effect?
Thursday, 4 April 2013
Just answer the question
Cust: I want to try that jacket
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: I don't know
EM: what size do you take in a shirt to get it done up?
Cust: I have lots of sizes
EM: ok
Cust: I'm a 36 or 38...
EM: it's not done by bra size it's done by dress size. For example if I'm a 12 around my waist but can only get a 14 to do up over my bust, then that would make me a 12 RC...
Cust: I'm 89 around my hips and 115 around my top... That's centimetres...
EM: I don't know what that would be in high street sizes...
Cust: what do you think I am
EM: I can't tell at the moment...
Cust: let's try a RC
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: RC
EM: 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 or 18?
Cust: oh 14!
EM: ok, so a RC would make it a 16 in the boobs...
Cust: maybe a SC... I have clothes at home where I have a 12 skirt and an 18 jacket...
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: I don't know
EM: what size do you take in a shirt to get it done up?
Cust: I have lots of sizes
EM: ok
Cust: I'm a 36 or 38...
EM: it's not done by bra size it's done by dress size. For example if I'm a 12 around my waist but can only get a 14 to do up over my bust, then that would make me a 12 RC...
Cust: I'm 89 around my hips and 115 around my top... That's centimetres...
EM: I don't know what that would be in high street sizes...
Cust: what do you think I am
EM: I can't tell at the moment...
Cust: let's try a RC
EM: ok, what size?
Cust: RC
EM: 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 or 18?
Cust: oh 14!
EM: ok, so a RC would make it a 16 in the boobs...
Cust: maybe a SC... I have clothes at home where I have a 12 skirt and an 18 jacket...
You know best...
Cust: I'm looking to by a bra... Panache?
EM: sure! Was it one you've bought from us before?
Cust: yes
(EM gets the custs details up and has a look)
Cust: (picks up the plunge version of the bra she had) this is it
EM: you had the balconette version
Cust: yes
EM: what colour were you looking for?
Cust: black and in a 38...
EM: F
Cust: F? I thought it was a double D?
EM: the last ones you bought in march last year were a 38F
Cust: I thought I had DD?
EM: you had a DD in 2010
Cust: I thought the last one I had was a DD?
EM: the DD was in a swimsuit
Cust: can I have a DD
EM: ok, I'll go and get it
(EM brings up the DD and the F)
EM: I brought both incase you think the DD will be too small...
Cust: (looks at them both) it's not that one (points at the F) that's too big...
(Custs friend comes over)
Friend: you know what size you are
EM: so, go with the DD?
Cust: yes
(Later)
MO: what the fuck
EM: that's never going to fit
MO: I don't know how you kept a straight face...
EM: sure! Was it one you've bought from us before?
Cust: yes
(EM gets the custs details up and has a look)
Cust: (picks up the plunge version of the bra she had) this is it
EM: you had the balconette version
Cust: yes
EM: what colour were you looking for?
Cust: black and in a 38...
EM: F
Cust: F? I thought it was a double D?
EM: the last ones you bought in march last year were a 38F
Cust: I thought I had DD?
EM: you had a DD in 2010
Cust: I thought the last one I had was a DD?
EM: the DD was in a swimsuit
Cust: can I have a DD
EM: ok, I'll go and get it
(EM brings up the DD and the F)
EM: I brought both incase you think the DD will be too small...
Cust: (looks at them both) it's not that one (points at the F) that's too big...
(Custs friend comes over)
Friend: you know what size you are
EM: so, go with the DD?
Cust: yes
(Later)
MO: what the fuck
EM: that's never going to fit
MO: I don't know how you kept a straight face...
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Keep ones knickers on
Cust: Hello, I have some bikinis saved
EM: Oh, ok
(EM has a look in the saves box but they are not in there)
Cust: I was told they would be behind the till
EM: I'm just having a look
Cust: It's two bikinis, in a 36F and a 38E
EM: I'm just going to phone downstairs to see if they know where they are
Cust: I was told that they would be kept up here for me
EM: Yes, Im just phoning to see if they know where they put them
(VG arrives)
VG: Hi, do you want to come down? I spoke to you on the phone and your bikinis are with your fitter as we agreed
Cust: Well the girl on reception didn't know that
VG: Well, I do and I'm here...
EM: Oh, ok
(EM has a look in the saves box but they are not in there)
Cust: I was told they would be behind the till
EM: I'm just having a look
Cust: It's two bikinis, in a 36F and a 38E
EM: I'm just going to phone downstairs to see if they know where they are
Cust: I was told that they would be kept up here for me
EM: Yes, Im just phoning to see if they know where they put them
(VG arrives)
VG: Hi, do you want to come down? I spoke to you on the phone and your bikinis are with your fitter as we agreed
Cust: Well the girl on reception didn't know that
VG: Well, I do and I'm here...
Friday, 29 March 2013
Best name ever...
AH: this is a list of all the bras that the 2:20 fitting wants to try
EM: Appadoo...
AH: is that really her name?
EM: yeah, or haveapoo
AH: or (starts singing to the Aggadoo tune) Appadoo do do...
(EM joins in and AH does the dance)
Both: push pineapple, shake a tree...
EM: Appadoo...
AH: is that really her name?
EM: yeah, or haveapoo
AH: or (starts singing to the Aggadoo tune) Appadoo do do...
(EM joins in and AH does the dance)
Both: push pineapple, shake a tree...
Actually, we are the little elves that come in during the night...
Cust: (on the phone) I was just phoning to see if you were open today, but seeing as you've answered the phone, I guess you are...
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Doctors really don't know much update
++++GUEST POST UPDATE++++
So, further on from this post here
Doctors really don't know much
Here's the lady in question in the national Sun newspaper.
She's about a H/HH now and probably a 30 back.
Not the 36DD they like to tell everyone they are when they have their boobs done...
So, further on from this post here
Doctors really don't know much
Here's the lady in question in the national Sun newspaper.
She's about a H/HH now and probably a 30 back.
Not the 36DD they like to tell everyone they are when they have their boobs done...
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Are you sure...
(Cust is paying by card)
EM: if you can pop your PIN number in please
Cust: ok (types in number) incorrect pin...
EM: ok, if you press the green button and then try again
Cust: ok (checks slip of paper in her wallet, puts number in) it's saying it again and now last try I know it's the right number
EM: alright, so try again and double check before pressing enter
(EM watches the cust put her pin in, except this time the cust changes a number)
EM: there we go
EM: if you can pop your PIN number in please
Cust: ok (types in number) incorrect pin...
EM: ok, if you press the green button and then try again
Cust: ok (checks slip of paper in her wallet, puts number in) it's saying it again and now last try I know it's the right number
EM: alright, so try again and double check before pressing enter
(EM watches the cust put her pin in, except this time the cust changes a number)
EM: there we go
Put your god damn glasses on
(Cust paying with card)
EM: ok if you just want to put your PIN number in...
(Cust presses buttons, terminal says its incorrect)
Cust: what's it doing?
EM: it's saying the incorrect pin was entered.
Cust: press E N T
EM: if you press the green enter button and try again, the numbers are quite sensitive so if you make sure that there are only four stars before you press enter
(Cust puts in number, she's pressing one of them too hard so it goes through twice, without looking she just presses enter)
Cust: what's it doing? I haven't got my glasses on so I can't see
EM: I think it's timed out, it's very particular that your pin is entered promptly
Cust: shall I take out my card?
EM: yeah, we can try again
(EM boots it up, cust puts number in, many keys being pressed twice...)
EM: oh, you've got about seven stars there!
(Cust presses enter)
Cust: oh have I? It's saying last try
EM: yes if you do it carefully and then check that there are only four stars before you press the green button
(Cust does as she's asked, finally. The transaction goes through...)
EM: ok if you just want to put your PIN number in...
(Cust presses buttons, terminal says its incorrect)
Cust: what's it doing?
EM: it's saying the incorrect pin was entered.
Cust: press E N T
EM: if you press the green enter button and try again, the numbers are quite sensitive so if you make sure that there are only four stars before you press enter
(Cust puts in number, she's pressing one of them too hard so it goes through twice, without looking she just presses enter)
Cust: what's it doing? I haven't got my glasses on so I can't see
EM: I think it's timed out, it's very particular that your pin is entered promptly
Cust: shall I take out my card?
EM: yeah, we can try again
(EM boots it up, cust puts number in, many keys being pressed twice...)
EM: oh, you've got about seven stars there!
(Cust presses enter)
Cust: oh have I? It's saying last try
EM: yes if you do it carefully and then check that there are only four stars before you press the green button
(Cust does as she's asked, finally. The transaction goes through...)
Doctors really don't know much
+++GUEST POST+++
This was linked to LITBD after it was stumbled across on the Daybreak website
Many people have ranted in the comments that its a waste of NHS money and she should be ashamed.
The interesting bit is that she magically went from a 32 to a 36 while under the knife...
Not sure that she would have asked for extra fat to be put on her if she wants to be a topless model.
It's a shame that women ask for DD's when if they were wearing the right bra they probably had F-G cups anyway.
It's even more of a shame that the people giving them these boobs don't even understand how bras work. The DD's they give them probably would be correct on someone who actually was a 36 back, but as any savvy and well bra educated woman knows cups of the same letter get smaller in volume as the back size gets smaller.
This woman is more likely to have 32F boobs now, if in fact she fits into the cups of a 36DD perfectly
36DD>34E>32F as one commenter rightly points out.
Bra fitting education, education, education...
Starting with plastic surgeons first by the looks of it.
This was linked to LITBD after it was stumbled across on the Daybreak website
Many people have ranted in the comments that its a waste of NHS money and she should be ashamed.
The interesting bit is that she magically went from a 32 to a 36 while under the knife...
Not sure that she would have asked for extra fat to be put on her if she wants to be a topless model.
It's a shame that women ask for DD's when if they were wearing the right bra they probably had F-G cups anyway.
It's even more of a shame that the people giving them these boobs don't even understand how bras work. The DD's they give them probably would be correct on someone who actually was a 36 back, but as any savvy and well bra educated woman knows cups of the same letter get smaller in volume as the back size gets smaller.
This woman is more likely to have 32F boobs now, if in fact she fits into the cups of a 36DD perfectly
36DD>34E>32F as one commenter rightly points out.
Bra fitting education, education, education...
Starting with plastic surgeons first by the looks of it.
Good effort Avon
LITBD came across this beauty.
"Invisible, even under white t-shirts"
No. Due to the overspill this bra couldn't hide in a tent...
Nice try
"Invisible, even under white t-shirts"
No. Due to the overspill this bra couldn't hide in a tent...
Nice try
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Lets be more specific
Cust: I'd like to try these on please (hands over a piece of paper with two bras on it and a note to get any other colourful bras in a 28FF) and anything else you have in that size
EM: Ok, I'll go and get these for you (notices cust has a bra in her hand) did you want to try that on while I get these?
Cust: Yes please
EM: Sure (shows her to a changing room) I'll be back with these
(EM goes off and gets lots of colourful bras in that size and the two that the cust had asked for)
EM: here you are
Cust: Oh there's lots!
EM: Give me a shout if you need anything
(Cust gets EM to check a few and then afterwards asks EM for her opinion on two)
Cust: So what one should I get?
EM: Errr... They both fit you so it depends what one you prefer...
Cust: That's not very helpful, I like both...
EM: Well, the one you have on is a plunge so you might find it more versatile...
Cust: Yes, I'll take this one
EM: Ok, what about the others?
Cust: I didn't really like them, I like pink...
EM: Ok, I'll go and get these for you (notices cust has a bra in her hand) did you want to try that on while I get these?
Cust: Yes please
EM: Sure (shows her to a changing room) I'll be back with these
(EM goes off and gets lots of colourful bras in that size and the two that the cust had asked for)
EM: here you are
Cust: Oh there's lots!
EM: Give me a shout if you need anything
(Cust gets EM to check a few and then afterwards asks EM for her opinion on two)
Cust: So what one should I get?
EM: Errr... They both fit you so it depends what one you prefer...
Cust: That's not very helpful, I like both...
EM: Well, the one you have on is a plunge so you might find it more versatile...
Cust: Yes, I'll take this one
EM: Ok, what about the others?
Cust: I didn't really like them, I like pink...
Friday, 22 March 2013
Time you got a watch?
Cust: I'd like a fitting appointment please
EM: Would you like the next available one or one from later on in the day?
Cust: The next one available, is there one now?
EM: Not right now, it will be in 20 minutes, is that ok?
Cust: (to her husband) Oh! We can do that coffee thing!
EM: Ok, so we will see you in 20 minutes
(Customer comes back 35 minutes later, there are two people due in for the fittings after her)
VG: Unfortunately we were expecting you back 15 minutes ago and there are ladies booked in after your slot, so the fitter will be bale to be with you for five minutes and then she has another lady waiting for her
Cust: What! I was told to come back later!
EM: Would you like the next available one or one from later on in the day?
Cust: The next one available, is there one now?
EM: Not right now, it will be in 20 minutes, is that ok?
Cust: (to her husband) Oh! We can do that coffee thing!
EM: Ok, so we will see you in 20 minutes
(Customer comes back 35 minutes later, there are two people due in for the fittings after her)
VG: Unfortunately we were expecting you back 15 minutes ago and there are ladies booked in after your slot, so the fitter will be bale to be with you for five minutes and then she has another lady waiting for her
Cust: What! I was told to come back later!
Firm straps
(On the phone)
AH: Can you come up and speak to a lady? She's looking for a bra that has firm straps
EM: Err... has she had a fitting?
AH: No, she doesn't want to get fitted
EM: Right...? I'll come up
(EM sees the customer)
EM: You're after firm straps?
Cust: Yes, I have this Fantasie bra thats really good but it won't last forever
EM: Ok, well we have a few Fantasie styles (shows cust some) were you after thick straps?
Cust: No, that don't stretch
EM: Ok
Cust: See I do a lot of dancing
EM: Do you carry the weight of your bust on your shoulders?
Cust: Well, yes. I have a narrow back but when I get fitted you insist that I need a smaller size and then it digs into my ribs
EM: Right, well, sports bras would be better as they don't have any stretch
Cust: Yes but they are not a great shape to dress up
EM: well... normal bras are not designed to hold you down as much
Cust: Yes, I'll have a look around...
(Cust comes downstairs with a list of bras she wants to try. Some with really stretchy straps, some that won't cover her boobs completely and some sheer. Asked for them in a 32GG and then had to ask for them on a 30, the size she says we 'insist' that she is)
AH: Can you come up and speak to a lady? She's looking for a bra that has firm straps
EM: Err... has she had a fitting?
AH: No, she doesn't want to get fitted
EM: Right...? I'll come up
(EM sees the customer)
EM: You're after firm straps?
Cust: Yes, I have this Fantasie bra thats really good but it won't last forever
EM: Ok, well we have a few Fantasie styles (shows cust some) were you after thick straps?
Cust: No, that don't stretch
EM: Ok
Cust: See I do a lot of dancing
EM: Do you carry the weight of your bust on your shoulders?
Cust: Well, yes. I have a narrow back but when I get fitted you insist that I need a smaller size and then it digs into my ribs
EM: Right, well, sports bras would be better as they don't have any stretch
Cust: Yes but they are not a great shape to dress up
EM: well... normal bras are not designed to hold you down as much
Cust: Yes, I'll have a look around...
(Cust comes downstairs with a list of bras she wants to try. Some with really stretchy straps, some that won't cover her boobs completely and some sheer. Asked for them in a 32GG and then had to ask for them on a 30, the size she says we 'insist' that she is)
Sizes are so confusing
Cust: I'd like this in a 32F (flicks tag around) I haven't got my glasses on
EM: Ok! I'll go and find it for you
Cust: Either that or a 30EE
EM: Oh, ok
(EM finds the 32F, cust goes and tries it on)
Cust: Can you check this? I think it looks alright
EM: Yeah, that looks fine, you're all in it
Cust: Yeah, that's what I thought, sometimes I need the 30EE as I fluctuate between that and the 32F...
EM: Ok! I'll go and find it for you
Cust: Either that or a 30EE
EM: Oh, ok
(EM finds the 32F, cust goes and tries it on)
Cust: Can you check this? I think it looks alright
EM: Yeah, that looks fine, you're all in it
Cust: Yeah, that's what I thought, sometimes I need the 30EE as I fluctuate between that and the 32F...
You try to help them...
Cust: I haven't got a fitting but I know what size I had last time, It's a 32H. Do you have anything in that size?
EM: We have loads
Cust: My bra has stretched since then. what size is next from a H?
EM: That would be a HH
Cust: I think it's more girth than the cup. I think I'm more a 33 than a 34...
EM: Did you want a fitting? I have no one waiting at the moment
Cust: I think if I just pick some and try them on and then get someones input that will be fine, yes...
EM: Ok...
(Cust goes upstairs)
Later, the fitting room door opens and she's dressed and ready to leave, without having asked anyone for input...
EM: How did you get on?
Cust: No... I'll need to try some more on but it's a start
EM: Oh, ok
EM: We have loads
Cust: My bra has stretched since then. what size is next from a H?
EM: That would be a HH
Cust: I think it's more girth than the cup. I think I'm more a 33 than a 34...
EM: Did you want a fitting? I have no one waiting at the moment
Cust: I think if I just pick some and try them on and then get someones input that will be fine, yes...
EM: Ok...
(Cust goes upstairs)
Later, the fitting room door opens and she's dressed and ready to leave, without having asked anyone for input...
EM: How did you get on?
Cust: No... I'll need to try some more on but it's a start
EM: Oh, ok
Polite request
This was left for LITBD after informing JB that the ladies who had come in 20 minutes before we closed were German...
Utter bitch.
Cust comes in wanting to return a bra that she bought. The wire has come out completely and there is no plastic on it. She admitted to machine washing it, she has no receipt and it's an anonymous sale...
She is told that due to the age that she says it is, the condition and that we don't have any proof of purchase, we cannot return it.
She leaves...
She then comes back in says that she is very angry and that 'she is the customer!' and wants to speak to the manager.
She then goes off on one, yelling at everyone. She demands to speak to customer services in private. VG goes to get her mobile so that the cust can talk to them but not in our stockroom sanctuary.
VG phones customer services so that they can have a heads up about what's going on.
Cust says that the manager shouldn't have just disappeared.
Cust goes (with VG's mobile) and stands in the entrance of the upstairs changing rooms. A woman in a motorised wheelchair is due to have a fitting in there. HW politely asks her if she could make some room so the lady in the wheelchair could get through for her fitting. Cust shouts 'no' to HW and then start ranting at her.
The lady in the wheel chair ended up having to shuffle into the fitting room as the cust wouldn't move.
Afterwards she slid VG's mobile back to her while VG was serving a customer. She went downstairs and sat on the sofa. VG phoned customer services and found out what had been said. In the meantime the cust went back upstairs and started ranting again that she 'had fought for people in prisons in South America and deserves better'
She is told that due to the age that she says it is, the condition and that we don't have any proof of purchase, we cannot return it.
She leaves...
She then comes back in says that she is very angry and that 'she is the customer!' and wants to speak to the manager.
She then goes off on one, yelling at everyone. She demands to speak to customer services in private. VG goes to get her mobile so that the cust can talk to them but not in our stockroom sanctuary.
VG phones customer services so that they can have a heads up about what's going on.
Cust says that the manager shouldn't have just disappeared.
Cust goes (with VG's mobile) and stands in the entrance of the upstairs changing rooms. A woman in a motorised wheelchair is due to have a fitting in there. HW politely asks her if she could make some room so the lady in the wheelchair could get through for her fitting. Cust shouts 'no' to HW and then start ranting at her.
The lady in the wheel chair ended up having to shuffle into the fitting room as the cust wouldn't move.
Afterwards she slid VG's mobile back to her while VG was serving a customer. She went downstairs and sat on the sofa. VG phoned customer services and found out what had been said. In the meantime the cust went back upstairs and started ranting again that she 'had fought for people in prisons in South America and deserves better'
That's a good reason...
Feedback left...
*Cust called to let us know that the reason she chooses us over competitors is because of the self stick returns labels. if we change to non-stick she will shop elsewhere 'it makes returns so much easier'*
*Cust called to let us know that the reason she chooses us over competitors is because of the self stick returns labels. if we change to non-stick she will shop elsewhere 'it makes returns so much easier'*
Wrong number
(Cust phones up really angry about a late order)
Cust: I'm calling about an order that I placed with you and its been over a week and you still haven't phoned me to tell me its there!
JJ: Oh I'm sorry but we don't have anything delivered in to store I'm afraid...
Cust: Yes you do! I spoke to someone called Melissa and did it!
JJ: We don't have a Melissa working here? What bra was it?
Cust: It was your store!
JJ: What bra did you order?
Cust: I don't know, Name some names
JJ: Well we have Fantasie, Panache, Freya...
Cust: It was double barrelled...
JJ: We don't have any double barrelled names here... We had Pour Moi but that was a while ago now.. The only one I can think of is Prima-Donna and I think Rigby and Peller stock that...
Cust: Hang on Ive got the paperwork here...
JJ: Was it Rigby and Peller?
Cust: Oh, Goodbye... (hangs up)
Cust: I'm calling about an order that I placed with you and its been over a week and you still haven't phoned me to tell me its there!
JJ: Oh I'm sorry but we don't have anything delivered in to store I'm afraid...
Cust: Yes you do! I spoke to someone called Melissa and did it!
JJ: We don't have a Melissa working here? What bra was it?
Cust: It was your store!
JJ: What bra did you order?
Cust: I don't know, Name some names
JJ: Well we have Fantasie, Panache, Freya...
Cust: It was double barrelled...
JJ: We don't have any double barrelled names here... We had Pour Moi but that was a while ago now.. The only one I can think of is Prima-Donna and I think Rigby and Peller stock that...
Cust: Hang on Ive got the paperwork here...
JJ: Was it Rigby and Peller?
Cust: Oh, Goodbye... (hangs up)
Minimising?
Cust: Do you have any soft cup bras?
EM: We have a few, did you want me to bring some for you to try?
Cust: No, I was just wondering, the trouble with all these underwired ones is that they make you look bigger because they push you up
EM: You may find that the soft cups will make you look wider too
Cust: but you still look smaller. Thanks...
(Later, cust is flicking through the catalogue)
Cust: All of these they have the top half coming out (points to the parts of the bust that are not in the bras due to the style)
EM: Thats because those are either plunges or balconettes so they are not designed to cover the whole bust, it would be full cups that do that
Cust: what ones are full cups?
EM: This one is (points to the Fantasie Belle)
Cust: and do they do that in a t-shirt bra?
EM: No, you would end up with it not fitting very well as there wouldnt be any seams to pull the bust in, it would be a big bowl shape...
Cust: I find that the others are just huge with all the padding in them like this one (points to a Fantasie Non-moulded T-shirt bra)
EM: We do have two non-moulded ones...
Cust: You do?
EM: Yes, theres this one (points to the Fantasie Esme) and actually this one is non-moulded (points to the one that the cust had picked out)
Cust: But it doesnt cover her, look at that, you would just get a line and if you moved you would just come out over it...
EM: Well, the whole point is that if they fit you then you wont
Cust: I find it very hard to get t-shirt bras, especially if they are fitted...
EM: We have a few, did you want me to bring some for you to try?
Cust: No, I was just wondering, the trouble with all these underwired ones is that they make you look bigger because they push you up
EM: You may find that the soft cups will make you look wider too
Cust: but you still look smaller. Thanks...
(Later, cust is flicking through the catalogue)
Cust: All of these they have the top half coming out (points to the parts of the bust that are not in the bras due to the style)
EM: Thats because those are either plunges or balconettes so they are not designed to cover the whole bust, it would be full cups that do that
Cust: what ones are full cups?
EM: This one is (points to the Fantasie Belle)
Cust: and do they do that in a t-shirt bra?
EM: No, you would end up with it not fitting very well as there wouldnt be any seams to pull the bust in, it would be a big bowl shape...
Cust: I find that the others are just huge with all the padding in them like this one (points to a Fantasie Non-moulded T-shirt bra)
EM: We do have two non-moulded ones...
Cust: You do?
EM: Yes, theres this one (points to the Fantasie Esme) and actually this one is non-moulded (points to the one that the cust had picked out)
Cust: But it doesnt cover her, look at that, you would just get a line and if you moved you would just come out over it...
EM: Well, the whole point is that if they fit you then you wont
Cust: I find it very hard to get t-shirt bras, especially if they are fitted...
Saturday, 16 March 2013
Have a bloody fitting!
Cust: I'm looking for 32D but I can't seem to find any
EM: oh! We have most sizes in our stockroom (looks at custs boobs) have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: I've been fitted at Triumph recently so I know that's my size so I just need to try them on
EM: ok, well some bras come up smaller than others so it might be worth while being fitted for them
Cust: I don't like being fitted, I end up losing the will to live
EM: right, was there any styles that you were looking for in particular?
Cust: I have balconettes in that size but I'm coming out the top
EM: that sounds like the cup size is too small
Cust: no, I just don't suit that shape I need something fuller
EM: ok, so just full cups in that size?
Cust: yes (points at a balconette) this is pretty and it's got a big cup
EM: that one is actually a balconette (checks tag) and its a G so it is going to look like to covers more that the D would
Cust: well something like that
EM: ok... (goes through some on the computer to check the stock)
Cust: are you getting them for me?
EM: I'm just checking some that are in stock and picking out styles that are quite roomy so you don't end up with lots that don't fit in that size (points to the Alana) as a D in a balconette is small, you would need a DD, but this comes up small anyway so you would need an E
Cust: not a DD?
EM: no because its small anyway. (Finishes checking) there's four for you, I haven't put many down as you don't want a fitting and I don't want you do give up because they don't remotely fit
Cust: oh no, I won't give up
EM: if you take this down they can get these and then other styles you would like too once you know what works and what doesn't
Cust: ok, thanks
(Cust then leaves without taking anything half an hour later)
EM: oh! We have most sizes in our stockroom (looks at custs boobs) have you been fitted by us before?
Cust: I've been fitted at Triumph recently so I know that's my size so I just need to try them on
EM: ok, well some bras come up smaller than others so it might be worth while being fitted for them
Cust: I don't like being fitted, I end up losing the will to live
EM: right, was there any styles that you were looking for in particular?
Cust: I have balconettes in that size but I'm coming out the top
EM: that sounds like the cup size is too small
Cust: no, I just don't suit that shape I need something fuller
EM: ok, so just full cups in that size?
Cust: yes (points at a balconette) this is pretty and it's got a big cup
EM: that one is actually a balconette (checks tag) and its a G so it is going to look like to covers more that the D would
Cust: well something like that
EM: ok... (goes through some on the computer to check the stock)
Cust: are you getting them for me?
EM: I'm just checking some that are in stock and picking out styles that are quite roomy so you don't end up with lots that don't fit in that size (points to the Alana) as a D in a balconette is small, you would need a DD, but this comes up small anyway so you would need an E
Cust: not a DD?
EM: no because its small anyway. (Finishes checking) there's four for you, I haven't put many down as you don't want a fitting and I don't want you do give up because they don't remotely fit
Cust: oh no, I won't give up
EM: if you take this down they can get these and then other styles you would like too once you know what works and what doesn't
Cust: ok, thanks
(Cust then leaves without taking anything half an hour later)
You either you do or you don't
EM: How can I help?
Cust: I have this bra and I bought it going by what I had before but it's too big so I'd like to get the cup size smaller
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: this is a GG but it was huge. So just one cup size down
EM: sure, we have it in stock, did you want to try it on?
Cust: I've had it before, that was five years ago and they might have stretched but I'm sure it will be fine
EM: ok, so you just want to take it?
Cust: yes, it should fit, shouldn't it...
EM: well, if you don't want to try it I'll get someone to just bring it up...
Cust: I have this bra and I bought it going by what I had before but it's too big so I'd like to get the cup size smaller
EM: ok, what size did you need?
Cust: this is a GG but it was huge. So just one cup size down
EM: sure, we have it in stock, did you want to try it on?
Cust: I've had it before, that was five years ago and they might have stretched but I'm sure it will be fine
EM: ok, so you just want to take it?
Cust: yes, it should fit, shouldn't it...
EM: well, if you don't want to try it I'll get someone to just bring it up...
Saturday, 16 February 2013
Friday, 11 January 2013
Phone call
(Wasn't a call to us but passed along via e-mail)
'We've just taken a call from a man asking what type of sports bra would be best for when he goes wrestling... Hope this is a one off and you won't get called. It made my day. Happy Christmas!'
'We've just taken a call from a man asking what type of sports bra would be best for when he goes wrestling... Hope this is a one off and you won't get called. It made my day. Happy Christmas!'
Mostly delusional
Cust: I want full cups in a 28K
JH: I'm sorry, we don't have any full cups in a 28 back
Cust: Yeah you always try and put me in balconettes and they don't work
JH: let me pass you over and we will find something for you...
(Cust goes into a room a JE takes over after JH gives the cust what she's asked for, a sports bra in a 30H and a plunge bra in a 30J. JE comes into the stockroom a few minutes later)
EM: She's a pain in the arse...
JE: Yeah! She keeps telling me she's a 28 but she wants full cups
EM: she's wearing the 'Belle' and it doesn't fit
JE: She is falling out of that
EM: and that's roomy and goes up to a JJ... Try this on her (EM gives JE the 'Fleur' in a 30K
(JE comes back into the stockroom again with the bra)
JE: she said its too big so doesn't want to try it. I couldn't even do it up at the back... But she says she doesn't like the colour so won't try it again... How does she think she's a 28? She's more a 32...
EM: She probably would be in the 'Belle' because it comes up so big. What was the plunge like?
JE: Oh god, she was 'plunging' out of that...
(After taking a bra which doesn't fit because she won't try a 32, she leaves a comment saying that we should have full cups in a 28K and we should bring back bras with adjustable straps...)
(All our bras have adjustable straps...)
JH: I'm sorry, we don't have any full cups in a 28 back
Cust: Yeah you always try and put me in balconettes and they don't work
JH: let me pass you over and we will find something for you...
(Cust goes into a room a JE takes over after JH gives the cust what she's asked for, a sports bra in a 30H and a plunge bra in a 30J. JE comes into the stockroom a few minutes later)
EM: She's a pain in the arse...
JE: Yeah! She keeps telling me she's a 28 but she wants full cups
EM: she's wearing the 'Belle' and it doesn't fit
JE: She is falling out of that
EM: and that's roomy and goes up to a JJ... Try this on her (EM gives JE the 'Fleur' in a 30K
(JE comes back into the stockroom again with the bra)
JE: she said its too big so doesn't want to try it. I couldn't even do it up at the back... But she says she doesn't like the colour so won't try it again... How does she think she's a 28? She's more a 32...
EM: She probably would be in the 'Belle' because it comes up so big. What was the plunge like?
JE: Oh god, she was 'plunging' out of that...
(After taking a bra which doesn't fit because she won't try a 32, she leaves a comment saying that we should have full cups in a 28K and we should bring back bras with adjustable straps...)
(All our bras have adjustable straps...)
It's not just customers that are a bit silly...
(Another shop owner comes in carrying a box, a week before Christmas)
Owner: I'm hoping you can help, we've ordered the wrong till rolls and I'm wondering if we can swap them for some that you have?
JB: (looks in box) I'm really sorry but they're too small for our tills...
Owner: So you can't use them?
JB: We can't, I can lend you a few until you get some more?
Owner: Yes, I suppose I'll have to keep these... Can I have ten? I can swap you ten of these...
JB: We wouldn't be able to use them...
(After the owner goes, EM comes over...)
EM: How did she order the wrong till roll and why can't she just send them back and swap them for the right ones?
JB: I dunno... But I said she could borrow a few... She took ten! How much stuff is she gonna sell!?
Owner: I'm hoping you can help, we've ordered the wrong till rolls and I'm wondering if we can swap them for some that you have?
JB: (looks in box) I'm really sorry but they're too small for our tills...
Owner: So you can't use them?
JB: We can't, I can lend you a few until you get some more?
Owner: Yes, I suppose I'll have to keep these... Can I have ten? I can swap you ten of these...
JB: We wouldn't be able to use them...
(After the owner goes, EM comes over...)
EM: How did she order the wrong till roll and why can't she just send them back and swap them for the right ones?
JB: I dunno... But I said she could borrow a few... She took ten! How much stuff is she gonna sell!?
Card payments (Aussie rules)
EM: Ok, that's £48. If you would like to put your card in the machine and follow the onscreen instructions please...
(Cust puts card in, the message pops up to put the PIN number in and to then press enter... Cust only presses enter and then takes her card out which causes the transaction to fail)
EM: Oh, do you not know the PIN number for that card?
Cust: yeah
EM: Ok, because you took your card out it hasn't gone through, lets try that one again
(Cust puts a different card in the machine, it comes up with the PIN prompt again, the cust keeps stabbing the enter key)
EM: If you can put your PIN number in and then press enter...
Cust: Oh...
(Cust puts card in, the message pops up to put the PIN number in and to then press enter... Cust only presses enter and then takes her card out which causes the transaction to fail)
EM: Oh, do you not know the PIN number for that card?
Cust: yeah
EM: Ok, because you took your card out it hasn't gone through, lets try that one again
(Cust puts a different card in the machine, it comes up with the PIN prompt again, the cust keeps stabbing the enter key)
EM: If you can put your PIN number in and then press enter...
Cust: Oh...
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